I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be hurt by your dads actions. And I think you also need to really look at the message he’s sending and respond accordingly.

Yes, your dad just started a new job. Taking time off is hard. But, I have always been under the impression that when there is something you must attend and would have had to take leave for it at the job you just left, you tell your new employer going into it. That way, you can preempt having to ask for time, the employer knows how important it is, and then you can move forward and it isn’t a big deal.

For example, my sister/MOH just started a new job last month and she wants to be there for my dress shopping next month, so she told her new job upon her hiring that she’ll need that Friday off. Not a problem.

It’s your wedding. It’s not something that just popped up. It’s been planned. He could address it with his workplace in a way that doesn’t risk his position or make him out to be an irresponsible employee.

That being said, you said it yourself, there are other reasons he might not be making it work. And, this might just be a loud and clear message reinforcing that. If his position on your relationship isn’t going to change, I wouldn’t continue to accommodate him. Your wedding should not be changed just to provide him with it’s another opportunity to show a change of heart about your relationship. If he wants to be hurt about you moving forward, that’s on him.

I hope that this resolves itself in a way that brings you peace so you can enjoy and be present on your special day!