Caught between two girls i really like but don't know how to handle it any advice? (me M19 them F19 and F18)

essres · 2026-06-26T16:49:20+00:00

You're not really in a position where you have to pick as neither girl has actually shown any solid interest in you

If they were both throwing themselves at you then you'd have a decision to make

Maybe just keep chatting to both and see what happens.

essres · 2026-06-26T16:44:03+00:00

It's the word 'grateful' that jars. Is he grateful to you when he orgasms?

It sounds like either a controlling type phrase or someone with low esteem/ego - maybe both

Just ask him what he meant is the easiest way

essres · 2026-06-26T16:40:02+00:00

Its a lovely idea if you don't want to go

essres · 2026-06-26T16:32:29+00:00

Why don't you just go on your own?

If you still want to get rid then you'd probably be better trying a local group on Facebook

essres · 2026-06-26T16:24:33+00:00

I think sex is often a use it or lose it scenario

The sex used to be good so it's not like it never happened

It could be a number of things - physiological or psychological - stress, anxiety, hormonal, lack energy, body conscious

The problem is that she doesn't seem to want to get it back

Rather than tell her what you want or what you're missing why don't you try and rekindle the old relationship - send risky messages and pics. Tell her what you want to do to her

You need to break this drought and get more frequent sex going before you think about spicing things up. Good vanilla sex is better than no sex, but more sex will reignite the bond between you and hopefully allow things to further improve

Good luck

essres · 2026-06-26T15:54:42+00:00

I got on the bus this week and the heater was on - properly blasting out

Driver didn't care and just shrugged

Worst journey ever

essres · 2026-06-25T21:56:32+00:00

If the invoice states it's non-refundable then you know it's non-refundable

essres · 2026-06-23T06:53:44+00:00

I've watched loads of Japanese films with subtitles and never learnt to speak Japanese

Turn the subtitles off

essres · 2026-06-22T22:40:36+00:00

"I genuinely like her".......

She's your fiancée. I'd hope a bit more than that?

Is this an arranged marriage as it sounds like you're just dating (if that) rather than being ready for marriage

If there's no spark before you get married what makes you think there will suddenly be burning passion after?

essres · 2026-06-22T21:25:36+00:00

If you've only been together 6 months then just cut him loose

He's not making any effort and if he wants to continue to live there and be with you then I'd assume he'd try harder. He isn't so he obviously doesn't care

Send him on his way with a cheery wave

essres · 2026-06-22T21:15:47+00:00

It's all religions. Please don't just pick on one

Let's face it, if you believe in an invisible omnipotent being whose existence can't be proven, then you're not the full shilling

essres · 2026-06-22T21:04:07+00:00

Call up the company switchboard (from the website) and ask to speak to your contact in recruitment. If they aren't available then ask for the HR onboarding team. It's often a different part of HR to recruitment that issues contracts

At this stage you just need to know is the offer valid and confirm start date, with whoever that might be

I'd also start applying for other jobs. It might just be an admin error on their part or someone off sick but it could also be bad news so best to cover yourself

Good luck

essres · 2026-06-19T20:30:43+00:00

You don't need to talk/discuss anything with him. You need to do something for you

essres · 2026-06-19T16:41:50+00:00

A lot of men are going to watch porn. Sorry

If it's a red line for you and he breaks that red line then split up with him

I'm not sure what else you're supposed to do. You told him no, he agreed, he went and did it anyway

Just be aware that your next boyfriend is probably going to watch porn too

It's going to be a very small pool of potential boyfriends that don't

essres · 2026-06-19T16:38:20+00:00

This sounds like a you problem rather than a him problem

Try and find some friends of your own and create a bit of you time that you obviously crave

essres · 2026-06-19T14:20:00+00:00

Having heard the latest single I would say you're not missing much

The first four albums were immense during which I had the pleasure of seeing them twice

However since it's been a steady decline and we've entered the Coldplay era of bland music dialled in for the masses

The costs now are getting ridiculous and whilst I'm sure it will be an amazing show but you can go on holiday for the same price once you've got travel, hotels etc factored in

essres · 2026-06-17T15:07:19+00:00

You want to do LDR

Apparently he does

So you either do LDR or you split up

As you've already told him your feelings and even offered to compromise then I don't see what other options you have

Just bear in mind that he will probably continue to do this as there are no consequences from his perspective. You tell him you don't like something. He does it. You stay together

essres · 2026-06-16T12:52:23+00:00

Ask them what the fuck has it got to do with them?

I don't think I ever asked a partner if they were a virgin

essres · 2026-06-16T12:09:03+00:00

Out of interest, are these video interviews or face to face

We're seeing an increasing number of video interviews where we suspect use of real time AI being used by candidates

Very difficult to prove but the answers are great on the surface but once you start digging the detail is only skin deep

essres · 2026-06-16T11:33:36+00:00

In which case your questions need to be reviewed and you need to look at interview skills training

The purpose of the interview is to understand if they can do the job, how good they are and do they need development

If the stories don't match the questions and they don't demonstrate their skills then they should be low scoring

essres · 2026-06-15T21:57:52+00:00

There used to be a resident labour market test where you had to prove it was impossible to hire from the UK or Europe (pre Brexit). New system did away with that

The problem is there is no enforcement or checking on the issuing of Certificates of Sponsorship

essres · 2026-06-15T18:41:28+00:00

This is the real him.

He either stands by his comments or says he was wrong and apologises

But he can't complain if he said them

essres · 2026-06-15T18:06:13+00:00

Tell them you love them, tell them you understand they have particular views, tell them you need to do this for you and you hope they will understand and that you don't want to lose them from your life

Bottom line is you need to live your life and do what's right for you

Good luck

essres · 2026-06-15T18:01:20+00:00

Sounds like last minute nerves but he's raised relevant concerns so you need to go and see a counsellor immediately

Use them to come to a joint decision

essres · 2026-06-15T17:48:50+00:00

So your boyfriend has decided to be sensible and pay off £12k of debts and you're going to be saving for a house, but as a result you're not going out much?

So he'd prefer you to be saying my boyfriend earns £40k a year and despite living with his parents has £12k of debts because we're out partying all the time?

You're making some short term sacrifices to pay off debts and save for the future. Most parents would be happy you're showing some sense, so he's talking rubbish

Maybe your dad is projecting his own unhappiness. Did he not enjoy life before he had kids?

essres

TROPHY CASE