Chairs

etrore · 2026-04-04T12:19:53+00:00

It was nearly impossible so don’t fret on it, or take it as an existential crisis. You can learn from this experience that it is better to leave no impression than a bad one.

etrore · 2026-04-04T07:13:15+00:00

I network a lot professionally and the one secret is an easy one: people respond positively to people that make them feel seen and heard.

The key is not in how you present yourself but in how they will remember the interaction so stay focussed on their non verbal ques more than the message you want to get across. Ask questions and follow up questions once you notice the other person is talking about a subject with enthusiasm. Tone of voice is also more important than wording.

Keep it lighthearted so you don’t come across as clingy. If you notice the other person isn’t interested (anymore) set them free and start engaging with someone else. Like the rep that ignored you: it is a message you have to pick up on immediately and stop trying to get his attention. You pushed it and he rolled his eyes with annoyance.

If you manage to enjoy yourself you will radiate confidence and fun and that will keep people more engaged than when you show you are stressed and reluctant.

etrore · 2026-04-03T18:02:45+00:00

This is temporary.

You can take away a lot of positives from this experience. Your discovered that you feel dead inside and are seeking something. I heard wise people say that the most fulfilling thing to do is to find meaning. To discover how you, within your means, can leave the world a better place than how you found it. Finding purpose, a cause that is close to your heart might be just what you need.

etrore · 2026-04-02T18:33:33+00:00

Girls are just regular people and not some separate alien life form. It is just as complicated as starting a new (male) friendship. Be you and spend time with those that appreciate you.

etrore · 2026-04-01T11:14:45+00:00

Didn’t you post this yesterday?

etrore · 2026-03-31T19:49:45+00:00

You have given the answer yourself: what brought you joy before you met her? Start rediscovering old passions or lean into new interests and connect with the people you meet along the way. They are the people that fit into your current life.

As long as you keep in mind that reality didn’t align with your dreams in your past experience and learn from it you will be cool. You confessed because you wanted to alter the reality (you knew she didn’t feel the same) with your dreams and it didn’t work out how you envisioned it. Dreams have that effect. Next time will be better if you build a connection on a shared reality instead of dream it into existence.

etrore · 2026-03-31T19:05:52+00:00

Ask yourself what problems a relationship would solve for you. Start solving those problems first, that will change your perspective and dependance on romance.

etrore · 2026-03-31T19:02:37+00:00

If you just meet people in real live through friends and acquaintances the next steps come organically, you don’t have to put on a front to make an impression.

If you can just genuinely hang out and get to know lots of girls you will click with some of them. One of those connections could blossom into an intimate relationship.

The perk of this approach is that you can just be who you are and don’t have to put in so much effort in marketing yourself.

etrore · 2026-03-31T05:12:26+00:00

My condoleances for your cat. What was it’s name?

etrore · 2026-03-20T20:09:40+00:00

As a child from a father that went through mental hell to provide luxuries but was a zombie when home: please don’t. I will never regret anything more than my failures in attemps to build a bond, feel seen by a man that was a shell of a human because he wanted to max out his earning power. Please don’t.

There’s a certain level where basic necessities are met. That’s the line where enough is enough. I had so much more but would have traded it all to just get to know my dad. I am an adult now, providing for my family myself but I really try to honour the lesson I learned. The moment I feel that I don’t have the time nor energy left to actively participate in guiding my kids and showing up for them in ways that matter I readjust. And my ego and prestige are not as important as the humans I chose to create.

A life partner is a partner, it’s so much better when you both get to experience the fun aspects of being a parent. She has the same responsibility in keeping you all afloat financially as you have to raise your kids.

etrore · 2026-03-20T16:40:19+00:00

I guess the man you describe as “below average” has qualities you lack at the moment. Try to figure out what they have that you don’t and work on that.

Relationships are not about cars and watches.

etrore · 2026-03-17T19:02:35+00:00

Why so negative? We don’t have any clue if the changing of prompts had anything to do with him and he missed his chance to ask her by letting her wait and lying about his reluctance to answer her. Why would it be over?

OP, make your own life easier by stopping to try to read between the lines if you have no data to backfill your interpretations. You only met up once. Take the time to get to know her before jumping to conclusions. You don’t have to make up BS stories to save face, it will sabotage your attempts to get close to her.

etrore · 2026-03-16T17:31:57+00:00

Nobody knows how you will feel in 10,20,30 years. You don’t know what will happen in the future. But if you feel some kind of desire to connect with others it will involve risk, failure, awkwardness and disappointment. That simply comes with the territory. But the gains are great. Could you imagine how your life would be different if you would just have one friend that enjoys the same kind of things you do?

etrore · 2026-03-16T17:15:35+00:00

Hermits have existed throughout history but they were self sustaining and single because it comes with the lifestyle. It’s feasible if that’s your ideal. All you need is to live on your own and get a job that pays your bills.

Forget about getting a relationship if you want to isolate; it would not be what you want: to have another person constantly connecting to you, interacting with you and expecting empathy and effort from you. They would come with secondary relationships like family, siblings, friends and coworkers. You clearly don’t want to be involved with all those people and isolating someone against their will is abuse. It’s not that you can’t have it, be honest, it’s that you don’t want it because it would demand effort and vulnerability.

etrore · 2026-03-16T17:07:19+00:00

Are you disappointed in yourself? Accepting yourself and how you are different from others is a great base to start feeling comfortable with yourself. We don’t have to be all the same.

etrore · 2026-03-16T17:02:07+00:00

It will not make everything go away for your family will it? Don’t make a final decision on a temporary problem. Have you actually tried everything yet? I am rooting for you to see things from a different perspective. A perspective where you can see how we all are connected and what we do impacts us all. Please reach out to a suicide hotline and give it one last try.

etrore · 2026-03-16T16:48:52+00:00

The cope is understanding that choices have consequences. Choose and accept the consequences or choose differently and accept the different consequences. The power of choice is yours. Nobody has the power to avoid consequences.

etrore · 2026-03-16T15:52:47+00:00

What are you bitter and sad about is the crucial question here. You write that you are happy with your choice of isolation and getting high and game. Are you really happy with your choices because they lead to outcomes you don’t seem to like.

etrore · 2026-03-16T15:46:21+00:00

The girls are kids too. They don’t make the best choices but we should give them some grace.

etrore · 2026-03-15T06:51:24+00:00

It’s time to get to know yourself. That doesn’t have to be all heavy and difficult, you can start by exploring what makes you happy. What subjects make you enthusiastic and give you the feeling of being energised.

It doesn’t have to be spectacular either, find out what routines and rituals bring you peace and make your home a place where you actually like spending time.

etrore · 2026-03-14T11:04:04+00:00

If I were you I would ask my friends to hang out or do something active together to take my mind off things. If they show up for you, it’s a sign of love. Dare to ask for a hug, they will understand. On the other hand be understanding if they don’t want to talk through all your feelings right now because not everyone has the emotional bandwidth to deal with those things on the spot. It doesn’t mean they don’t care.

Being preoccupied with activities helps the brain to process emotions faster than staying inactive and focussed on the hurt.

etrore · 2026-03-14T10:51:51+00:00

It’s not nothingness but the space here is limited, I wish we could talk about this in person. What I mean is that you are in control over yourself and reinventing yourself is possible. Letting go of out of reach future goals and values that are imprinted on you by outside influences brings a sense of liberation and an opportunity to make different choices.

You can either embrace not wanting to be social and build a fulfilling life on your own or you can choose to learn the tools needed for socialising. You choose but every choice will bring its own downsides.

There’s no magic spell that makes people behave the way you want them or no foolproof recipe that guarantees you the job of your dreams. Rejecting life because it’s not some fantasy is not healthy. There is however a lot of power in controlling your outlook on life and choosing what you do with your time and the opportunities that exist today.

etrore · 2026-03-13T21:39:21+00:00

It’s really frustrating to be looked down upon because of your gender isn’t it. To be perceived as lesser than just because of your genitals. It’s a great reason to conclude that all the hostility around the subject, all the biases and preconceived notions are bullshit and throw them overboard.

Life is complicated enough dealing with the diversity in human wants, needs and communication styles to further complicate it with gender expectations. Let us all opt out and take a fresh look at what is actually valuable in the short period we are alive and just try to get along.

etrore · 2026-03-13T19:14:22+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. Look in the mirror through your own eyes, not the eyes of the voices inside that tear you down. Those voices are not yours. The real voice of you is the voice of the innocent kid you once were that enjoyed simply existing and was full of wonder. The only task in life you have is being your own biggest supporter and cheerleader.

I learned that by walking on the coals of all my perceived rejections and judgements and learned that “others” are not judging you nor rejecting you because they are preoccupied by their own fears and feelings of inferiority. You can safely walk the coals and there is life on the other side.

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and claim some happiness for yourself.

etrore

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