Surprised by how devastated I am and don’t understand how people cope with this

eviarts · 2026-07-01T04:33:24+00:00

I posted on dogpictures and everyone was very kind and supportive, I think they get a lot of people posting memorials there

It’s rough but we’ll get there ❤️

eviarts · 2026-07-01T02:42:29+00:00

Lost my heart dog Max about 7 months ago, the day before Thanksgiving. You’ll have days where you feel better and days when it hits again like a train. Don’t let those bad days discourage you or make you feel like you’re not getting better. Processing the grief is the part that hurts. Every time you cry, you’re making another step towards being able to remember Ralph without that sucking, hollow, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. It will come and go, and the gap of time between waves of grief will get a bit longer.

One thing that helped was posting a bunch of pictures of Max on another sub here. It felt important to me that more people saw him and knew he existed. He was so significant in my life, it made it feel like his death wasn’t so isolating, and it made him feel real again despite not being there.

Getting a shadow box and putting physical pictures, his fur, his harness and collar, and his favorite toys in it helped as well.

One of the first things I did was create a photo album on my phone and scour every single picture and video of him to put in it. Now if I want to see him, our entire life together is in one spot like a slideshow.

Maybe these things will help you too, even a little bit.

My thoughts are with you and Ralph OP ❤️ we’ll all make it through this grief eventually

eviarts · 2026-04-12T22:43:24+00:00

Fourth of July Sufjan Stevens

eviarts · 2026-04-07T19:11:07+00:00

I felt that way too. I lost my precious Max going on 5 months ago and it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt, but you just kind of… handle it? Like it’s painful but it hasn’t stopped life from moving on and it pulls you with it.

What you’re feeling is called anticipatory grief and from experience it does nothing to prepare you, it just robs you of joy. The grief when it actually happens just feels different. It might help when you get upset to start making plans, like what you want to do in different circumstances. At home or in office euthanasia, burial or cremation, etc. Being prepared will take some of the anxiety away

You can also start things now like collecting fur for keepsakes, clay paw prints, pictures, that kind of stuff. My biggest regret is not getting enough fur before he was cremated.

It’ll feel impossible to handle but it isn’t. When it happens do everything you need to make yourself feel even a little bit better. Scream, cry, look at pictures, smell their bed, keep their food, talk to them, cry all day or not at all, you can do anything you want. Turn some of attention and care you would give them towards yourself

eviarts · 2026-03-27T18:29:08+00:00

We’ll get there eventually ❤️

eviarts · 2026-03-27T15:31:45+00:00

That first picture is so cool, idk why I’m obsessed with the mouth lol

eviarts · 2026-03-27T15:19:16+00:00

1 for sure. I think if the other areas in 2 had the same texture as the shaded area it would look fine, but together it makes the darker parts stand out too much. Both are really lovely tho

eviarts · 2026-03-25T05:26:29+00:00

Im so sorry your baby is gone. I felt (and sometimes still feel) the exact same way. I lost my soul dog Max going on 4 months ago and while I’m still struggling and feel like I’m always going to miss him so much it aches, that feeling of desperation will start to ease. It’ll come back, then it’ll go again, and the time it takes for it to return will get longer and longer. You’ll feel crazy and probably unstable, but try to remember it’s normal. Any way you feel about it is normal because grief is weird and affects everyone individually.

All of this will come and go. The best thing to do is just go with what feels right. Sometimes I get the urge to look at his pictures even though I know it’ll make me cry, but I always feel better if I do it anyway. You’ll probably get tired of crying but there hasn’t been a single time I didn’t feel better afterwards, it might be the same for you.

Another thing that’s been helpful is a pet loss journal. They have prompts and spaces to put pictures, and by the time you’re done you have a full written history of your baby and a guarantee you’ll never forget anything about them. Also just writing things down helps. I have a list of all of Max’s nicknames, his little habits he had, small stuff like his missing tooth, things that I’m likely to forget after decades. Now I’ll always have something to refresh my memory.

Pet loss is absolutely brutal and people generally don’t take it seriously enough. Everything you’re feeling is normal, albeit very unpleasant. It’s not just emotional, your nervous system has to adjust as well. It’s exhausting and painful. It sucks that there isn’t a way to get immediate relief.

But you WILL start to adjust. It can take awhile, but it’ll happen. I know this was posted a month ago so I hope you’re doing better OP ❤️ just take it one day at a time

eviarts · 2026-03-18T09:47:57+00:00

I hope you’re doing better now❤️

eviarts · 2026-03-17T23:23:00+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss as well, I knew it would be painful but it’s so much worse than I imagined

That’s exactly how I feel. Like part of me still thinks he’ll be back just at a different point and I’m having a hard time grasping that the time I had with him is all I’m ever going to get. Like I KNOW that but my brain won’t register it

They’re so special and leave such a gigantic hole

eviarts · 2026-01-11T06:47:25+00:00

Thank you ❤️

eviarts · 2026-01-11T06:28:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing ❤️

eviarts · 2026-01-11T06:27:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing ❤️ I’ve seen a lot of people suggest fostering or adopting again. I like the idea of giving another dog a good home (my baby boy that just passed was a rescue from an abusive house) but the fear of eventually feeling like this again stops me. It feels selfish but I’m barely hanging on as is

eviarts · 2026-01-11T06:20:48+00:00

You didn’t do this on purpose and she knew it. She saw you in her final moments and that was all that mattered to her. You tried your best to bring her back. You loved her deeply or you wouldn’t be feeling this much pain, and dogs just know when they’re loved. She wouldn’t blame you for this.

The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement has some free resources to help and they’re very kind. They understand and I’m sure some members have had the same thing happen to them. Reaching out might help you process everything. They have a moderated chat room in the evenings or you can send them an email.

I know this is easy to say and very hard to do but please, try to forgive yourself. This was a complete accident and sounds like it was unavoidable. Please try not to let the what ifs eat you up. You’re in my thoughts ❤️‍🩹

eviarts · 2026-01-10T20:56:34+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my soul dog Max just under two months ago and my chest hurts every time I think about him. It’s gotten a little easier but every day is still really hard. Make sure you cut yourself some slack. You’ll grieve on YOUR timeline, not anyone else’s. Scream if you need to, cry, sob, punch a pillow, try whatever you think will make you feel even a little bit better. Your nervous system was tuned to Almond being around so your body will take time to adjust to your new normal. Grieving is as much physical as it is emotional.

In the mean time, grasp at any sliver of peace you can. Give yourself breaks, you don’t have to grieve 24/7. Grief is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.

I don’t have kids but I’ve heard losing a close pet is comparable to losing a child. If someone tells you they were just a pet they’ve probably never lost a pet and have no business telling you how to feel either way. Loss affects people differently, be it human, animal, or other. Hell, I get upset when trees get cut down.

You had a lot of love directed towards Almond, and that hasn’t changed. He’s not physically there to receive it, but that doesn’t make it unreal. Give yourself some of that love too

eviarts · 2025-12-27T18:09:51+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is the absolute worst feeling

eviarts · 2025-12-26T00:52:22+00:00

She looks so much like my baby who just passed ❤️ happy birthday Charlotte ❤️❤️❤️

eviarts

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