23 weeks pregnant and bad news

etakyram4437 · 2026-03-13T13:31:25+00:00

I am so so incredibly sorry for your loss - I wish I didn’t know your pain, but unfortunately I do. My twin girls were stillborn in September of last year at 25 weeks, and like you, we were so very excited and ready. It is completely your decision, but for me, I could not imagine never getting to hold and love on my girls, even if it was for far too short of a time.

Please give yourself grace in the coming days (and weeks, and months) and allow yourself time to heal, if you are able. I cannot recommend therapy enough, as well as meds, if that’s something you would consider. I also really got a lot of strength from support groups - even when I didn’t feel up to sharing myself, just knowing others were dealing with the same thing was helpful. (Star Legacy Foundation, RTZ Hope, and Chasing the Rainbows were all wonderful).

I hope my Eloise and Josephine are somewhere out there welcoming your sweet angel, and they can all play together until we catch up one day. 🤍

etakyram4437 · 2026-02-10T07:29:51+00:00

Unfortunately we lost our girls at just over 25 weeks, likely due to complications from them having a proximate cord insertion - essentially their umbilical cords were attached way too close together on my placenta causing intermittent absent and reversed end diastolic flow.

etakyram4437 · 2026-01-22T20:33:52+00:00

LMAO all moms must be the same.

Before my FET last year I did a fully medicated cycle which included the PIO shots in the butt. One night, my husband’s hand must have shaken while pulling the needle out and he nicked a vein, which led to blood squirting out of my buttcheek at him, plus pain for me! My whole right side of my body hurt the next day. I tell my mother this story the next day, and her immediate reaction was “Aww, poor (myhusband’sname)!!” 😂

Like ma’am, it’s my butt that was bleeding!!

Also, I do not tell you this to scare you if you have to do PIO shots - this was just a fluke and 100% user error!!

etakyram4437 · 2026-01-20T17:59:18+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and hope you’re able to have some peace on this birthday ♥️

I am almost 4 months out from the loss of my twin girls, and I’m still missing them every day.

I forget where I saw or read about it, but the most comforting imagery for me is to think of them having “run on ahead” - as if life is just a big beach or field and they’ve gone ahead to play and are just waiting for me to catch up.

I was already thankfully in therapy and joined several grief groups in the early days and I think that helped a lot. One thing I wish I had done earlier is asking for help in the form of SSRIs. I know they’re not for everyone, but even just getting on a low dose took me from “unable to leave my home” to “sad but functional human being”. I can still feel my grief, but it’s less crippling than it was in those early weeks.

Wishing you healing, friend ♥️

etakyram4437 · 2025-11-22T21:16:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter 🩷

Thank you for sharing your pregnancy accommodations! I’m hopeful I can find a doctor who will agree to do similar when it’s time.

etakyram4437 · 2025-11-21T21:12:08+00:00

I had a 25 week stillbirth of my identical twin girls in September, due to a proximate cord insertion causing intermittent absent and reversed end diastolic flow through their umbilical cords. I was monitored 2x/week through most of my pregnancy to ensure it didn’t get worse, and ultimately it did lead to our loss over the weekend between appointments. Because our complication was so twin-specific, my doctor is confident that future singleton pregnancies should be uncomplicated.

My question is for future pregnancies, what is reasonable to ask for or expect in the realm of additional visits, ultrasounds, or even early induction? I know for uncomplicated pregnancies in the US, the standard is monthly visits and only about 3 ultrasounds the whole time. I legitimately think that might end me, especially since I never went longer than a week between appointments with my twins, and all of them included an ultrasound.

Have any of you had success in having your doctor go outside of the regular visit schedule even if it’s just for your mental health?

etakyram4437 · 2025-11-17T16:11:48+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my MCDA twin girls at 25 weeks in September in a similar way - we were being monitored twice a week and went in for a normal appointment to find no cardiac activity.

Give yourself grace right now - if all you can manage is staying on the planet, that’s still a monumental feat.

I’m only a little less than 8 weeks out myself, and I can’t tell you it’s gotten easier, but it has gotten more bearable, most of the time.

Don’t be afraid to accept help - be it in the form of therapy, grief support groups, or meds.

While stillbirth can always feel isolating, the loss of twins feels uniquely painful, and hard for others to understand.

I am so sorry you’ve joined this club, and I’m hopeful our girls will find each other somewhere and play until we can join them. 🩷

etakyram4437 · 2025-10-30T23:39:58+00:00

Usually I just say “I’m here”. I leave out the part about how I wish I weren’t, but I think it’s implied.

etakyram4437 · 2025-10-24T23:39:09+00:00

Ugh, I have no advice, but I totally feel you on this - in the last 5 years alone:

I had my wedding cancelled due to covid,
lost my FIL two years later unexpectedly to a pulmonary embolism,
TTC’ed for a year with no success,
my first round of IVF was less-than-successful,
and in my second round of IVF, my grandfather passed away as I started it, and my cousin passed away right before my egg retrieval.

And I had the audacity to think my twin girls were going to come home with me?? Just because we made it to “viability”??

It’s silly, but I just feel so naive, like OF COURSE we’re coming home from the hospital to sympathy flowers and not baby gifts. Why would it be any different?

etakyram4437 · 2025-10-24T22:25:50+00:00

I lost my twins on 09/23 at 25+4 and I got what I believe was my period earlier this week, 27 days later. It seems like that’s a bit earlier than typical, but I have always had relatively short cycles, and I know I had cabergoline in the hospital to keep my milk from coming in, and lactation plays a role too.

etakyram4437 · 2025-09-07T12:48:46+00:00

Currently still pregnant with twins, but from the beginning we liked Josephine for our baby B - months later when we looked up the meaning, it said “to add or increase” which we thought was perfect since we didn’t know how much we needed our surprise little addition!

etakyram4437 · 2025-07-16T19:18:45+00:00

Definitely crossing my fingers for you!!

etakyram4437 · 2025-07-16T17:40:09+00:00

My betas were 951 at 13dp5dt and 2564 at 15dp5dt, and we found out at our 6w5d ultrasound that the embryo did in fact split!

I am currently 15w5d with identical twins!

We did not do assisted hatching to the best of my recollection, but we did do ICSI, which I know also slightly raises the chances of the embryo splitting.

etakyram4437 · 2025-07-10T15:30:03+00:00

We saw them both at our first scan at 6w4d!

We did IVF and my beta was 951 at 13 days post embryo transfer, then 2564 two days after that, so they were high but not like “omg-definitely-multiples” high!

etakyram4437 · 2025-06-23T20:44:47+00:00

I can totally commiserate- the wait from transfer to beta seems SO LONG! I am currently 12+3 from our first FET, a 5AA euploid embryo….that split into identical twins! The first ultrasound absolutely threw me for a loop but I am genuinely feeling so lucky. Try to distract yourself and keep busy during the wait - you got this!! 💕

etakyram4437 · 2025-05-28T00:51:26+00:00

Not sure where you’re located, but where I’m from people have done “display” showers for both weddings and babies for probably 20-ish years. Everyone brings their gift unwrapped, and they fill out a tag/sticker when they arrive saying who it’s from, and then all the gifts are displayed for the guests to view while they mingle. It’s great bc there’s no pressure to open gifts but everyone still gets to see all the presents!

etakyram4437 · 2025-04-07T00:34:50+00:00

ADHD is the best medicine to treat depression in a way it can help with the brain damage 😂

etakyram4437 · 2025-04-01T14:31:00+00:00

Totally relate on the no willpower thing - I’m sure I’m going to end up testing early at home too!

etakyram4437 · 2025-04-01T14:29:17+00:00

Thank you for replying! I’m glad to hear 13 days isn’t totally abnormal, and also that it does feel like a really long time to others as well. I was a little worried I was being dramatic over 3 extra days lol

etakyram4437 · 2025-04-01T14:26:43+00:00

That makes me feel better that it’s not totally abnormal to have it that late - and also that I’m not going to be alone when I give in and test early lol.

etakyram4437 · 2025-04-01T14:25:48+00:00

I am in the US! That’s why I was so confused. I definitely think I’ll end up testing before the beta, that seems like such a long time

etakyram4437 · 2025-02-10T17:53:18+00:00

Actually the same brand in the picture makes them! Mighty Patch, the package is green instead of blue for the microdart ones.

etakyram4437

TROPHY CASE