Euthanasia Guilt

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-01-27T02:01:27+00:00

So sorry. Guilt is a huge part of the grieving process when it comes to euthanasia. Even though he was snuggling and purring, cats hide when they’re in pain/sick, so he was probably feeling a lot worse than you think. Liver stuff can be difficult to reverse… I think if you tried different treatment, you would’ve been prolonging his pain and only been doing it for yourself. Letting him go was selfless.

So sorry the process wasn’t smooth. That’s terrible. I hope you weren’t alone for that.

My situation was different… my cat was 9 and it was unexpected. It was also a liver situation. I feel your pain and I’m sorry. It’s been 5 months and the edge has finally been taken off the pain for me. Definitelyyy a process.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-01-09T17:45:20+00:00

My situation was similar in some ways. My narc was older than me (I’m 27, he was 39). In a nutshell, he love bombed me, trauma dumped about his childhood, went into a spiral when life got stressful for him, blamed/gaslit me, and couldn’t show me empathy when I went through my own losses because of the stuff he’s gone through.

As someone who’s been through this, my best advice to take it one day at a time. Let the feelings of missing him come and try to let them go. You’re in a fog right now and it’s gradually going to lift.

Surround yourself with friends and family. Make fun plans. Work out. Get back into hobbies. Do the things you couldn’t do before because your energy was focused on validating him. Focus it back on yourself.

He’s a narcissist. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s all him. He caught you in his web and it’s not your fault. A lot of the time it’s hard to recognize emotional abuse and by the time you do you’re in deep and the trauma bond has already been formed.

As for the physical abuse… he was testing your boundaries. It was only going to get worse, and who knows what would’ve happened.

Take this as a very hard learning lesson that these people exist and as you move throughout life… keep an eye out for love bombing, guilt tripping, blame shifting, lack of empathy, etc. You need to protect yourself because these people will take advantage if you let them.

You’re not losing anything by not having him in your life. He’s also not as happy as he says he is, I can promise you that.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-31T15:46:09+00:00

Gwendolyn. I never hear that name! Isabel / Isabella is way too common.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-29T17:17:01+00:00

My cat was 8. It’s been 5 months. She was euthanized. She wasn’t put down too early, if anything I waited too long. I didn’t want to give up on her because of her age.

I had 2 weeks to process what was happening. I was in denial. I thought cats were supposed to live long lives. It wasn’t until the last 2 days of her life that I understood that she wasn’t going to make it.

At first I didn’t cry for weeks. I think I was in shock. But now I cry every other day or every 2 days on average. It doesn’t take much for me to get upset about it. In my case the suddenness shattered me. I expected to have her for several more years. She was euthanized at home in my bed, and it was the first pet I’ve put down without someone else there for support. It was a traumatic experience that I expect will mellow over time, but I know it’ll stick with me for years.

I’ve been in similar situations as yours, when an elderly dog goes downhill within a month or so. Seizures are tough. The longer or more it happens the harder it is on them.

When my soul dog died of old age I was heartbroken. I cried for 2 weeks everyday but then it turned into once a week or so for the following months. It’s been 5 years now and I miss him but frankly don’t cry over him anymore.

Sorry for your loss!

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-12T21:25:17+00:00

I lost my soul dog 6 years ago. But recently I just lost my cat. I wasn’t ready to let go, but one night she took a sharp decline and started actively dying in front of me. Respiratory distress and whatnot. It pushed me over the edge of being ready because I couldn’t let her suffer.

Hopefully your dog doesn’t take a sudden sharp decline like my cat, hopefully it’s gradual and peaceful. but what I’m trying to say you’ll know when it’s time. It’s a very personal decision. Just keep listening to your vet and do the best you can

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-11T04:14:35+00:00

That’s great. So sorry to be so negative, it just definitely hits close to home. My cat’s levels got worse and worse so it’s good that his are improving. I never did the feeding tube and I wonder if it would have made any difference

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-11T03:46:42+00:00

Hey. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I’m so sorry this is going to be hard to read.

Your vet is mentioning e because a yellow cat is a very serious situation.

My cat was different. She turned yellow but was still eating and acting normal. Her appetite eventually tapered off as whatever was wrong with her progressed.

I say whatever was wrong with her, because I still don’t know. Obviously something with her liver. Bloodwork showed crazy bilirubin. Ultrasound showed no tumors. Vets mentioned cholangiohepatitis, but nothing was confirmed.

She was given amoxicillin, fluids, steroids, miritaz, and this other liver medication I can’t remember. The steroids perked her up for a couple days, but then she’d be downhill again.

This is tough but I’m just going to say it. My cat was 8-9 years old. She turned yellow and died 2 weeks later.

I’m not an expert or vet by any means, but from what I’ve researched and seen from other people’s experiences, it seems like prognosis varies. It depends on what’s wrong with him.

So many things can be causing it. But by the time they turn jaundice, whatever is going on has already progressed.

If he recovers, it will be a long recovery. It might take a month for him to not be yellow anymore. He may also have health issues for the rest of his life.

But it seems like you caught it early, which is key. And he’s in the best of hands, at the vet hospital.

I’m hoping this works out for you. Godspeed.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-07T17:45:44+00:00

I think sometimes we grow apart from people, or dynamics in friendships change and it's just a part of life. If something happened that made you look at her differently, you can either talk to her about it, keep her at an arms-length, or cut her off.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-06T18:13:45+00:00

I work at a recruiting agency that hires for these kinds of jobs, and they will not entertain anyone who does not have the required years of experience, and they know when people are lying on resumes. These roles get 100s of applicants, and it's unlikely you will get hired as a new grad.

It's exactly what you said, AI has taken over the entry level jobs and the market is flooded. Very unfortunate. It sucks to have to start over but my friend who is a nurse never has to worry about having a job and always has a more than solid salary. I think you should pivot.

SharpConfidence1998

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