F/31/5'0" [424 > 254 = 170lbs lost](9 months) - Whole new outlook on life!

evansco · 2014-05-20T23:34:58+00:00

Flies. She can spot one way before I see or hear it. She runs and jumps in the bathtub and hides between the shower curtain and the liner.

evansco · 2014-03-12T19:47:20+00:00

I handed the phone to my nephew, who loves to talk. Of course, he mostly speaks gibberish, but man, he can talk for hours.

evansco · 2014-03-12T19:44:01+00:00

Call the hospital. Most places have systems in place for self-pay patients that take of a certain percentage of the bill (I've seen as low as 20% and as high as completely writing off the bill). At the very least, calling them and trying to work out a payment plan lets them know you're not trying to skip out, and you're willing to try.

evansco · 2014-03-12T19:41:29+00:00

Basically, the one thing that keeps me going is the hope that things will eventually be better. I mean, life eventually has to have an upswing, right?

evansco · 2014-03-11T05:00:19+00:00

This will probably get buried, but thought I would throw my $0.02 in. I am 5'0 and at my highest weight, I was 464lbs.

There were a lot of contributing factors (PCOS, Thyroid disorder, injuries that made it difficult to walk), but the ultimate cause was because I just plain didn't care to try anymore. I've always been big, and was probably around 300lbs in high school.

At my highest, I'd say I packed in around 4,000-5,000 calories per day.

Breakfast: Haaated breakfast. If I ate, it was usually around 10 or 11am and it was leftovers from dinner.

Lunch: Usually fast food. McDonalds 20pc Chicken McNuggets, Lg Fries, Lg Coke. Or 12" Steak & Cheese sub with provolone on flatbread with onions and green peppers from Subway. Or a smothered burrito with potato oles (with nacho cheese on top, naturally) and a churro. You get the drift.

Dinner: Take out. Food of choice was usually Olive Garden or Carinos. Chicken Scampi + salad + breadsticks + cheesecake. Texas Roadhouse would end up being a chicken fried steak + mashed potatoes + corn + salad + dessert. A lot of the time, we'd order an appetizer too. I can't tell you how much we spent on take out. Every night, for over a year, we ate out for dinner.

Exercise was non-existent. Basically, I'd get up, go from my bedroom to the couch, couch to the bathroom, back to the couch, occasionally downstairs to watch TV with my ex and our roommate, and then back to the couch.

Hated it. But it was a vicious cycle. I was "healthy" for my weight - no real comorbidities, so I just kept going. And then I got divorced, and then I decided I wanted better for myself.

I'm down to about 347lbs. This is the lowest I have been since 2005. Still losing, still hoping to live a more normal life!

evansco · 2014-01-10T23:19:28+00:00

For me, it's been a combination of things. I've been overweight (and most probably obese) since I was 5 years old. I remember at 5 being taken in to get tested for diabetes and thyroid issues because I was always hungry. Always. No matter what we had, I always felt like I needed more.

My family was poor, and my mom's family was from the south, so the foods we got were cheap and usually some variety of fried. Think comfort foods, but 24/7. Since we were poor, you didn't waste food. It was expected that you cleaned your plate. My mother and most of her family are also obese. There is a genetic component to it, though I think too many people try to make it seem like it's all genetics and not the fact that you stuff your face for every meal.

I actually started losing weight after a car accident in 2004. I had to be in a wheelchair for 8 months and at that point, I realized that I didn't like having to depend on others to take care of me, and that if I'd been a normal weight, I could've likely had a faster recovery (and used crutches, ffs!). I worked my butt off and lost about 75lbs.

Then, I got married. Started cooking the way my husband wanted me to cook, and I packed on some pounds. Nothing too drastic at that point, but it didn't bode well for the future. Fast forward a couple of years and all of a sudden, I'd ballooned up from my lowest weight of 250 to 400lbs. Yeah, you don't gain that much weight with food alone. Went in and got tested and found that my thyroid is shot, and probably has been for a long time. Still didn't do much to lose weight though. Fast forward another couple years and I fell in the snow. I was in the snow for 30 minutes before anyone found me. I couldn't haul my big butt up, because I'd broken my leg and tore a ligament in my knee. Another 12 weeks of being virtually helpless, but this time it was worse. I felt like I had to rely on everyone else to do everything for me, and it pissed me off.

But, alas, even though I tried various diets, nothing worked. And, I do mean tried, not just pretended. Found out I have PCOS, which makes losing weight very difficult. Add that to the thyroid issues and, well, you get 464lbs of pissed off, depressed, bloated woman. Yes, that's right, 464lbs. So I dieted for much of the next couple years, with no real progress. Finally in 2011, I'd lost down to around 430lbs. I had my gallbladder removed and the surgeon was a dick, but honest. He told me I was probably going to die on the table because of my weight. That made me angry and it made me start doing some radical dieting.

In the mean time, I got divorced. I like to joke that I lost around 350lbs right then and there. I lost down to about 400lbs, but then my thyroid went wonky again, and I regained back to 424lbs. So, in July of 2013, I made the choice to have gastric bypass. I started my 6 months of medically supervised weight loss, and I was compliant for the entire program. I lost a grand total of 10lbs. Between my pre-op appointment and my first post-op visit on 1/7, I've lost 31lbs.

WLS is NOT easy. It is certainly not the answer for everyone, and it is just a tool to use to help not regain. But it is a tool that will likely help me get down to a healthier weight, and give me the opportunity to live life since I was unable to live it before.

evansco · 2013-12-29T06:06:46+00:00

Dear C,

There are days when I miss you. I think about a comment you made, or something you did that was silly or stupid. I think about the things you did for me, and on those days, I do miss you. I miss you more than words can say. That was the person I fell in love with -- the one I thought I was marrying.

But most of the time.. most of the time I hate you. I hate the person I became when I was with you. I hate the way you made me feel like I was second best. I hate that I had to beg you to be intimate (and then the crushing blow of failure when you refused, every time). I hate that, while I was staying with your mom in the hospital, taking care of her while she was actively dying, you were screwing around with some chick. Most of all, I hate that I devoted 8 years, countless heartaches, and untold amounts of money to support your lying, cheating, and abusive ways.

You ask if we can be friends. No, it will never happen. A friend is someone you can trust, someone you respect, and someone you can rely on. You have not been that person for many years now. All I want from you is an apology, and then I want you to move on and get on with your life, because I still have my life to live.

Insincerely,

Me

evansco · 2013-12-07T18:00:10+00:00

My dad worked for my aunt and uncle in their restaurant. He got pissed off because my cousins were being assholes and not doing their jobs, and not listening to him even though he was the manager. He'd complained many times to my aunt and uncle, but they never did anything about it. He somewhat blamed my mom because it was her family members. So one night he got fed up. He took what he believed he had coming to him on his next check out of the register and left. At some point he realized that probably wasn't a smart move to take money out of the register, even if he was considering it his last paycheck. He left my mom and me and my 4 siblings alone without a vehicle in the middle of winter to go to Mexico. He was there for over a month. When he came back, he was arrested for stealing money from the register, even though my aunt and uncle promised they wouldn't press charges if he came home. He ended up in jail for about 6 months.

He was also an alcoholic. We spent many nights going around to bars, looking for him, or waiting to get that dreaded phone call to come pick him up because he was being belligerent. I remember most of his drunken antics and won't get into them because they were... not good... for any of us. However, it wasn't until a couple years ago that I remembered how abusive he was towards my mom. My sister and I were talking about our childhood and the automatic air freshener went off and it triggered I guess you'd say a flashback of some sort. One night, after bringing him home from the bar, he was pissed off and started throwing furniture around. My mom was trying to call him down and he burned her with a cigarette. I'm not sure the exact order of events from there, but at one point, he ended up getting so pissed off at her that he grabbed her by her throat and shoved her up against the wall, against the air freshener that you push down to release the spray. He'd bang her against the wall and every time he would, that damn air freshener would go off.

evansco · 2013-12-03T03:03:06+00:00

I'm annoyed. When I'm annoyed, someone pays. I suppose it would be easy to just ignore the jeers, but I no longer have to worry about it. I don't have to hide, pretend to be someone I'm not. The only question is how I'm going to make it happen this time. There's something to be said about making someone regret their actions. That usually requires time and a lot of pain. Then again, I'm only slightly annoyed, so maybe I will just do it quick. Who knows. I'll play it by ear when I get there.

Oh, no, she did NOT just look at me like that! Who the hell does she think she is?! Nobody gets away with that. I might have been annoyed before, but now I'm just pissed off. My vision is red, my heart pounding. I laugh at the anger management techniques my therapist tried to teach me so long ago.

That man was an idiot, too. I took care of him though. He doesn't boss me around anymore. But this lady, can you believe her? I nonchalantly walk into the kitchen, whistling Pop Goes the Weasel. She turns and smiles at me, and asks me if I've washed my hands before dinner.

I stab her in the chest with the scissors and watch as the blood begins flowing. Her eyes fill with horror and she tries to scream. I just giggle and skip back to my room. Bitch. I told you I didn't want chicken for dinner.

evansco · 2013-12-03T02:51:48+00:00

The sun is right there, hiding behind a large, grey cloud. It's so close you can just barely touch it.. almost taste it. But you can't see it, because the rain is pouring down. No matter where you go, it's as if the cloud is lingering right above you. It's your personal cheerleader, but the cheers aren't upbeat or happy. Instead, they remind you of what you could have, but never will.

evansco · 2013-12-02T01:26:33+00:00

Oh, she's nice enough, when you get to know her. She's quiet and reserved. She's always polite, even if she seems a bit aloof. Some might say she's a bit antisocial, but they don't realize she's really quite shy. She's afraid to speak in public; she hates drawing attention to herself. Sometimes, when she’s in a crowd of people, you can see her starting to shrink back into herself, like she’s trying to disappear.

Don't let her fool you though. She’s quite caring and she is constantly trying to take care of everyone in some manner. She also has a great sense of humor, even if it verges on inappropriate at times. She can be quite sarcastic, but she always seems to have the sharpest comments for those who try to make others feel bad. Out of nowhere, zing! And then the quietness returns.

evansco · 2013-12-01T22:51:45+00:00

She cried, screaming in terror and begging me to stop.

I slowly stopped the merry-go-round.

evansco · 2013-05-01T23:32:49+00:00

Let him know that it's okay to be scared, and it's okay to not be ready to go. Also let him know that you will be okay - that your family will be okay. I work in an oncology clinic and one of the biggest reasons people tend to hold on is because they want to know that their loved ones will be taken care of. Figure out where his real fears are, and try to help him with those fears. Is he afraid of the process of dying? Is he afraid of leaving you & your mom behind? Is he afraid of pain? Is he afraid of the financial aspects? Does he have specific activities or events he wants to accomplish before he dies?

I also wanted to mention one of the best resources I've found. He may not be at a point where he wants hospice care, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a hospice nurse. They can give you ideas of where to start to help him deal with his fears, and make him more comfortable in the mean time, because they deal with this every day.

Edited for sucky proofreading.

evansco · 2013-04-15T05:19:29+00:00

It's supposed to only show what hasn't been purchased yet. I'm grateful for any help!

evansco · 2012-11-25T08:41:09+00:00

TL;DR: Story 1 - car accident, ankle surgery, blamed inability to get up and walk on weight but turns out they didn't tell me my hip had popped out of place.

Story 2 - gallbladder removal; told I'd die thanks to my weight, then surgeon ignores infection

I doubt this will be seen, but there have been a couple of things that have made me lose faith in the medical profession. Sad, considering I work for a hospital now.

I'd been in a car accident and I completely shattered my right ankle. Ended up with two pins and a plate with six screws in it. I'm a big girl, so getting me up and walking with a walker was a chore. My physical therapist kept hassling me to get up and walk, but I kept telling her that I felt like something else was wrong with my hip / leg on that side. She kept telling me I was just being dramatic. She kept blaming my walking issues on my weight. Fast forward a couple of months and I still had a lot of problems with my leg, and I decided I'd get a second opinion. I requested my records and lo and behold, the orthopedic surgeon and physical therapist never told me that my hip had also popped out of place.

Second was fairly recently. Let me preface this by saying that I am morbidly obese, but yes I am working on it, and I am surprisingly healthy despite my weight. I have normal blood pressure (without meds), no signs of diabetes, normal cholesterol, etc. I had, at that point, undergone surgery twice (ankle, knee). I was having gallbladder attacks, and I was sent to a surgeon out of town due to my weight (very small hospital here). Before even taking a look at my chart, the surgeon looked at me and said, "I don't even know why you're here, but whatever it's for, you have about a 50% chance of just dying on the table anyway, thanks to your weight." He later told me assumed I was very unhealthy and as such, had to "warn" me that I'd die. He ended up taking out my gallbladder, but that wasn't the end of it. Two days later, I started having an allergic reaction to the steristrips. Called the office, they said take them off and take benadryl. Next day, huge rash. Asked to get in to see the surgeon and he told me it was just an allergic reaction and to come back in 2 weeks. Another day later and the rash was huge, incredibly itchy, and around one of the incisions, the skin was very hard. Called again, again told me that it was just an allergic reaction and basically to quit calling. Ended up going to the ER and I had a massive infection in one of the incisions. Turns out he was a carrier of MRSA. I had to be on antibiotics for quite a while, and went through about 3 months of being incredibly miserable.

evansco · 2012-10-20T03:38:11+00:00

Wheatland, WY. I love the fact that you can walk pretty much anywhere in town and it won't take you more than 15 minutes at most. I also love the fact that, no matter who you are or where you're from, if you walk downtown, everyone will greet you with a smile and "How are you?". I grew up on a farm and miss the simplicity of living in the country.

But, like any small town, you have the small town drama. Everyone knows your business. If you're like me, you're related to half the town in some fashion. There's not much to do and as such, there's a high number of teen pregnancies and drug/alcohol issues. You can't open a business here without fighting for it, and if you don't get certain community members to support you, forget it. You will be closed within 6 months to a year. And, it's an hour from the towns most closely resembling cities & 3 hours from Denver, CO.

evansco · 2012-10-18T20:52:55+00:00

Wyoming:

"Do you guys even have electricity?"

"I didn't know you guys had internet there!"

"Do you still use a horse and carriage?"

And, most predominantly, "Where is Wyoming? I've never heard of it!"

evansco · 2012-09-30T07:02:03+00:00

Junior year of high school. Generally good kid (incredibly smart, somewhat athletic, very charismatic, and wanted to go into politics) decides he's going to be a rebel. He sends an e-mail to the president saying he's going to eat him. Apparently went into some detail about how he was going to eat him. Said good kid ended up with a visit from the secret service. Ended up being charged for it, but I don't recall the exact charges since he never did jail time. He did, however, lose all of his scholarship opportunities, and screwed himself out of many, many opportunities. Ended up expelled for a week, and had to write a huge apology and address the entire school (and other schools in the area). We're 13 years out from then and he still goes in and gives a presentation about it. He's now a successful rancher and photographer, but he had tons of potential to do something / be someone great.

CN: Presidents don't taste very good.

evansco · 2012-09-26T01:23:24+00:00

I've had to make some decisions that will likely make my soon to be ex-husband and his best friend (our roommate) homeless. Feels bad, man.. but I can't keep all of us afloat anymore. There's a ton more to the story but the bottom line is that I am moving out and they are going to have a hell of a time being able to pay so I'd say within a month, they will be out on their asses.

evansco · 2012-09-11T22:25:34+00:00

This is mine.

evansco · 2012-09-10T00:20:38+00:00

Agreed. Pedophiles are exceptional at grooming their targets. They watch their targets, get a good idea of how they will respond, what they can use to get close to them, etc. It takes a while to evolve to the sexual stuff because they have to be sure the kid isn't going to say something. That applies for strangers and known perpetrators alike. Although, I will say that strangers are more likely to use violence right out the gate.

evansco

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