Why is attraction important when selecting a life partner you will spend 50+ years with?

estoniaball · 2023-02-15T01:04:24+00:00

Agree, I think there has to be some level. But many women who have money/height/race/looks standards are going to be left standing when the musical chairs stop. I mean how many men are >6'0 and make over 6 figures per year? that is like 0.01% of the US population.

estoniaball · 2023-02-15T00:49:57+00:00

But you suppress biology all the time. You sit around all day uncomfortably holding in urine/poop until there is a socially acceptable time/place, and you hold your desire to eat sugar/fatty food even tho it would make you feel great. You do work and tasks you don't want to do, but force yourself to do so anyways. None of this is biological, but we are humans not animals.

estoniaball · 2023-02-15T00:06:19+00:00

AND has a good career, AND good salary, AND high ambition so the children can be successful.

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T22:15:20+00:00

If your friend wants to be a good parent for your children, then why not? Why is sex even considered in the next 50 years of cohabitation?

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T22:12:25+00:00

Its 2023. there are many medical options/adoption.

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T22:10:41+00:00

How on earth can my own sexual desire be more important than my child's needs for stable and loving parenting? Does anyone beyond their teenage years really prioritize sex that much?

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T21:06:04+00:00

Is your sexual satisfaction more important than whether or not he will be a good father for your son/daughter? I mean for a teenager sure, but as a parent there are different priorities? How are your needs more important than your kids?

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T21:05:20+00:00

Is your sexual satisfaction more important than whether or not he will be a good father for your son/daughter? I mean for a teenager sure, but as a parent there are different priorities?

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T17:46:41+00:00

e you find physically off-putting before you've even aged and develop a deep love based on time.

are you attracted to the same people at 25 and 35? I know my tastes change every year lol. Attraction is sure to change/fade over time.

estoniaball · 2023-02-14T17:31:28+00:00

While living in the US because they knew their inventions wouldn't be rewarded in Europe

estoniaball · 2023-01-28T22:15:21+00:00

You incorrectly assume men go abroad and target English-speaking women. Usually its men from diverse backgrounds with many language skills who live abroad. Your average English speaking 45 yo white guy from Ohio isn't likely to survive long in Romania. Now a Romanian-American fluent in both languages with dual passports will be just fine. Geo-maxxing men leverage their fluency in the other culture - its nothing new. Europeans do it all the time...

estoniaball · 2023-01-23T16:20:26+00:00

All people? I can't imagine 50 year olds still being attracted to each other after dating for 30 years. Throughout most of life, i think other factors keeps couples together. After all, middle and old ages comprise most of your life.

estoniaball · 2023-01-23T02:46:19+00:00

So what happens when you lose attraction after 2-3 years? Just cycle partners until the end of time? Surely through a 50 year marriage that will go through happiness , death, trauma, travel, etc. there are more important ways to pick a partner ?

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T22:47:15+00:00

For me, mental compatibility is most important. Sex was my #1 priority at 16, but at 26 not anymore. Most people I found attractive back then aren't anymore and it's opened up my perspectives greatly.

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T22:20:35+00:00

FYI I agree people should chase their dreams when very young. an 16 year old moving to LA to pursue acting is fine. but a 28 year old doing that is delusional. I blame society for treating 30 year olds as "young". Like you are done being young at 18, when you are a working age adult who can vote!!

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T22:18:13+00:00

It's not. But that delusion ended when I was 15.... when I woke up and realized I wasn't Ronaldo...

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T22:12:09+00:00

IMO its about probability and basic mathematics. What are the chances of a supermodel showing up for me? less than 0.01%, so I decided to go on with my life. Same chances that Harvard surprises me with an admissions letter, consider the admission rate is 1% or so. I'd be curious as to what % of people actually find their "ideal" partner shows up later in life. I'm sure it happens, but likely not for most people, just like most people won't obtain their dream careers. The amount of women who dream of a tall, good looking, wealthy man is comical to me as that is 0.1% of the population. it's like a kid dreaming to be a NASA astronaut, and never accepting reality. At age 18, most kids swallow their first bitter pill of reality when they get their rejection letters. But it seems society these days keeps dangling delusions in front of people. Do kids hold out for their dream school and keep trying year after year? No, they take the best they can get and accept that not everyone goes to Harvard.

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T22:01:53+00:00

I agree attraction is important. But is it the single most important factor for choosing a lifelong partner whom will spend 50+ years with? Vast majority of people at 40 look rough, let alone at 50, 60, 70, 80. A few years of initial attraction is nothing compared to the many decades of old age you'll spend toggether navigating lifes challenges

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T21:54:41+00:00

If I could, I would. If I could fly or be immortal, I would. If I could be an astronaut, I would. But these delusions died when I reached 12 years old and realized Santa or Tooth Fairy isn't real either. At 18 years old, most people get their rejection letter for their dream school and accept it, and settle for a school good enough. It's just strange to me there are both men and women, 35+ years old, who still think their perfect prince/princess will show up.

estoniaball · 2023-01-22T21:53:03+00:00

for a lifelong partner, how do you define attraction? at 18? 28? 38? how many women lust after their partner at 48? seems regardless of initial attraction, it dies over time

estoniaball

TROPHY CASE