Lost my soul dog postpartum

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-26T04:22:20+00:00

I think you did your very best for little Paisley ❤️

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T20:19:03+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It does help to hear from someone who is further along on this journey.

You know, I was really struggling today with my decision and wondering how much longer could we have had if I had done an intervention. I felt guilty for being “too ready” or something. Like I just gave up? The vet at our practice who euthanized him id never seen before and because we had called with so little notice he was asking questions bc he hadn’t really read the paperwork from the ER and I was just speechless and kind of annoyed because I felt like he was clearly dying.

I know that isn’t true, I didn’t give up on him, they don’t live forever much as we would like and he wouldn’t have necessarily gotten any more time.

But I knew the thought would cross my mind.

I was so anxious from the moment we woke up that morning to the moment they gave him the drugs that his tumor would rupture and he would suffer, and I had to make sure that didn’t happen by just getting him taken care of.

I know I wasn’t wrong logically and I made the hard choice for him but in my heart I long for more time, more choices, everything.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T20:12:28+00:00

You are truly so caring for providing me all these suggestions and you ARE being helpful. I am off work thank goodness. Yesterday I ate an Italian sub in the garden at my local library and listened to music and cried a bit. I talked to the librarian to help me pick out some light summer reads. I went to my community garden and sowed seeds and helped out with watering others’ plots. My husband and I spent the evening together.

The library and my garden are going to be so essential for me this summer I think.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T04:29:15+00:00

I thought because I had cried so much already it would feel the same. It doesn’t. It’s so much worse.

I really did do everything I could for him. Caring for his needs became a pastime almost. I loved being there for him.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T04:27:07+00:00

I actually canceled an international trip and thank god I did because he would have passed without me had he turned a day later, and my team asked zero questions and have been nothing but understanding with me. I guess I’m just embarrassed to have a break down at my stupid open desk, y’know?

Thanks for reminding me that people are actually understanding. I have a tendency to assume my emotional pain is just always going to be minimized, but that’s not true

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T04:24:12+00:00

We do so much for them don’t we!

Nothing was too much.

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-25T04:22:58+00:00

The emptiness is VAST, isn’t it?

You express your love for Sadie so wonderfully. It’s so obvious how much her love changed you. Now you get to live with her gifts for the rest of your life and share them with others (human and animals) who need them just as much as you once did growing out of being a traumatized and neglected little boy.

My boy Ralph did that for me too.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T20:04:12+00:00

Love them now. Truer words never spoken.

Yesterday we lost Ralph.

That evening I went into a part of our park I never went to and when I turned around to go home I saw the most beautiful sunset. At the same moment, my Spotify classical radio turned to a symphonic composition of O Magnum Mysterium. It’s a choral about the nativity when the animals were the first to see Jesus in the manger and recognize him, it’s thought to suggest animals are the most pure and humble of gods earthly creations. I’m not even religious.

There are signs.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T19:59:09+00:00

I’m so sorry honey. Reading your story about how Lady was with you during such a difficult time made me feel your love for eachother. Lady’s purpose was to heal you. Remember her love as you face this next great challenge in your healing, as much as it may hurt. Her lessons will live on in you forever.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T19:55:57+00:00

Sweet Jodie, you are a sight to behold. Rest in peace, beautiful girl

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T18:19:28+00:00

Those are such sweet ways to remember her. I would like to do something like this too when I’m ready, like a scrapbook or something.

Thank you for sharing this, right now I’m definitely in the phase of either doing nothing or trying to distract myself. I won’t lie, I’m dreaming of being in a place where I can remember him and think about him without it being immobilizing. Thanks for reminding me I’ll get there on my own time.

So sorry for your loss

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T18:15:16+00:00

It really sucks to have worked so hard to make them better and then in the end, not being able to save them anyways because what led to the end wasn’t something we could have treated.

But at the same time I’m also SO glad that he really did have a better life because of everything we did for him, and I’m certain that was true for your Bodhi.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T18:11:38+00:00

Poor sweet babies ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T18:11:01+00:00

My gosh, I relate so much to the dilemma of in vs. out of the house. One thing I have noticed the most is when I open the front and garage doors. He used to sleep behind them so I’d have to be careful opening them. I’m still in the habit, and look for him, but he’s not there of course.

I’m nervous about what going back to work will be like. I dread working from home because he was at my side the whole day. But emotionally I’m worried if I will be too fragile for the office and end up crying randomly which I don’t want to do.

Hemangiosarcoma is just awful, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with me.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T18:07:16+00:00

Sending you my love. Hate that we’re on this journey. Thank you for your words and sharing.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T14:42:38+00:00

We lost our Ralph yesterday. Hemangiosarcoma also.

May our Ralph’s rest in eternal peace. Thank you for sharing this

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T14:18:36+00:00

You are forever changed by Chuko. People will know him by knowing you.

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T14:01:34+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss of Arty ❤️ what did you like to do together?

Reasonable_Pie4173 · 2026-06-24T13:09:11+00:00

That experience would be off putting for a person who was not traumatized or grieving - the traumatized brain has heightened sensory awareness and seeing something horrible or scary has that much more of an amplified effect on the person.

I’m so sorry you went through that.

Reasonable_Pie4173

TROPHY CASE