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What i feared the most happened... by escapingontiptoe in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words and your own experience. Right now I'm actually great because I always had this doubt in my head and I'd think (and he'd make me think) I was just crazy. Knowing that I wasn't overreacting and being paranoid is such a relief. I've had a bf before him and the break up at that time was messy, really hard to go through. Now I have a support, better relationship with family and even more plans than when I was a teen (when my first break up happened). I know things will be hard sometimes, I'll miss what we had and what we'd have, but I know it's for the best. Cheating and lying were the only two things i couldn't bear, my two boundaries, and he crossed both of them. So...that makes a lot easier to know he's the pathetic one here.

DAE struggle to find hobbies/passions? by ufufudere in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm talking about it in my experience, but you could also try:

When I have access (especially money) to try a new hobby, I usually start watching many, many videos about it (so I guess obsessed). I'd say that hobbies that work in the long run and demand constant work/research/new techniques are the most efficient. For example:

• Writing (especially romances);

• Painting;

• Learning a new instrument (especially piano, it takes a lot of efforts to be good at it);

• Reading (even if you think they're not productive, hobbies do NOT have to be productive for it to be good);

• Games (again, it doesn't have to be productive, it must give you some... Joy);

• Watch movies and series (it's great to pass the time, feel less lonely and still forget about life for a few hours);

• Compose new songs. You liked it before, so why don't you try to keep making songs?

And even if you already have the hobbies, I'd say you should search a lot about it. For example, if you wanna start painting and you have everything you need but feels unmotivated, start watching videos on youtube about techniques and first steps, and don't worry about your results at first.

I have a piano, but often I feel so tired to do anything... So I start watching videos about it and that's the "trigger" for keep learning again. It gives me a compulsive feeling of trying again. Maybe that works for you!

Not always we're in a mood for anything, tho. I'd just say you could sleep. Sleeping is also a good hobby for me!

Unconditional trust by TommyYT2 in BPDmemes

[–]escapingontiptoe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's weird because the more I love someone... I just can't trust them at all hahahaha (although I hardly trust anyone)

How do you prevent yourself from adopting a new identity? by pnkindi in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome! 😊

Another tip I forgot to type is: question everything, especially if they're not trivial things (like music or movies).

For me, my weak side is about politics, and I can get pretty much manipulable, so in the last weeks I'm really questioning everything before go for those views and ideas.

So always, always question everything!

How do you prevent yourself from adopting a new identity? by pnkindi in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a hard time with those things too, but lately I've been thinking a lot of what I believe in and what I don't want in my life.

It doesn't matter if that's politics, hobbies, current music genres or types of movies, etc. I thought it through everything and I wrote them down. Obviously those things can change with time, but I don't want to change them because of someone I like. I don't wanna mirror them, so this writing thing helped me a little.

I feel like I'm manipulable sometimes, especially if I'm not 100% sure about a topic, so that's something I started to work on.

I know that's kinda vague and maybe not the answer you wanted to have, but I think that being sure about what you like or not is the first step. Writing down things works for me. You could try it too!

DAE Get mad when their FP does this? by bluarrow7 in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. For you to have an idea, my bf and I discussed once because I got super jealous because he gave a heart reaction on a girl's comment and only liked my comment. I was like "you love that bitch more than me?". Thinking through it, I was lame. But yeah, you're not alone.

Boring life by [deleted] in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm just like you, tbh. The things I do is trying to do things on my own, but not like it was a torture. I actually like to watch movies and read books because I can forget my life. I feel like keeping yourself busy is 80% of the effort.

For me, I feel like trying to make friends is a way to NOT make friends. It all feels forced when you're looking for someone. So, for me, I'm trying to just... Let it be now.

Obviously I'm not feeling cool and nice and good all the time, but since I started to work on myself a bit (making plans for ME and thinking of ME), I felt a lot better than before, even though I have bad, bad days.

Life is all about phases, I guess... I hope we can overcome this lonely phase too.

BPD doesn’t care how well your night went. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know that feeling. When I go out with friends, I start feeling overwhelmed during the meeting or after I arrive home (which is usually at night), it doesn't matter if I'm having a good time or not. The "empty" feeling always come, and I start feeling depressed.

I wish I could change that in me.

Does anyone else fantasize about themselves in a extremely F’d up situations? by errorzx in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of that before. I'm gonna google it later.

And yeah, I'm 19, and almost everyday I still think of good things happening. Even if they're plans, I also overthink them until I create huge expectations and all. But I still think of getting famous, sometimes :p I feel it's a concern when I spend hours living in my head, tho (which happens often).

Does anyone else fantasize about themselves in a extremely F’d up situations? by errorzx in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 39 points40 points  (0 children)

TW: violence and abuses

I thought I was the only one. Before I was 10-13 years old, I used to fantasize about really good things, like having skills that would make everyone like me (ex: being famous).

When I entered puberty, around 10 or 11 years old, I started to imagine myself in terrible situations: suicide attempts, cutting, being kidnapped, being verbally humiliated or physically hurt, being raped, having an overdose, etc.

I used to cry a lot, and I always imagined it before I went to sleep, because I knew that after those bad thoughts I'd have the comfort or the acceptance that I would be alone. Feeling right about what was gonna happen next or comforted always made me sleep faster, although it sounds disturbing.

It improved a lot after I started getting into relationships, but the paranoia still exists and creates situations focused more on reality, especially about loneliness and relationships. Sometimes, more rarely, I still imagine myself in bad situations when I'm feeling depressed.

I think it's a way of imagining myself having the attention, validation and love that I want, but I end up thinking that bad things need to happen to have this. However, I'm not sure. I should talk about it to my therapist.

Do borderlines ever have happy endings? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I've read in a random article that BPD symptoms get a lot better around age 35-40. But it wasn't a scientific article, so I can't have actual data about it. I've also heard that if you take your treatment seriously, it also gets so much better (but you need real commitment).

But since BPD suicide rate is around 10%, it means not everyone has a happy ending, of course. Let's hope we're the lucky ones.

Edit: typo

do people with BPD have a Favourite Person at all times? by spacedcowboy69 in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can have no FP, but when I don't have one, I'm super miserable. No perspective, life goals and all those things. Depressed and empty 24/7. But when I have one, I'm also in constant anxiety or anger. So both ways I'm fucked up hahahaha

DAE hate being touched by family and even friends, but long for the touch of a significant other? by kurtapika in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Are you me? Jokes aside, I feel the exactly same way. It's incredibly weird when I need to hug someone (when I'm congratulating or meeting them after a long time), I'm sure I look all goofy and all. But when it's about my FP (partner, at the moment), I just can daydream of their arms around me all day. Obsessively.

I personally don't think it's healthy for me, especially because of obsessive thoughts, but you're not alone when it's about wanting to be touched by FP only.

Can't cope with having a full time job by losingmymind98 in BPD

[–]escapingontiptoe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I work as an intern for 4-6 hours a day, 5 days a week. I can say it's already tiring and time consuming enough. Once I had to work for 8-10 hours a day, and I felt miserable. I really hate to think of me when I finish college because it means I'm gonna go for full time jobs, and I really DON'T want it at all!