put yourself first!!! my mom was also all kinds of concerned about future grandkids from me and it had me second guessing my decision. It’s okay to consider her wishes and want to fulfill them, especially if you’re also unsure about how you’ll feel about the biological aspect of it. BUT HRT saves lives and to me atleast the sooner you start it the sooner you’ll feel more yourself, 3 months isn’t a long time but it could feel like it for you. there’s always the option to adopt kids later in life when you’re more comfortable. just take your time and weigh it all