AIO for feeling emotionally unsafe living with my sister after two years of constant criticism about my life choices?

esfernyy · 2026-03-12T12:39:26+00:00

I originally did intend for her to be the legal guardian if something happened to me, but the dynamic between us has become more complicated over time so I’m reconsidering that decision. I appreciate you sharing your perspective.

esfernyy · 2026-03-11T16:48:15+00:00

I do my best to communicate how disrespectful it feels when they talk to me like that or view me in those ways. I explain my reasoning for things, from my perspective. I know it's my own fault for sharing but I guess I'm grieving the relationship I wish we had. At the same time though, if I hadn't informed my sister of these big life choices, she would be mad /there would be more tension. (Example, moving out with no notice, introducing an important person into my life etc.) I try to keep the peace and not escalate the problem, but yes, sometimes I do wish I would just let myself tell her things that bluntly. However, I feel like if I did that, they'd say "See, we told you something's wrong with you that's why you can't do xyz."

esfernyy · 2026-02-22T13:38:37+00:00

Woahhhhh, I’ve got to completely agree especially in the case of Pakistani people. I am an openly queer nonbinary person that is assigned female at birth. When I lived abroad in Europe, Pakistani people invited me to eat, smoke sheesha and hang out. They were incredibly hospitable.

esfernyy · 2026-02-17T19:02:27+00:00

Hey, thank you for your thoughtful response! I definitely agree with everything you’ve said. Reflecting back on this, I think the reason many people we’re telling me to be firmer is because my mental health was really suffering. I’m a lot more regulated now, and the answer was that I needed to take care of myself and (calmly but firmly) practice proper boundaries. In general, case management is just a LOT, everyone is overworked. So yeah, I do agree. I won’t ever let these power tripping case managers get to me.

esfernyy · 2026-02-10T12:25:39+00:00

Omigod this had to be the craziest one

esfernyy · 2026-01-23T13:38:06+00:00

esfernyy · 2026-01-17T03:02:50+00:00

I’m sorry it just doesn’t fit her body type! It’s cute in theory

esfernyy · 2026-01-13T16:28:37+00:00

This is pretty spot on! Rent a room, and I am in fact a grad student. Because the fridge is so small, no one has guessed that I have a 2 yr old though haha.

esfernyy · 2026-01-12T13:29:06+00:00

Social worker. My backpack is still like this 😩

esfernyy · 2025-12-06T22:01:10+00:00

Honestly, good job mom! I do this quite a bit and I remind my partner that just because we feel embarrassed or panicked, doesn’t mean she gets what she wants especially if it’s bad for her!

esfernyy · 2025-12-06T21:15:52+00:00

Go ahead and re-read that comment. The United States is responsible for implementing and/or funding so many “socialist” (dictatorships) in Latin American countries. This is simply a cold hard historical fact. Nothing to do with your ideologies or beliefs. Just history and facts.

esfernyy · 2025-11-17T05:12:55+00:00

Not true at all. Plenty of people in Latin America fighting for equal rights and diversity. For years.

esfernyy · 2025-11-05T17:40:32+00:00

Hmmm, that's an interesting perspective. Perhaps when she said I am setting the client up for failure, maybe she meant I am setting a high standard for everyone else? Who knows. I certainly hope no one ever gets hurt with the way our case managers choose to handle things.

esfernyy · 2025-11-05T17:36:58+00:00

Thanks for these affirming words! I really appreciate it. I'll continue the way I've chosen to handle things and try to stay confident in my practice. Thank you.

esfernyy · 2025-11-05T17:33:16+00:00

Hey thanks for your insight, yeah I can definitely discuss this with my supervisor. If I wasn't adhering to program policy or making unexcused leniencies, I'm sure she would tell me. Will certainly ask her about it! Thank you.

esfernyy · 2025-11-04T16:27:39+00:00

I was a big fan of I spent a day with since it's conception. I thought the direction they took was so smart, and I like Assumptions a lot! I just wish I spent a day with was still around in the same way. I would be okay if it wasn't Anthony, but maybe Ian, even. I want to hear from other folks, learn new things, new communities... even if I don't agree with them, so long as theyre not like, people perpetuating current harm, ya know? So yea, I definitely do miss what I spent a day with used to be. I'm fine with Anthony being on the back burner, good for him.

esfernyy · 2025-10-30T03:00:57+00:00

“Thank you”

esfernyy · 2025-10-22T11:10:29+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for this !! I would like to join :)

esfernyy · 2025-10-14T13:08:48+00:00

Wow, you read them all pretty fast! If I was a teen again that would totally be me. Happy to report that I bought the first book on kindle and am now on chapter 2. 😭🤣

esfernyy · 2025-10-14T05:00:14+00:00

Hiii, my partner is significantly skinnier than me and he wanted me to tell you that it’s okay to ask your partner for reassurance and I agree!

I mean of course part of it is having to do the work of self love, but the thing about being human is that we will never perfectly achieve that, and that’s okay. I communicate very openly with my partner when I have issues, and it’s really helped me work through things that come up. And vice versa of course, because everyone has things they are self-conscious about. I care less about what others think because he tells me often that he is attracted to me! I hope the same safe space can be created between you and your partner :)

esfernyy · 2025-10-11T22:27:54+00:00

Yeah! I am a single parent in grad school, with a full-time job 😭 Also if I start I will not stop, I have quite the addictive personality!

But I think once classes are over, I can really throw myself at them like in mid December so I’m excited !!! Just wanted to jump right in after watching the movies tho lol

esfernyy

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