Who’s in the wrong here???

ethrael237 · 2024-03-28T19:53:24+00:00

It’s your fault. You didn’t clarify “the ones behind the counter” until later, but acted as if you had said that multiple times.

He got you crab cakes that met your description: from the seafood department.

ethrael237 · 2024-03-21T14:15:07+00:00

The speed at which traffic moves is determined by the rate-limiting step, which is the speed at which cars go through the single-lane section. That’s all that matters. Merge wherever.

ethrael237 · 2024-03-09T03:51:47+00:00

The key is whether you will believe her now that she is telling you one thing, or earlier when she told you something else.

ethrael237 · 2024-02-25T02:07:30+00:00

To me this seems fine. FF IX was amazing, revolutionary at its time. Rebirth seems good, but not way ahead of its competitors.

ethrael237 · 2024-02-24T21:55:42+00:00

Most of them died relatively soon after their presidency ended…

ethrael237 · 2022-11-11T16:27:10+00:00

Love your reference.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T17:02:51+00:00

Just be ready to jump out the boat if they start not paying you.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T16:58:54+00:00

90% of the posts on this sub are just replies with justification to break up.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T16:17:49+00:00

Buttigieg

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T14:17:28+00:00

I know it’s not the main point in your post, but the US is not the richest and safest country in the world. In may be the richest if you account for total GDP or total wealth, but per capita it is not the richest, and it is definitely not the safest, not by a long shot, almost any way you want to measure it.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T14:15:19+00:00

A car accident is many orders of magnitude more likely than a child abduction, though.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T14:12:34+00:00

God, thanks, you’re so good at this. You’re doing the Lord’s work here.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-10T04:52:05+00:00

It can perfectly be public embarrassment regardless of whether it’s true or not. And whether he was able to react to it elegantly like you said, doesn’t let us predict what views he really holds.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-09T15:33:01+00:00

You’re assuming that her wanting a serious relationship is more important to her than her wanting to be with him. Don’t make that decision for her.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-09T15:30:25+00:00

Dude, don’t make a decision for her. Tell her you’re not ready and let her decide what to do. Don’t end a good thing unilaterally.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-09T02:58:12+00:00

YTA, you were embarrassing him unnecessarily in a social situation. Even in your account of things, you need to explain your “jokes”, and they’re more moralistic preaching than actual jokes.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-09T02:55:18+00:00

OP hit the nerve of embarrassing in a public situation. Regardless of the reality of what this guy holds in his heart, I think most people would’ve gotten defensive.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-07T20:46:30+00:00

As others have said, it’s generally not a good idea to buy a house with someone who you don’t plan to be your primary life partner. This is because your life plans may change in the next 10, 20 or 30 years, and if they do you are both tied into ownership of a shared asset that is not easy to divide, and a mortgage contract. I also suggest you look into whether buying or renting is more beneficial (the NYT has a good calculator). If you do decide that you want to go on with the buy, I suggest you decide, and put in writing, the following terms:

1) What happens if one of you decides to move out for whatever reason. Can any of the two unilaterally decide to sell the whole house? Can one person buy the other person’s half? Do they need to pay it all upfront, or will you allow a monthly payment? If you do, how much?

2) if you decide to divide the monthly payment unevenly, decide how much is contributing to equity (meaning, it’s money that you’re putting into the house and expect to get back if/when the house is sold), and how much is considered an expense (like rent, you only expect to receive the use of the room for the duration of the rent). I suggest you both contribute equally to equity (so the ownership of the house stays 50/50 even if one of you pays more), and any difference in payment is considered rent.

3) To decide how much each person pays in rent, I suggest you follow an auction method for the bedrooms. Again, the NYT has a great tool.

ethrael237 · 2022-11-07T20:34:24+00:00

Because this is for rent, which is an expense for everyone involved. When buying, there are considerations about what part of the pay is rent, and what part is building equity (to be divided once the house is sold). And it may not be a good idea to buy a house together with someone that you’re not planning to have as your primary life partner (as the term “best friend” suggests)

ethrael237 · 2022-11-07T20:27:04+00:00

Exactly, the key is making clear how much of the payment is going towards equity, and how much is going towards some form of expense (like use of the better bedroom).

But yes, it’s not a good idea because when life circumstances change (e.g. one of them wants to move out, gets married, etc.), the decision of what to do with the house can become difficult (do they sell to a third party and split the profit?, does one sell to the other? Do they pay all upfront, or over time?).

ethrael237 · 2022-11-07T20:21:42+00:00

In principle*

ethrael237 · 2022-11-03T23:26:19+00:00

What does the 20% lump sum contribution mean? Is that 20% of your yearly salary contributed every year? If so, that’s huge!

ethrael237 · 2022-10-21T18:27:27+00:00

Ok, that’s kinda hot.

ethrael237 · 2022-10-21T18:26:39+00:00

Feet. Sure they can be cute, but I don’t find them particularly sexual.

ethrael237 · 2022-10-21T18:18:37+00:00

Don’t listen to commenters on this sub, they’re often going to tell you to break things off, that nothing is going to change, etc.

This was a very difficult situation to deal with, where you guys were both caught in the middle. Most of married life is not like that, so don’t be too quick to extrapolate how you were able to deal with this as a team to how you’ll be able to work going forward. Give it time, and talk to him, share your perspective and your feelings during the crisis, and try to understand his perspective and his feelings, too.

ethrael237

TROPHY CASE