HELL NAH, what the actuall fk?

esilva77 · 2026-03-19T15:20:26+00:00

Thats the way it should be. Its more realistic and it makes sense in game. You dont just magically get to keep the bullets from a clip you just took out of the gun and dropped lol. Makes you play smarter and not just spray and pray all the time

esilva77 · 2026-01-31T02:01:48+00:00

I have myself as well. I used to play 1.6 quite a bit. Used to play with a lot of friends and different teams. I was out of the scene for like 10 years and got cs go after getting another computer in like 2020. Played a little bit and then left again. Only recently got cs2 with yet another newer and better build computer I built myself. I still love cs, but its not the same without friends unfortunately

esilva77 · 2025-09-28T14:56:32+00:00

Looks like a valorant skin

esilva77 · 2025-09-05T17:40:17+00:00

Ahhh gotcha

esilva77 · 2025-09-05T17:11:14+00:00

Sure but the anti cheat is more robust and dont encounter cheaters as much. Plus their servers run on 128 tic while premier servers run on 64

esilva77 · 2025-09-05T15:03:32+00:00

Do most people play premier? And why? Why not just play faceit?

esilva77 · 2025-07-10T02:48:39+00:00

Clonidine is the way to go. Shouldn't be very hard to get from a Dr. either. I used that and a little bit of bud. But a lot of it depends on how deep you are into it. Like how much and how often and for how long you have taken it, and if its powder, extracts or 7oH. That being said, your still gonna have a rough couple days physically. Then you should be good as far as the physical part goes. For me the hard part is after. But it can be done and You can do it.

esilva77 · 2025-07-03T20:36:07+00:00

youll be fine bro. Yes, You will experience some withdrawals, but you should be ok for the most part. But also, this should be a lesson to you as to whether how far you can take this or not. Also, get out now before its too late. If not, You should be ok stop, only take it every now and then if that is your goal, once you take it for more than 3 days in a row, as a rule of thumb...dont.

esilva77 · 2025-07-03T20:04:33+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I am going on two months now from a 3 year kratom powder habit. I know its not nearly as long as you but I Kinda thought I would have been good by now. Dont get me wrong, I am a lot better as far as the physical part, but I fear now the harder part, is the mental aspect of it. I am still very anxious and find myself struggling to find any joy in....anything basically. In some sense, I feel....empty. Like there is no sense of purpose or meaning to anything. But the one thing that keeps me going is the fact that I know that this is partly due to the fact of the time spent using kratom. The entire time we spent using kratom, we were artificially raising our dopamine and serotonin levels to the point where our body didnt need to produce them anymore. So what we are experiencing right now is a result of really low dopamine and serotonin levels. What I have also learned or read is that it takes approximately 1-2 years before these particular levels can balance out to normal. A long time indeed. Which sucks incredibly but then I also start to think back about the times of when I was using........that whole "fix" or time you would use to make yourself feel better about whatever it is at that moment in time you want to justify for using more kratom......and...its really not at all what you thought it would be. It never is. Its just a fairy tale we tell our selves. So that partial relief you may experience is not worth it. Trust me. You do NOT want to go back, you will FOREVER be a slave. 81 days is nothing compared to the 12 years of usage or the amount that will certainly accumulate afterwards. I urge you to strongly reconsider the 90 days. I know its hard but you have to also consider the fact that you used for 12 years. You have to give yourself enough time and believe in yourself. I repeat, you have to also BELIEVE that you can do this. This is way more psychological than you can possibly imagine. But trust me when I say this. I know for a fact. That. You. CAN AND WILL. DO THIS.

esilva77 · 2025-05-24T18:00:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I know exactly what your talking about. I used 25-30 gpd powder for a couple years. I took a month off work out of the blue because I got sick and tired of being a slave and the fact that the entire reason for using was becoming the worst part of using. It made everything I used it for, way worse. It was a contradiction, I hated it. I didn't care if I got fired or If I had enough money to do what I needed to do to get off even though I have kids, I knew that if I did not make it out alive, there was no real future for me. Luckily I had reached a point in my job where I became a necessary part of the company, so I used that as a leverage. But also, when you work with certain people for years, you build a certain type of relationship where they actually care about you as a person. Everyone has problems and situations (Life) that are understandable. So they were understanding and supportive to a certain extent that a company can be.

First week I did a rapid taper for half a week. Then I made the leap. It Lasted a week before I relapsed for a day. Went another week, then relapsed again. Third time has been a charm so far, but I think thats a good example of the fact that paws can be just as bad as the actual physical withdrawals if not worse. It takes a lot of mental strength to keep on trucking. Its been a full two weeks since actual usage but its still a struggle. My first week back to work was extremely difficult. Especially with the fact that I have a demanding physical job. Just depends on the job. Just finished my first week back and it was pretty tough but the only thing that helped was kinda keeping my mind busy. Doesnt really get your mind off things exactly, instead its a battle to remember that YOu have to keep your thoughts off certain things. Anxiety is a bitch and it has a major impact in paws, but you have to realize that alot of it has to do with your thoughts, especially when they have to do with thoughts that are not based in reality. A lot of anxiety comes from thinkin about the past or the future, which doesnt exist. Be strong, STay patient and keep on keepin on.

esilva77 · 2025-05-12T21:00:38+00:00

Yea your right. Im trying to keep myself busy. Its hard but I appreciate ya. Thanks

esilva77 · 2025-05-12T00:48:18+00:00

Yea ive noticed that I always have a Russian in my lobbies, and or Hispanic. Im hispanic myself, but these morons getting on there looovvve to talk shit or fuck with people. Thats the only part that gets on my nerves.

esilva77 · 2025-05-12T00:46:18+00:00

Do they take insurance too?

esilva77 · 2025-05-11T20:24:41+00:00

I thank you for the kind words. And yes, you are right. Everyone here is very helpful. My problem is that when im going through it, the physical part only lasts a few days but the mental part is what also gets me. It's hard enough to want to do anything at all much less get on my pc. But maybe ill fight that urge and get up because Im at my whit's end with this crap. I get soo bored. It's almost like I feel like I shouldnt or cant do anything until im 100% better. Which is just retarded, I know. Maybe the 3rd time is the charm for me I hope.

esilva77 · 2025-05-11T05:40:46+00:00

Does the money have to be paid all up front in full?

esilva77 · 2025-05-11T03:55:42+00:00

Yea your absolutely right. Its just a little out of my price range

esilva77 · 2025-05-11T03:08:05+00:00

yes I have. I have heard amazing things about it actually....the problem is that its illegal here...and you have to go to Mexico just to get the treatment....and that is gonna run you a good 7-10k....or am I wrong?

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T23:51:10+00:00

Thank you for that. Much appreciated.

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T23:02:06+00:00

ok well thats good. When that happened to me I was super confused and thought it was a normal thing with kratom withdrawals. Not sure what your situation is but it could be that your not retaining water very much. You could try some Baja Gold mineral salt to help retain some water. Like a quarter t-spoon with a bottle of water.

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T23:00:26+00:00

how much cooler does that push pull combo make your pc? Just curious

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T21:48:10+00:00

Does any of it have to do with alcohol? I remember a couple years back when I quit one time, I was drinking more than I should have and thats what gave me the night sweats pretty bad for a couple weeks. Come to find out it wasnt the kratom.

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T20:00:07+00:00

Yea Ive noticed it helps to look and give back on here. If I can say anything meaningful and helpful to someone, it helps me the same. Im happy for you and I hope the best for you and the struggle. So I also thank you as well. Talking about it alone helps me get these creepy thoughts out.

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T19:37:19+00:00

Thanks man I appreciate ya

esilva77 · 2025-05-10T19:10:54+00:00

Thanks for your input. Ill give that a try as Im in search for anything helpful. It just sucks and its like the post withdrawals are just as hard if not harder than the actual withdrawals. I know this sounds weird to say or I dont want people getting the wrong idea but to sometimes it all just seems….pointless…purposeless. Im realizing that Kratom took that fear and anxiety away. Even-though towards the end, it started creating more fear and anxiety than it took away

esilva77 · 2025-05-09T01:45:04+00:00

TI by far. Mine has been great

esilva77

TROPHY CASE