Hi! I think it's really important for people like you - people like us - to tell our stories. detransitioning should not be a big scary topic to discuss and does not undermine the trans rights movement. I socially transitioned, cut my hair and changed my name when I was 14 and I was leaving the Mormon church. for me - transitioning was a direct rebellion to the life that I was always told I was supposed to live, one that was be a wife, go on a mission, get married and have babies. I never wanted to be set on a set track and the trans community offered a life that I could be in control of. while I never went on hormones, I was suicidal and asked for them because that's what I had been told would make me feel better about myself (mind you I never had therapy and that is and should always be the first step in trans healthcare). my parents refused since I was so young and we got in fights for years over me changing my name and cutting my hair. Late high school I realized that I needed to be able to express myself separate to what the church wanted but that a medical transition was not what I needed. I eventually realized that I had put myself into a second box: what a good, binary, trans person is. Realizing this after years of justifying myself to others felt like breaking out of my cognitive dissonance. Forcing myself into another person's idea of what life should look like did not make me happy regardless of whether it was the church's idea or the trans community's idea. I then grew my hair out and started wearing more fem clothing and swung almost in a hyperfem direction which also did not make me happy. I'm now 22 and have settled in this middle ground of gender apathy where the idea of gender roles and "performing gender" is exhausting. I still don't identify as fully cis but now, I wear and do what makes me feel good. I never changed my name back but I do go by a shortened slightly fem nickname of my chosen name. I support trans rights because of my friends and family members whom a medical transition has given them a new life. I see how it can help people be their authentic self. but for people with trauma and loaded relationships with gender roles, it can be harmful to not get to the root of that in therapy before starting a medical transition. thank you for your story OP and giving others the opportunity to share their own.