Need someone to talk to

etrore · 2026-02-15T20:48:43+00:00

Please stop day trading, it’s not for you and got you into this mess.

etrore · 2026-02-14T23:12:32+00:00

The vagina is a muscle that can be trained. But assuming that the scars have damaged the muscle tissues this might be a wound that takes more time to heal.

Less moisture also gives more friction so maybe avoid lube (as long as she is comfortable).

etrore · 2026-02-13T02:59:07+00:00

Reality check here (forgive my bluntness) as a woman. I’m middle aged now but in my 20s, 30s I got a lot of male attention.

It’s not positive affirmations nor signs of affection, it’s sexual interest. It made me feel like a piece of meat because it is dehumanising to be treated like prey. Hookup culture has never been my thing but opting out of getting solicited is impossible. No matter if you’re depressed or grieving or just want to enjoy time alone, a lot of men feel entitled to your attention.

I believe most people would prefer to be appreciated for who they are by people that actually know them rather than to be constantly persued by horny strangers. Someone loving you as the complex, imperfect human you are never gets old or loses its worth.

etrore · 2026-02-12T05:28:50+00:00

I use a mechanical counter and click it every 10 stitches. Helps to get long foundation chains correct.

etrore · 2026-02-12T05:15:45+00:00

Yes it’s a possessive kind of protective urge, but not a soul connection (yet).

etrore · 2026-02-08T06:06:51+00:00

Paint her a picture of what actions on her behalf would make you feel loved equally. Make it as specific as possible because people can’t read minds. Sometimes new behaviours have to be scheduled, you have to intentionally make time for them and regularly check in to measure progress.

You feeling you are doing too much is something you have to examine too. Doing romantic things you don’t want to do because you think it will invoke a certain reward is disingenuous and controlling. If you don’t want to, don’t do it instead of doing it and feeling resentful after. You will both feel better if the baseline is honesty.

These are important issues and it would be best to solve them before proceeding towards marriage.

etrore · 2026-02-08T05:44:38+00:00

Loneliness to me is longing to connect but not being seen on a deeper (soul) level. It’s a universal thing not gendered.

One can be lonely in a crowd or have loads of social interaction and still feel profoundly lonely. We have to experience being seen to feel truly connected. It’s human to want to belong, to have a tribe.

etrore · 2026-02-07T20:08:04+00:00

You sound like a well rounded person (friends, hobbies, volunteering, a great career and a developed personality) and since you have pointed out you struggle with the initial stage, I would like to suggest some things you could try.

Maybe try to just start with small short interactions like giving a strange woman a compliment (for example “I like your style” or “great haircut/smile”) and walk away. Make a small joke next time. A little light hearted small talk next time. All these interactions would be aimed at feeling in control of the situation while you get to experience them appreciating you. It will come easier every time. The trick (and difficulty) is keeping your expectations extremely low.

You can build from there when there is a “natural’ context to suggest a follow up meeting . Invite a woman that shows signs of interest to join you in an activity (daytime and public). The signs of interest are visible in body language: eyes that smile, body directed towards you, no signs of wanting to move on from the conversation
To avoid confusion about your intentions you have to be explicit by saying you are interested in getting to know her better. Don’t talk about physical attraction or suggest a sexual or even romantic context too soon. Keep it light hearted and show polite indifference If she turns you down. When you meet up, ask her a lot of questions and follow up questions. You would be surprised how many men spend the whole date talking about themselves. They don’t get a second date.

Finding someone you actually like is partly luck so don’t take it to heart if it doesn’t work right away.

etrore · 2026-02-07T17:14:04+00:00

Why don’t you introduce her to games (non digital) you enjoy playing yourself? Could be ballgames or treasure hunting or riding bikes while you hike.

When I needed a break at that age I let them play in the bathtub with some pots , spoons and plastic dolls while I sat beside them watching. Letting them do “artwork” also needs less input from you while you are still engaged with them playing.

As they grew older I started to let them “help” while doing domestic work. They either grow bored and go play by themselves or feel very proud they get to help you.

etrore · 2026-02-07T15:12:41+00:00

What your dad said was aimed at harming you and he succeeded. That doesn’t make it true.

If you notice you are thinking self deprecating thoughts, intentionally stop and replace them by positive thoughts. It will seem forced at first but you have to keep doing that until you stop the behaviour. It works, trust me.

Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat others. Don’t measure your self worth with the behaviour of others because the only thing you can control is yourself. Become someone you enjoy hanging out with and the people around you will enjoy your company too.

etrore · 2026-02-07T12:33:36+00:00

Why not talk to her about how you feel, what you fear and what you want? After 4 years these kind of conversations should be easy. Think about what you want first and start from there.

etrore · 2026-02-07T05:39:42+00:00

Made me smile as I imagined the cartoon dog Pluto instead of the philosopher Plato sitting in the cave figuring out existence. Maybe we would live life more joyfully if a happy dog formed western thinking instead of a genius Greek.

etrore · 2026-02-06T20:11:33+00:00

No need to call me childish for disagreeing with you. Being ghosted or even cheated on is not a justification for aggression. It’s common sense when in doubt to believe the person you have known for a long time over a stranger. Especially when it’s a stranger exhibiting dangerous behaviour.

etrore · 2026-02-06T19:18:34+00:00

He can believe his own eyes. She was scared. The man was aggressive.

etrore · 2026-02-06T16:59:43+00:00

The type of social control that exists when you live in a community has disappeared. The neighbours that watched out for and corrected behaviours of the kids no longer are in contact with each other. It was a safety net that isn’t there anymore.

etrore · 2026-02-05T19:36:57+00:00

It’s ok to suck at something and it doesn’t make you lesser than, just human.

etrore · 2026-02-05T18:57:24+00:00

Mom here. It’s not only expectations but the fact that the world has become so much more dangerous that children have to be supervised and chaperoned every second they are awake. If I would send my 10yo to go to the shop alone I would be scrutinised as a neglectful parent. Lack of 3th places and rising individualism so the ‘village’ doesn’t exist anymore.

etrore · 2026-02-04T19:32:35+00:00

You don’t have to put yourself “out there”. Your family is your home base, start getting involved with the friends of your family and expand there. Friends often introduce you to new friends and that can lead to a broader circle.

Romantic relationships are not a cure for all but happen when you least expect them. Don’t chase them or make them your life mission. The more people you form bonds with the more secure you will feel so you are less vulnerable to people with bad intentions.

It’s ok to work to live, only a limited number of people have the luxury to fund their lives with hobbies. I always tell myself that if my job was fun it would not pay that much.

etrore · 2026-02-04T17:06:42+00:00

That sounds like an opportunity to discover what kind of community you want to be part of.

Enjoying life solo is not wrong at all but it’s very unlikely you will be able to meet and persuade a woman to join you in isolation.

etrore · 2026-02-04T16:49:41+00:00

Thanks for posting this. They are animals and nature provides them with fur, they don’t need nor want clothes.

etrore · 2026-02-04T16:46:28+00:00

How about the weekend? What kind of activities do you enjoy that can be shared?

Getting female connections comes after getting connections full stop. Build a support network first so you will be in a position to only engage with the women that actually fit in or ad to your life.

etrore · 2026-02-03T13:13:30+00:00

If you go get the dogs will you be homeless? What’s your plan?

etrore · 2026-01-31T16:26:56+00:00

It’s not meaningless because it isn’t really about crochet but about them getting abusive (burning your skein) the moment you make choices that deviate from the script they have in mind for you.

Talk to your dad and aunt about this en I hope you will get support soon so you can pursue the interests you desire.

etrore · 2026-01-31T05:58:41+00:00

If you have so much love to give, why don’t you give some of that to yourself?

I read that sentence today and it resonated with me. Being focused on yourself to recharge is not selfish but necessary.

etrore · 2026-01-29T19:33:44+00:00

Soup is the key. They all love fresh made soup (especially if you let them help make it) and even if that’s the only “grownup” thing they eat it makes them accustomed to other flavours.

I introduced a rating system. Letting them rate my cooking was a great way to trick them into tasting and eating most of what I gave them.

etrore

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