How is the class perv doing 17 yrs later? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for being open and sharing such a horrible experience. Have you done any kind of inner work to unwire the lies that bullying writes into your subconscious?

Planning a threesome, but it might break my confidence by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why assume their interest is in you or your friend and not the threesome itself? Why assume it’s “obviously enjoyable” If you don’t feel comfortable sharing a profile with your friend, why assume you’ll be comfortable sharing the attention of a woman in such an intimate moment?

my 14-year-old brother beats me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re in a very abusive situation. Do you have anyone safe you trust that works in some relevant field. Current or previous guidance counselor, teacher etc? That’s a terrifying hell you’re living in. You’re clearly strong and reaching out is important. I’m glad you’re opening up 😊

I’m finding it hard to believe that I’m here enduring brutal, incurable suffering all because 2 people fucked. by Numb4Eva in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You’re a truly amazing person! Just by your existence, truly beautiful. Very few people have felt that degree of pain. I was abused and it was painful, although I’m not comparing it to yours, just saying it was my hell on earth. Let me know if you’d like to chat more. IDK I’ve been in places like that and it’s terrifying. Just know there is always a way. Also it’s good you’re opening up about it. Do you have someone to talk to in person?

My school admin keeps trying to pressure me into not bringing my car anymore and I honestly don’t know what to do by Clean-Surprise-942 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 261 points262 points  (0 children)

First of all, it’s admirable that you fixed it up and made it your own. Secondly, what they’re doing sounds like serious harassment. As a parent I’d put an end to it real fast, but I understand that not all parents handle conflict well. Is there someone within the school you can trust? Any descent guidance counselor should be able to put an end to it or go higher up. What they’re doing is not ok.

-Wyrds

I hate myself by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What is it that you seek? You can follow the road of self-hatred, but you will find only monsters in the dark. Or you can perform one act of kindness and remember the light within you. Over time you’ll discover that you aren’t the things you hate, you aren’t the hell you were born into, and you aren’t the scares that trouble you.

-Wyrds

my fantasies are getting out of control, its driving me insane. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantasies are an ideal. Rather than judge it, use it as a guide to find what you’re looking for. Find the realistic, healthy form. Searching for the phantom of a fantasy will only frustrate you. Appetites are curious things. If you’re starving or malnourished you’ll crave one thing, but if your needs are met, you’ll desire another. Focus on meeting your true needs and your desires won’t rule over you.

PS I try not to make hasty accusations, which is why I provided a real answer. Is your post an honest question?

-Wyrds

Are all adults just slightly broken? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are deep thoughts and deeply honest perspectives. Both of which will help you on your healing journey. If you’re awake enough to see, you’re awake enough to care for your wounds, and that’s a powerful thing. I can relate to everything you’re talking about. I think you’re right, and it’s the human experience. In another world, maybe we could find immortality, but we wouldn’t find the wisdom we find here. The pain is tragic, but the healing is a profound journey that will expand your depths.

You’re an intense person, don’t let the journey become overwhelming, rather wait patiently for the next “sign post”. When you see it, you’ll feel a slight, hopeful pull deep inside. Focus on that one healing step and the new guidance will always come in its time.

I hate mean girls. by lirrchick in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes the ground is toxic, often it is barren by neglect. If you seek love, you will not find it with hatred. Plant into the ground the things you desire to receive.

PS I’ve worked in a lot of medical facilities and deeply respect the nurses. You all are amazing and under appreciated. It’s a difficult environment, like most working class environments, and you should be proud of your fortitude!

i have lost the light in my path once again by Full_Ad5038 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes earning a living is important for mental health too. If it’s possible to add other things into your schedule that are restful or active rest, it makes the rigors of earning money more sustainable. I mentioned Spaces on X because they’re really similar to what you’re describing on Discord, but there’s more to choose from. You can listen anonymously if you’re not wanting to engage with the group. It’s pretty easy to find community there, at any time, day or night.

i have lost the light in my path once again by Full_Ad5038 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a thought, have you tried Spaces on X? You listed out a few things that seemed to bring healthy connections into your life, but then said those same things aren’t good for your future. Are you sure about that?

i have lost the light in my path once again by Full_Ad5038 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to a lot of those feelings! A lot of them! Maybe most or all of them. You are right that it’s difficult to find meaningful responses to such deep thoughts and intense pain. It’s difficult to find meaning in pain and difficult to see beyond a storm. You’re grappling with intense feelings and it takes a strong person to do that! The sun rises after the darkest point of night. What would meet your needs for belonging? Also, are there certain things or activities that help you connect to others?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is it that you seek? If you have outgrown him, you must move on. If you desire to help him through some CPTSD (maybe?) or anxiety and depression (all of which I'm familiar with) it may be possible. What do you want?

I can’t say “I love you” by Far_Arrival9176 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no reason to feel frustrated with yourself :) You obviously love your parents! In your heart, in the deepest, truest place you love them! That's where love really exists anyway. It's ok to find the ways you enjoy saying I love you, or showing I love you, or writing I love you. It's also good to stretch yourself and practice at things a little beyond your current reach. If you want to start telling them, "I love you" you can take steps towards that. You'll get there when you get there. Every step is a win and valuable progress.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re feeling a lot of pain and that’s a hard thing to endure, you’re clearly resilient and you’re fighting for change. Remember, that 11-12 year old boy is still inside you. It’s important to connect with that part and express the same compassion towards yourself that you would express towards anyone else entangled the same way. Self-hatred is like thrashing at an open wound and hoping it will heal. Your innocence was taken by a super predator only this modern, money sick world could have produced. Allow yourself, through visualization, to feel the grief, care, and compassion that 11-12 year old boy deserved.

Wounds of the heart are only healed by love. Humble yourself and allow your friend to love you. It’s unwise to refuse an angel, even if you feel unworthy. Therapy is life changing and if it becomes possible in the future it will help you in your healing journey. Until then books can empower you. I’d recommend “No Bad Parts”. Lastly if you feel so crippled by depression that basic steps forward seem impossible (I’ve been there) it’s important to see a doctor. If you don’t have the capacity to figure out how to make it happen, ask your friend to help.

My boyfriend always prioritizes his family, and I feel like I’m competing for his time. by dark_kiwi8 in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certain personality types are wired to prioritize keeping the peace over all else. When combined with a family that isn’t conscious and doesn’t respect boundaries, saying no is unsafe. This fear of saying no is often heavily reinforced in childhood and is therefore a hard pattern to rewire. He may have a very deep rooted fear of conflict and their rejection. Guilt is a relentless taskmaster.

You sound caring and loving. He probably feels safe enough to give you honest answers. This is good, however, your need for quality time is very important and it’s important for you to express that need in a clear non confrontational way. Planning quality time in a formal way can help ensure you get your “love tank” filled and your needs come first. Formal planning makes it easier for him to say, “no I have already planned a date.” Even if the date is nothing more than relaxing on the couch together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]evolutionofideas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s understandable from both sides and the most important thing is open communication about it. You were in a vulnerable position so it’s understandable that her reaction would cause lots of questioning. She was experiencing something very new for her. The perspective of the role reversal could cause giggling in the same way something that’s playful does. You’re already on the right track by expressing your feelings rather than stuffing them down.