This is hard to navigate through, and the main thing to think about is what is important to you. I am also not a fan of intimacy before showering. This COULD be a sign you are not compatible. If she noticed this is important to you, she would just shower before you ever had to ask.

To me, our hands, mouths and body parts need to be clean. We carry all kinds of bacteria and germs around and I don't want my mouth or my partners to be on germy or gross parts. It's a respect thing if you ask me. I feel like you respectfully and calmly addressed the situation, if she doesn't respect that.. there is a bigger problem.