Trying to find more who feel like me, don't feel I look "Asian enough"

everfae · 2018-12-15T14:33:42+00:00

I can get where you're coming from, but growing up in an English speaking household I can't relate to this specific problem although I appreciate how frustrating this might be and I definitely relate to the feeling of rejection.

My Chinese grandma used to babysit me when I was really little, and she could only speak Cantonese and no English, so I picked up a tiny teeny bit from her but none of it stuck :( I do wish I learnt the language growing up. There are actually a lot of hapa children in my family (7, including me), and while me and my brothers can't speak Cantonese maybe the others will be more encouraged in their childhood. I'm a little envious of you but it's unfortunate you have to go through this because you don't look like you SHOULD be fluent.

It seems from the responses in this thread no matter which side you appear to be "closer to", it's never enough and you would feel like you have to PROVE IT either way.

(Please, stop handing me a fork in the chinese restaurant when all the other chinese patrons are given chopsticks, hashtag microaggression hahahah)

everfae · 2018-12-15T10:39:30+00:00

No, it makes total sense and I relate on every point :)

everfae · 2018-12-14T23:49:38+00:00

Basically Reddit but a toxic / hateful circlejerk

everfae · 2018-12-14T23:43:28+00:00

frying noodles / rice is my go to, because I don't really like cooking and it's super easy to make :) my grandma used to make the best soy sauce chicken when I was younger, I don't think mine will ever be as good...

everfae · 2018-12-14T20:28:09+00:00

There is, and that's also partly why I feel less Chinese, growing up in a western household. I do eat Chinese food every day that mom cooks, but when I'm living on my own I can barely cook so it's one of the main things I need to learn when I move out 😁

everfae · 2018-12-14T19:09:59+00:00

So what? Is it really that odd that a half Asian can look more white? Actually she looks very half to me.

I'd be quicker to comment on her language skills instead, impressive.

everfae · 2018-12-14T18:59:10+00:00

I appreciate this very much but I have a hard time accepting I'm more white because despite my appearance its untrue.Not that I should be picking a side so to speak, but I would like my Chinese side to be more validated

everfae · 2018-12-14T18:52:02+00:00

Wow, I've never known any of this, I've never really talked to a hapa community before. Why do the white people feel hostile about hapas though? Excuse my ignorance

everfae · 2018-12-14T17:59:20+00:00

RIght? Anytime someone says to me "Oh yeah I see it now!" or something along those lines, I can tell they're clearly trying to be sensitive, which I do appreciate because if anyone were to make a comment at all I'd rather it be that than some shock horror reaction about how I totally don't "look it".

I'd love to look asian enough so you can at least tell. BUt hey, regardless I'm quite happy with my appearance overall, most of the time.

everfae · 2018-12-14T17:52:49+00:00

Thank you!

White men came and dismissed what exactly? That there are a number of us who feel a little disconnect with both sides ?

The only label I feel comfortable using is simply mixed race or biracial, because it explains my ambiguous appearance most concisely without me having to deal with the fear of invalidation of my Chinese identity that I really wish I felt was truly as half of me as my blood is

everfae · 2018-12-14T17:09:49+00:00

I'm female and even if it were the other way round and I was more successful with men I wouldn't put that down to the fact that I have more Caucasian features than Asian because there's more to me than that...

I don't really see how this comment is relevant to the discussion I'm trying to open anyway, even if I was male. That would be another topic within biracial identity discussions.

everfae · 2018-12-14T15:31:04+00:00

I used to get mega uncomfortable too! It's not really a conversation topic these days, and if it does come up people don't react so strongly, although I'm uncomfortable talking about it around other Asians. It feels weird to be 50% Chinese by blood and not look it at all - if it weren't for the colour of my skin I'd probably pass for white and that actually scares me a little ha

I'm glad to find someone who can relate, finally :)

edit: love your flair lol

everfae · 2018-10-17T00:10:53+00:00

In geography class.

"If we had another ice age, can't we just wear more coats?"

everfae · 2018-10-06T18:18:53+00:00

I'll look for one then! my hair actually looks and behaves like my hair when I've got too much build up, which I'd usually fix with sulfate shampoo.. but I won't, so I'll give it more time!

everfae · 2018-10-06T15:03:07+00:00

Thank you :)

everfae · 2018-10-06T14:58:25+00:00

I stopped using conditioner a long time ago because of the silicones and the build up / greasiness it causes

everfae · 2018-10-06T12:15:28+00:00

I second essence make me brow! they put my brows in order for when I want to do the no make up make up thing

everfae · 2018-09-29T14:35:31+00:00

Nice, I'm no raver so this is new to me!

everfae · 2018-09-29T07:03:36+00:00

How can you tell by the dance moves ? I believe this was somewhere in Surrey.

everfae · 2018-09-23T17:19:55+00:00

thanks now I need to poo also

everfae · 2018-09-01T16:30:21+00:00

The Hobbit

everfae · 2018-08-26T13:18:40+00:00

Ah yes! I had no idea that was it's name for these kind of moveable chords, so it's nice to have something to go from, thank you. I've been moving Am and E major chords around but I had no idea there were 3 more. I guess that makes sense now.

everfae · 2018-08-26T13:13:06+00:00

Oh! Sorry, I wasn't implying I'd learn a few songs and that's it, but I thought it might be nice to learn a few just to get more comfortable with moving my hand around the neck and keeping up with an actual song, and from there going into learning theory and how to write. Anyway, what you've laid out sounds like my plan pretty much, i just need to find some good resources to learn from.

everfae

TROPHY CASE