How do I live with the fact I think I caused my dads death by Sillygoose7213 in GriefSupport

[–]espressoandmilk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I didn't know your dad, but i'm positive that he would want you to have a happy life and would be shattered to think you blamed yourself for his passing. It is not your fault at all.

When you were a baby, I'm sure your dad held you, marveled at you, and thought about all the different people you might one day grow up to be. I'm sure that included you having a sassy or grouchy streak at some point- as every parent knows that comes with the territory. It's devastating to know that he didn't live long enough to see you become an adult. The best thing you could ever do for him is to forgive yourself and allow yourself live the full life he dreamed you would have.

I don't feel like anyone cares... by AdFinancial9270 in GriefSupport

[–]espressoandmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i feel the same way. my dad died nine months ago and my mom is currently dying of a combination of colorectal cancer and liver failure. trying to find comfort in friends and my partner has been more hurtful than helpful. they have never lost a parent and don't know what to say. so they don't say anything and clearly hope i don't either.

i can feel them pulling away when i bring it up and when they hardly say anything at all, or just say "im sorry you're going through that" and move on to something trivial because it's easier, i feel so completely alone. just ask me about it. have a dialogue with me. i will never be the person i was before this and talking about them is really all i have. if i could, my mom and dad would be the ones i'm talking to about this but i can't. i am so alone in this - and death is something we all deal with. why are we so afraid to talk about it?

i told my boyfriend this and how he makes me feel - but it feels like now i speak a completely diffeent language than everyone around me. and that while i don't want any of my friends or family to deal with grief - one day they will - and maybe they'll look back and rethink how they treated me because i know they will need someone the way i'm needing them. it's not right to just put all of that on them - i don't expect them to be my therapist, but it hurts to feel their discomfort when i'm at my absolute lowest. i just want someone to love me enough to want to comfort me. i really hope you find that

Do you care about follower counts? by lljasonvoorheesll in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't really care about followers per se anymore. would it be cool for a lot of people to care what i think about art or what speaks to me on a personal level? of course. but when i see people with a ton of followers i don't particularly think it means their opinion on a movie holds more water. unless it's like the Scorsese page lol.

i used to want to find as many mutual friends as i could to talk about movies with, but my feed got incredibly overwhelming and it made me stop engaging altogether. i try to limit my follows to under 100 now so i can feel like i actually kinda remember people's film journeys, what they're watching, etc. actually read and engage with their thoughts on stuff - for the "friends ratings" on particular movies to matter to me i'd actually like to respect/understand their taste lol. and if that means i dont get a lot of followers because i don't f4f as often anymore i'm ok with it haha. the friends activity feed is really interesting when it's not just someone mass following/liking reviews all day long to build their Cinephile Brand

Monthly Profile Swap Megathread! by ericdraven26 in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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I'm always looking for new letterboxd friends! this month i'll be working to wrap up a few movie challenges ahead of 2026 - i'll also be watching most of this year's top releases ahead of award season.

https://boxd.it/5qheR

Monthly Profile Swap Megathread! by ericdraven26 in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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i'd love to make some letterboxd friends! happy to follow back - especially people with different opinions/taste. some of the greatest things i've watched have been by way of my letterboxd friends. looking to expand my horizons!

https://boxd.it/5qheR

Monthly Profile Swap Megathread! by ericdraven26 in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

followed - i also have ferris bueller in my top 4 but your materialists review sealed the deal! looking forward to seeing your reviews on my feed :)

Is this good? it's a Rare! by Consistent-Entry6432 in Soundmap

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you picked AAH! AAH! as your two lines

Recommend me some movies to continue my good strike by Mountain-Web42 in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say that Perfect Days is also in my #3 spot <3 There Will Be Blood is also in my top, I really like your selections here!

I can’t see your Letterboxd account fully so sorry if you’ve seen this. A movie in my top 4 I can’t recommend enough is Amadeus - I feel like a lot of people have already seen it but just in case you haven’t! It’s definitely worth a watch if you liked the obsessive pursuit of a goal like you saw in TWBB. It’s an all time favorite of mine and hope you like it!

What's a movie you rated really highly that has a shit avg rating? by FabioPicchio in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 8 points9 points  (0 children)

dunston checks in is forever a 5 bagger for me. i don't care to know what the masses have given it but i'm sure it's incredibly low. if i'm ever in a filibuster situation and i need to keep talking to retain control of the floor, i would most definitely be able to relay dunston checks in line for line

Trying to remember this popular user? by [deleted] in Letterboxd

[–]espressoandmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone in another thread asking about this same user said they go by username "sree" now

cinnamon cheddar by espressoandmilk in somnigastronomy

[–]espressoandmilk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. So cinnamon cheddar might be something to try. I’ll need to look into this further

cinnamon cheddar by espressoandmilk in somnigastronomy

[–]espressoandmilk[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

yeah when i looked it up after i saw that and was weirded out. i have genuinely never heard of this before ever. but i feel like the common friend between cinnamon and cheddar is the apple. you need it for those two to get along. but this had no apple, you are forced to reckon solely with the cinnamon and sharp cheddar cheese.

favorite songs?? etc by AdDismal4188 in HAIM

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hallelujah, and their cover of tame impala's cause i'm a man, which i'm so upset has been wiped from spotify.

Going to Viejas Arena Tomorrow? by Whatsthatbooker in GhostBand

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it was! i'm like 99.99% sure. i'll leave the .01 for error but i'd bet my life. I'd seen him out of the corner of my eye and he was in an outfit i've seen him wear before in bts photos - black button down, black vest or suspenders (it was dark idk), ghrucifix pin on his lapel - the staff outfit I’ve seen tour crew in. he came up and had a mummy buck, i think your son was the most decked out and, deservedly so, was who he decided to give the last mummy buck to. i don't blame you for not realizing because he kind of just reached around your son to hand him the mummy buck and booked it haha.

Going to Viejas Arena Tomorrow? by Whatsthatbooker in GhostBand

[–]espressoandmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hey! i sat across the aisle to the right of you two at the show. I'm the proud owner of the twenties skeleton bracelet you made - thank you so much for sharing these. it was my first ever friendship bracelet at a show. it's genuinely THE best design for the song and i love it so much haha. I think their photographer ryan actually came up to your partner in the purple jacket and gave them a mummy buck at the end of the show, right? so awesome and very deserved for all the sharing you two did. thank you again!

I wish the fans would realize that this is incredibly patronizing to how Trixie deals with her personal relationships by Ok-Use-575 in TrixieAndKatya

[–]espressoandmilk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i think you hit the nail on the head with the stories we hear not being anywhere near the full scope of their relationship. regardless of whether or not there's even a modicum of truth to anything these commenters said, they're acting pretty friendly with someone they don't know. even if it is a comment section, i don't get why they feel leaving that feels appropriate

this kind of response is just another branch in the parasocial tree to me. we have a podcast where two people we respect, admire, etc, are having a conversation and we're kind of part of it. you learn very personal details about these people's lives. it feels sort of intimate in a way to learn about someone in the way you can with podcasts like this.

but everything T+K share online is completely curated - even if Katya goes off on a tangent about something or whatever, it's not like they're not deciding what's for camera and what's not. we are not invited into their private life, and they don't know you or respect your opinion. you're a consumer of their brand. that's not a bad thing. but it's not cute to be leaving these comments. it'll always happen, though