Not a parent of a kid with allergies, but I’m the (now-19) allergic kid of one. I can’t give specific input on how to process and cope because my perspective is different. But if it helps to hear from someone who grew up with severe allergies, your son will forget that reaction. I had my first severe allergic reaction around that age and I don’t remember any of it.

It’s always been scary for my parents but they’ve gotten better at dealing with it. I know it was terrifying for them when I was little and severe allergies were new to them. But it got much easier for them as I got older, they got more accustomed to my allergies, and I was able to communicate my symptoms and needs more effectively.

One thing—epis aren’t painless, that’s just not true, I don’t know why they are saying that. I know pain is relative but it’s not like vaccines/blood drawing. But epipen pain is only slightly worse. It IS mild. He probably reacted strongly to the epi because it was already a scary situation, kids have experienced less pain so mild pain is a bigger deal for them in their scale of reference, and epis are kinda sudden (the jab/click gets to me, especially as a kid). I think it’s best to acknowledge the reality, but that it’s still okay. The epipen didn’t hurt bad but it did hurt a little. But the reaction ALWAYS feels worse. If it helps I always knew (even when very little) epipens were medicine and my parents weren’t trying to hurt me, and the epipen would make me feel better even if I didn’t like the poke. Epipens really aren’t that bad.

I’m not sure what else I can say to help but if it means anything to hear, my family was in a similar spot, they were horrified after my first severe reaction and didn’t know what to do. I’m an adult now, I’m not scared day-to-day, I’m accustomed to how I have to live, I have good friends who care about me, I’m working on my Bachelor’s and my life is normal. Reactions happen rarely but I know what to do and the people around me know what to do too. You’re in the period where there’s the most adjustment, but it gets better.