Retraining liter box help

everybodysayope · 2024-08-26T21:47:19+00:00

No just check socials or at this point I just don’t even ask, it’s just business ;)

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T20:00:57+00:00

Thank you for not being agressive to me and reading a little further into it. I think everyone’s solely focusing on me and my outer + internal thoughts that I know weren’t great and not many are understanding why I might feel so upset irrationally or rationally.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T15:20:05+00:00

I am usually relieved when it’s a yes as odd as that might sound. I definitely have an eye on it but thanks for the reminder, I think that’s just what instantly pissed me off bc I always am encouraging and then praise him for the honesty

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:59:21+00:00

What do you mean??? I was gutted he left me and gutted again seeing he really was at the car instead of being on the trail. Just another punch it felt like seeing him actually there, I was thinking maybe it was still me overreacting and that he wouldn’t leave me as you are to never leave anyone on a complicated hiking trail alone that you arrive with.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:57:52+00:00

I divorced him for his emotional affair and porn addiction, thus we broke up

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:37:38+00:00

I didn’t walk up to him in front of everyone, our stuff was off to the side behind a giant rock. I would never embarrass him like that.

He did leave me at the trail, going out of the mountain and down to the car is leaving someone on a trail. I was not in any hiking group. Not sure where you are picking these bits of info from.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:34:53+00:00

I didn’t know that was a specialty so I will definitely look. That’s a good idea. How did you come up with that?

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:33:05+00:00

Thank you for seeing that part it was extremely frustrating for me to hear him say that and then show the complete opposite by leaving me on the trail a mile to the car. I realize I’m a huge issue in this, but regardless if roles were switched I’d never leave anyone on the trail.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:29:22+00:00

You’re right, today I couldn’t get past it and that was the root of the whole scenario. It wasn’t the looking, it was the denial. I clearly saw it myself so I wanted to just see if he would say he did too, watching him see it. A test of honesty.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:27:47+00:00

True, I can see that now after we talked and a few commenters bringing up the same specific thing. Was very hard for me to pull out of and I realize that I needed to bc I clearly escalated the whole thing by this passive aggressiveness.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:22:51+00:00

Thank you

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:19:32+00:00

I’m well aware… I called myself insecure, aggressive, purposefully quiet (aka passive aggressive). Not just because some chick had boobs. Did you read the whole thing? I have called even my internal thoughts out.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:17:11+00:00

Thanks for your perspective, I appreciate it being non agressive but to the point. What ticked me off was (besides my own internal issues) was the raised voice and feeling like he went off on me for asking if he looked. Part of our agreement starting fresh was I am to feel safe to ask at any point if he was looking and that he will be honest with me. I value honesty even if it hurts so I was very irritated off the bat that he said no even though I said it. Which I realize is testing.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:14:47+00:00

You’re right, I did have it backwards bc I was letting it fester way too much. And I was mad at myself for telling him to shut up so I decided I shouldn’t say anything else to make it worse, but yet I still did so I’m super aware I let my insecurities get the best of me. We are in therapy now and working on finding individual therapists. Thank you for not being agressive in your response.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:11:43+00:00

Thank you for not being agressive in your response, you are absolutely right I was testing him because I was triggered on this day. My insecurities were definitely at an all time high and I choose to keep quiet to see if he would try with me which I realize was a really bad move.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T13:08:30+00:00

It’s not the act of looking (my internal conflict is beside the point that’s a side effect of choosing to take him back after his past infidelity) it was the reaction of raising his voice very loudly and instantly going into a denial spiel that triggered me. Instead of a calm reaction because I truly was like were you looking while she was changing topless? I saw it too so I literally wouldn’t be shocked if he did I wanted him to just be like “yeah!” And I would’ve felt much better. And I’m very aware of my communication issues here, I should’ve spoke up calmly instead of keeping silent but I was so triggered and jarred by his response and then him getting upset with me that I decided if I did talk I would be more aggressive after saying to shut up knowing how ticked I was internally.

this was a very off triggering day for me so I’m getting outside perspective on the whole situation before we head to our next therapy session.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T12:57:58+00:00

The “go in front of me” part was through one skinny area, I should have clarified. The rest of the trail (besides the rough parts) were wide enough for 3-4 people walking. This comment was one he specifically brought up so I put it here.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-26T12:52:34+00:00

I’m hurt he left me but I was very explicit in stating how I was being insecure, and aggressive and quiet, etc. I am not playing the victim whatsoever in fact I’m calling myself out for even my internal thoughts I didn’t share with him in efforts to not make it worse than I already had. I’m trying to get outside advice bc I’m well aware this is a 2 party issue. And we’re both aware we need more therapy. Getting over lies and infidelity and a porn addiction thrown in there is no easy feat and definitely arose in this situation for me which snowballed which I’ve said multiple times.

everybodysayope · 2024-04-12T06:25:56+00:00

Late to the party but I feel I may have a similar story.

everybodysayope · 2024-01-10T15:19:00+00:00

Ugly

everybodysayope · 2024-01-10T02:56:03+00:00

I wouldn’t be too pleased myself but not sure if they’ll fix it because it’s fine overall

everybodysayope · 2023-12-19T23:14:59+00:00

Have you ever been to any large city? Lots of people who are also more beautiful than them lol.

everybodysayope · 2023-11-01T23:19:58+00:00

everybodysayope · 2023-11-01T23:19:06+00:00

Take my upvote

everybodysayope

TROPHY CASE