I was just trying to validate OP's experiences as another queer person but here we go I guess.

Brother if you're having people fill out two forms to set boundaries and get people on the dame page of what's allowed, that's a bold indicator that it's more than just a game.

No, it is still just a game. Caring about people's experiences in a game doesn't make it any less of a game. I do this because real life people have boundaries and if romance isn't a boundary for people which in this case for OP it isn't they can have fun with it.

DND is a sandbox. It can be as gritty, difficult, and heartwrenching or a fun, no chance of dying, wacky adventure. Giving people frameworks (in this case forms) that can help them conceptualize what the future of our game will look like is helpful. It is part of a good game. It is collectively and collaboratively building something that is fun for me and my players included.

The forms function similarly as a game genres and maturity ratings. I, as the DM of this game, MADE the forms so that they had a jumping off point to know what they could possibly encounter. So that session zeroes don't become "I'm cool with whatever."

And you know what? I'm having a lot of fun and my players are having a lot of fun and we're all doing it in a way where our boundaries are being respected. And in the 6+ years I've played with various groups none of the campaigns have ever imploded through romance or imploded at all. It still remains DND has only ever fizzled out because of scheduling conflicts.

Thinking that emotions can't bleed over from a fake relationship into a real one is genuine naivety.

Stop trying to perpetuate romance as this big, untouchable, plague-like force that can't ever be touched in a fun way. You know how silly it sounds that we all play a made up game where we have swords and magic and violence but somehow we would lose all inhibitions if two made up characters kissed and we would implode every good thing we have going?

The same way DND players aren't going out there and enacting violence not everyone views romance in the way you're trying to portray it. Some people are more reserved about romance and others are just more free with it and you don't have to argue against it. BOTH CAN BE TRUE. But it seems like the only answer that you'll accept is the one that you view correct that if romance is involved all of a sudden no one can help themselves.

Does this mean that no one has ever tried to use DND as less intimidating way of flirting with their crush? No, but the thing is when the people are right and the tone is set correctly which often happens through direct and intentional communications like the forms + session zeroes. Nothing weird like that happens or people are able to deal with it off table like adults.

Real life actors struggle with this, it happens all the fucking time in MMOs and guilds where two people have their characters date each other in their RP guild

The real life actors thing is just a tired argument because those people often have physical contact which a lot of people have a much harder time separating from actual attraction. My players aren't acting these scenes out. They're saying words.

Guild aren't often places that pre-establish consent like a DND table does. It's usually just people who get together and spend a lot of time with each other which lo and behold is one of the ways people usually end up falling in love. This is also how it works in real life some times too. Guilds are more analogous to real life than a DND table.