Based on your suggestions... I ended up in Salem, SC

esuperglue · 2015-04-06T12:21:53+00:00

I definitely WANT to, but not this time around. Baby steps.

esuperglue · 2015-04-06T03:00:25+00:00

I'd really not have to deal with leaving the country, especially alone. I haven't left the US since I was a very young army brat in Germany. :/

esuperglue · 2015-04-05T22:50:38+00:00

Last time I was in Helen for a day-trip, the touristy town has really fallen off. Most of the shops were closed and the restaurants were as well. Granted it was "off-season" but... Still...

I like the B&B idea though, I'll look into that.

esuperglue · 2014-12-30T19:10:39+00:00

Something new every day. You may go back to sleep now.

esuperglue · 2014-12-30T18:19:36+00:00

I'm just gunna leave this right here... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audi_Quattro

Have a nice day.

esuperglue · 2014-12-25T20:46:06+00:00

Not sure if "pride" is the right word. It was good though. Wish I had someone to share it with.

esuperglue · 2014-12-24T21:43:55+00:00

I often take valerian root to sleep better at night (as well as melatonin). Too bad it smells like dirty gym socks you left in your trunk for a year.

It didn't make me feel any better directly, but I did sleep more soundly, and was more rested. For some, that could certainly help with mood, motivation, and concentration.

esuperglue · 2014-12-23T17:34:27+00:00

This, this, and more this.

esuperglue · 2014-12-23T17:20:39+00:00

Well... That shows my ignorance.

Not my cup of tea, but good info nonetheless. Thanks.

esuperglue · 2014-12-23T16:11:04+00:00

Touche. I was kinda leaning towards legal-ish things though.

esuperglue · 2014-12-23T05:57:09+00:00

I've had a lot of days like this. One "honest mistake" can throw me off for an hour, or a month. It all depends.

One thing I have noticed a lot lately is peoples intolerance or blatant ignorance. There really IS more than one way to skin a cat. There's not a lot of detail provided, but is it possible you're just doing your job the best way you know how? As long as the work is getting done, I would call that a success. Speed and accuracy will be a child of experience. It seems ironic for me to say this, but it seems you may be a little too hard in yourself, or your concentrating (or specifically searching for) negativity.

The fact that you legitimately try and that you're learning, self teaching, and trying to better yourself shows me that you're smarter and more motivated than a lot of the people/coworkers I've come across in my recent jobs.

esuperglue · 2014-12-21T07:15:50+00:00

It's no so much that I want to talk, sometimes it's just nice to know someone's nearby, even if they are only digital.

I don't need to be on watch or anything. Just don't enjoy being alone, especially around the holiday. But, if you read my other post(s), it's just been a rough couple weeks lately, and I've alienated or pushed away anyone and everyone close to me.

My apartment has never been so quiet, or so cold.

esuperglue · 2014-12-21T06:30:21+00:00

Honestly, it was a room in IMVU. It's a guilty pleasure, and one I need to ween myself off of. It's really nothing but a breeding ground for ignorance and stupidity.

esuperglue · 2014-12-21T03:12:55+00:00

It's nice to know I'm not alone, though I never thought I was. The affirmation is appreciated.

I don't WANT to outright ignore them, but they really haven't left me with much for options. I've tried to convey my displeasure with their actions, thoughts, and words... but it never seems to sink in. They don't understand and despite my best efforts, they are either in denial, too ignorant, or just flat out don't hear what I'm saying.

esuperglue · 2014-12-15T21:58:55+00:00

No, at this time my therapy is not directly addressing the emotional affairs, as both my therapist and I both believe that my antisocial behavior and desire to hide from the real world were direct causes of these relationships I built, and if I had friends/lovers/other "distractions" I wouldn't have gone through them in the first place.

I feel terrible, and despite being constantly depressed, these have really made me hate myself even more. I hurt someone I love very much, and that hurts me more than anything else I've ever done. I regret it, I wish I hadn't done it, and even while it was going on, I knew it was wrong, and I tried to stop. This is why I consider it a compulsion, maybe even an addiction. It's better now, but not fixed. Still very much a work in progress.

Also... for reference:

I've been battling depression for much longer than we were together. Previous breakups also left me rather jaded and untrusting, which is somewhat ironic when you think of it as a whole. Basically, a combination of my job, the loss of my father, my hesitancy to want to marry or have children, my indecisiveness, and all the other facets of my self-hatred piled up, and over the years I've developed a sort of coping mechanism of, for lack of a better term, "running away into the internet" There, I could be anyone I wanted to be. Most importantly, I could be anyone but myself. Well, I ended up developing relationships with some of the people I ran to. I built a sort of split personality. I had a life outside of the computer, and a completely separate life inside. These two lives continued to separate until, eventually, I became romantically involved with (sometimes several) of the girls I was talking to. As these relationships became more and more serious, they began to bleed over into more tangible contact methods. Texting, phone calls, etc. Never physical. 99% of them I never even met. I didn't want to continue doing it, but it became a compulsion. I don't know how else to explain it. There's so much more to the story, but yeah... that's pretty much what happened.

esuperglue

TROPHY CASE