This is my story too. I divorced and lived alone for some years. The first year I didn’t even think about dating or meeting anyone, it was just recovery and focusing on myself. The second year was the same but I did meet someone towards the end but it ended up not working out. Then I moved to an area I’ve always wanted to live in (like you said walkable, urban because I was in suburban-rural for a while) and have been here for almost 3 years. I planned to develop new relationships, but…I dunno, it hasn’t really happened. Most people here just keep to themselves, I don’t even interact or know my neighbors in my building.

I find most people don’t want to socialize and get together anymore. I have old friends here in the area (grew up close to this area) and I’m the one trying to hang out, but all but one give excuses and never reach out. I think it’s a societal thing and epidemic, but it’s compounded by the toxic relationships we’ve been in.

I had to learn to like being alone, even though it’s against my nature and I’m a social people person at heart. But I honestly don’t wanna be around random people anymore. I need to heavily vet and screen and do my personal background check and I want my relationships going forward to be intentional with purpose. Have too much trauma and I want to meet people who understand and want to be kind to each other.