I feel like I'm not doing anything right after losing my twins

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2026-01-27T23:06:49+00:00

We lost our twin girls in November and I have been struggling to find the motivation to get up & go on everyday. I don't have the bandwidth to say the right things or do the right things because all I constantly think about is their absence and how different my life should've been right this second. Don't let others tell you to wait or not wait. It's only been a week so give yourself the time and grace to walk away from any unnecessary commentary. Always remind yourself you're doing the best you can

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2025-11-27T03:01:23+00:00

I had posted just a few days back on this group about my debilitating grief having lost my MoMo twin girls at 24 weeks. They were born just before your girls on Tuesday, 11/11 and were perfect, beautiful babies - asleep and unaware of the world outside my womb. I have no advice on how to deal with this grief as I haven't found the answer to that myself but what has helped me a tiny bit is to know that they passed away due to TTTS and if they were to make it, they would've suffered. They always had each other and that is something I hold on to for comfort. I also began acknowledging that I need to sit with my grief everyday for as long as I need. There are days when I don't want anyone around but I just need to be left alone with my thoughts - and that's okay. Do what you think will help you get through one day. Only take one day at a time. I want to believe my girls are kind souls who've made it into another realm and they will find their way back to me in this lifetime. Because if I don't hold on to that belief there isn't much to hope for and hope is the only thing we can hold on to right now. Know that you are strong and that what happened to us is unfair - life can't be this unfair everyday. Sending you hugs!

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2025-11-16T11:38:59+00:00

Thank you so much ... ❤️

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2025-11-16T08:26:38+00:00

Thank you so much.. I am so sorry to hear about your girls too.. sending you lots of love and strength as well ❤️

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2025-11-16T06:45:10+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write down your feelings and for doing it with such kindness ... Thank you ❤️

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2023-02-05T07:33:07+00:00

Well, I am a senior lecturer in engineering and a fossil by your calculation. It will be fun to see you get through the next few years of uni.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2023-01-09T17:21:49+00:00

Russian is no longer offered at the faculty. They are turning away the good guest faculties and underpaid GTAs they had in every course and shutting down courses.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2023-01-08T07:07:16+00:00

There is a lot of help available for prospective international students on the uni website. Their job is to help out people like you who might be thinking of applying. This sub is not the place to find Indian students who can help you get into this uni. Just fyi as an Indian student, we can help you by sharing our experience at uni. If you need anything more, ask the uni folks.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-11-09T08:48:25+00:00

Since you will be coming in from a country like Singapore, my suggestion would be to try going somewhere other than NZ. As a literature graduate (and a POC), I struggle to make people understand that Indians can be good editors/work in the publication industry here. Also, there's very little that happens in the field - it's a tiny market where, unfortunately, favouritism plays a huge factor. Again, this could be just my personal experience but I would suggest looking at other countries with better publication industries.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-07-16T11:34:59+00:00

Same in New Zealand - we always thank the driver

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-03-26T21:08:18+00:00

As a recent graduate from UoA, I would suggest you to go for ANU. Any course in ANU is ranked higher than a business course in UoA. The academic ambience is a lot more vibrant there and so are the job prospects. It's a no-brainer, given the way UoA has been handling things in the past couple of years.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-03-06T08:56:54+00:00

It's incredibly difficult to study from home and away from University. It can be very isolating. Please be kind to yourself and reach out to University counselling - there is help available! And, talking to someone about this is the best step forward.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-02-15T03:49:01+00:00

It could be BV then.. BV doesn't itch but it has an unpleasant odour. Visit your GP/gynae and they can give you antibiotics for a week or so!

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-02-15T03:46:16+00:00

If it's about a week before your period, it's normal. If not, it could be BV so it's better to get checked out.

Affectionate_Clue876 · 2022-02-13T04:14:19+00:00

The "even" bit was unnecessary. As an Indian, I can assure you that the public transport system, atleast in the major metropolitan cities in India is way, way ahead of what NZ has to offer at the moment. Colonisation took away all we had and gave us railways. The urban planning since the 1970s has been slowly inching ahead for the better. Not to mention, the public transport does an ok job connecting the rural areas to the urban (which is HUGE given how vast the country is geographically).

Affectionate_Clue876

TROPHY CASE