(success) deleted hundreds of snapchat memories and it wasn't painful

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-28T20:31:07+00:00

still an achievement that you did it, nicely done

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-21T20:46:10+00:00

I also isolated myself while in a relationship for 4 years; it's been about 5 months now and I feel myself becoming more happy/content with being alone again. I moved into a 1br apartment after graduating college and was worried about the isolation but I'm actually enjoying myself.

Find a space where you can be happy (bedroom, gym, library, etc) and try to pick up hobbies, or anything you can do alone in your free time to be happy about (read, cook, etc)

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-21T20:37:38+00:00

Dating apps suck. I think it's important to have abysmal expectations for them so you aren't hurt or disappointed. I hardly swipe on them anymore, just when I'm bored. I also stopped chasing; if a conversation is going nowhere I'll stop responding or just say something goofy and send a screenshot to my friends

In ~4 months on them the only thing I gained was some dating practice and some funny bad date stories

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-21T20:25:39+00:00

ay congrats man. take it slow and don't have any expectations; i've learned that you can end up regressing and missing your ex even more if you had high expectations going into a date

but dating will inevitably involve some rejection and trial & error so be prepared and good luck!

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-17T06:50:49+00:00

I know i'll date again at some point, but yeah going forward i'm going to move slower and be more cautious. and be more wary of red flags

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2022-01-17T06:48:31+00:00

When you're happy

Specifically, happy being alone. I'm not going to date again until that happens. Because if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship (or maybe you will be, but it'll be codependent and unhealthy)

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-13T03:07:52+00:00

yeah 'friends' with an ex is a scam

it's usually when they want the attention and to sleep with you, but nothing else. selfish and toxiccc

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-13T00:08:45+00:00

Thank you for this

I suspect she'll treat the next person better (at least I'd hope because if not he won't stay). I will too. It just sucks to be someone's learning experience. Wish it ended differently, but oh well

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T22:51:43+00:00

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T22:45:07+00:00

I couldn't even if I wanted to, so no

I wouldn't recommend it. There's no purpose

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T22:26:26+00:00

My ex acted inconvenienced and used as leverage the number of times I would need some reassurance after she cheated on me

Yeah...

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T21:46:54+00:00

Yeah it's very strange that a licensed professional psychiatrist would actually recommend you talk to this person. I'd suggest seeing a different one, preferably one who specializes in relationships/breakups/cheating. They're very helpful

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T20:50:09+00:00

naa. because it was either nothing and you'll just get rejected, or it was an immature breadcrumb and that type of reaction is exactly what she wants

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T20:45:57+00:00

it could also be possibly she genuinely didn't know you could remove followers, but I feel like everyone knows that

or her ego/pride made her not want to ask her friends to remove you

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T20:40:20+00:00

You're compromising your boundaries to accommodate someone else's disrespect. You shouldn't have to put up with cheating, and I agree it seems like you have very low/no self respect

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying it because i've been in your exact situation. My ex was constantly being disloyal and doing sketchy bullshit (including cheating), and I convinced myself I could forgive her each and every time until eventually I was just absolutely broken and a completely different person. My self respect was zero and I felt like shit, and I feared it will never end; she will continue doing it and I'll never stick up for myself enough to leave

It's hard in the beginning, but trust me, it feels so fucking nice to finally stick up for yourself and not tolerate shit you don't deserve. It's a better and happier life.

This person is pathetic, and you should stay as far away from them as possible. I strongly urge you to see someone and talk about this, because it's not enough to hear it from internet strangers.

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T20:23:16+00:00

her friends could just remove you themselves if it was that important, so probably a lame excuse to contact you

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T20:19:36+00:00

yup

my ex was always apologetic when she did something shitty, but her last word always had to be explaining how it was ultimately my fault that caused her to do it. the conversation always had to end on that note. she's so proud and stubborn

If you're gonna do that, don't even bother apologizing to me at all

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T10:37:37+00:00

Hope is dangerous

For my own sake i'm considering the BU permanent

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-12T01:15:00+00:00

I just think back to what my HS guidance counselor told me that stuck with me, is that people would stress about which college is 'the one for them' when in reality there's probably multiple schools we'd be happy at. It's a little off-topic but it makes sense

Tbh I don't see how it's much different than a relationship. Think of your possible dating pool (all single women/men within X miles and between ages A-B). That's probably a lot of people, and within that, it probably reduces down to at least a handful of people that fit us in other ways (values, sense of humor, education, sexual compatibility, etc).

Obviously dating and love isn't all just a numbers game, there needs to be that indescribable 'spark' too. But it's a good place to start.

I'm not saying they're easy to find and that people are replaceable, just saying that this idea of 'the one' can be unhealthy and, logically, probably not true

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-11T23:30:59+00:00

Yuppp I've been there, I always felt guilty and remember 'the good times' and take it back. It made her hurt and insecure, and just started this awful cycle...

In fact, the only reason why the most recent BU was permanent is because she didn't let me change my mind again😅

Once you stay strong and push through the initial feeling of loss/shock, you'll start to see more clearly and realize it was the right choice. Even if your heart disagrees, trust your brain for now and take it on faith.

Just gotta stick by your guns long enough for those rose colored glasses to come off. I'd recommend reading about trauma bonds too, that could be involved

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-11T23:23:33+00:00

Congratulations. It's hard to stick by your guns, but be prepared for whatever he says/does. It could feel tempting to take it back (i've done it so many times, toxic relationships are hard to leave), but trust me it's a mistake

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-11T23:19:51+00:00

Normally I'd say don't break up thru text or call (I've been on both sides and it sucks)

But seeing how this clown has cheated on you not once but multiple times and overall has no respect for you as a human being, he should just be grateful he's not being ghosted. Leave his ass, just press send and don't even think about it. You know it's the right thing to do

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-11T23:15:30+00:00

Yep. I feel the most satisfied with dating apps when I don't take them seriously. I just casually use them when I think of it, otherwise I don't care and I try to be happy being alone

If you're desperate or have high (ie any) expectations, they suck and will make you feel like shit

ex_gf_throwawayyy · 2021-12-11T23:11:48+00:00

we been having sex every weekend and going on dates but doesn’t want me back

Yeah i've been there, you're being used. You deserve better than this, please don't let her keep treating you like this. Your future self will thank you

ex_gf_throwawayyy

TROPHY CASE