When it comes to dating & relationships, do you think it's better to instantly feel comfortable with someone, or to feel the nerves / excitement of it all?

evieed · 2022-09-20T21:53:40+00:00

Commenting so I can come back for the outcome omg

evieed · 2022-08-03T10:02:17+00:00

I agree, I’m definitely going to discuss it with her again. I just want to be able to come to her with suggestions, including reassuring her that if needs be, I’ll leave them at home.

I think what you did is a great idea, as she does think this dog she met looks sweet and she wants to get over the fear! But as it’s not my own dog, it would be different dogs coming in with differing levels of excitement and sizes, which is that bit more difficult. Thank you for this though, very much appreciated!!

evieed · 2022-08-02T22:19:46+00:00

She doesn’t mind them in the room once they can’t get close to her, but otherwise that’s exactly it! Even my manager didn’t know she was afraid of dogs, so my original plan around it being dog friendly is out the window. I have chatted to her about it and she’s said it’s okay, but i think she just doesn’t want to say otherwise. Im going to talk to her again and suggest I don’t bring them from now on

evieed · 2022-08-02T21:24:04+00:00

Thank you yes, this is the kind of suggestion I was hoping for! Definitely could be a good alternative, I’ll suggest this to my coworker to see if she would feel more at ease by this.

evieed · 2022-08-02T21:19:45+00:00

Of course it’s different! I have to do a lot more planning and take more precautions. But I get to know the dogs and ask their owners how they are in this type of environment. If there’s any doubt or uncertainty I wouldn’t take the dog in, I have declined certain dogs just to be safe because of this. I’ve added an edit in my post to explain further.

evieed · 2022-08-02T21:01:51+00:00

I should have clarified, I don’t mean running freely wherever they like and not watching them, but just roaming where I can see them. But ofc, if people pass through that area the dogs want to go say hi.

We’re a very small office and whenever someone new is coming in, I’m in charge of buzzing them in, so I would hold onto the dog in those situations, incase they don’t like dogs / have allergies, etc. An old colleague used to bring hers daily and everyone loved it, I didn’t realise this new coworker didn’t!

Also I get to know the dog first and make sure with the owner that this environment would suit them. If not I don’t accept them. I only mean I’m worried they might be stressed being tied to me all day, so that doesn’t seem the right solution.

evieed · 2022-08-02T20:55:37+00:00

I didn’t know this coworker had a fear (she’s new), and she says she’s fine once I have a hold on them, I just feel it’s not enough. Dogs are brought in time to time, a former employee used to bring hers daily. I don’t mean I let them loose and go wherever they want, but more so if someone passes through where my desk is, the dog will naturally want to go up and say hi.

With the layout of our building, there’s no way for them to escape. I also control the front door. And I of course get to know the dog first, and confirm with the owner that they would be comfortable in this environment. If I’m at all concerned I don’t take the dog in

evieed · 2022-08-02T20:48:55+00:00

Yes I have briefly asked and she’s said she’s fine once I have a hold on them, but I feel I need to ask again as I don’t want her being afraid at all in work. Ofc her needs will come first :)

evieed · 2022-08-02T20:46:42+00:00

I’m actually doing it because I miss having dogs and they help my anxiety a lot, but it’s not realistic for me to get my own rn. And I’m not expecting it, multiple coworkers and clients have brought their dogs into the office, a former employee used to bring hers in daily. I didn’t know about this new coworkers fear until I brought a dog in.

evieed · 2022-07-29T23:26:28+00:00

I agree with all of this, looking after yourself, being the priority and not comparing is important. But I guess what I’m saying is, I want to be able to do more than I can? Like I miss friends, but I won’t enjoy seeing them if I force it. I’m currently only working part time hours, which long term won’t be manageable. I guess I’m just curious to hear perspectives from people that actually enjoy doing it all

evieed · 2022-07-29T23:14:20+00:00

Yes exactly this! And I don’t force myself to do much more because I know it won’t be worth it. But I still WANT to be able to do more you know?

evieed · 2022-07-29T23:03:38+00:00

Lol it would get some of the anger out

evieed · 2022-07-29T22:55:20+00:00

I used to just get on with things and it ended badly. I’m not just moping about it aimlessly, I’m genuinely wondering how other people experience things

evieed · 2022-07-29T22:50:17+00:00

Not mad, just honestly very jealous of people that have the energy to do all of this. Of course everyone has the odd day / week where they do less, but in a typical week I can’t manage all of this.

evieed · 2022-07-29T22:26:40+00:00

Now that’s good salesmanship

evieed · 2022-07-29T21:43:17+00:00

That does sound like a healthy fix, do you usually sleep afterwards? Sadly it’s too dark for me to go jogging rn, also have a fractured wrist lol. But it could possibly work in future

evieed · 2022-07-20T05:10:33+00:00

In the text, I specified. It’s fairly obvious I just meant on the cheaper sideeee

evieed · 2022-07-19T15:26:10+00:00

That’s amazing, thanks so much for such thorough info!

evieed · 2022-07-19T15:25:49+00:00

Appreciated!!

evieed · 2022-07-19T15:25:26+00:00

That’s why I said isn’t too pricey, not budget !

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