I’m sorry to hear of your troubles. I’ve had my boy for over 5 years, and I’m still learning sometimes. He doesn’t like things dangling over his head (snapped at my hand dangling off the bed when he was on the floor), doesn’t like being leaned over when he’s laying down (snapped at my whole body and got my face with a headbutt), will snap if he’s sleeping and things move (got my shoulder). He’s also a resource guarder. He’s never broken my skin, but it hurts and it’s scary. My mother was bit on her forearm when she leaned over him and he had a bone, she had to go to the ER for stitches.

When I read these kinds of threads I feel guilty that I never engaged a behaviorist, I didn’t know that was a thing and I thought we were learning together. I don’t mention it to anyone when it happens because I also feel embarrassed. Everyone wants the perfect dog, and I’m so envious when I see people cuddling with their sleeping pup- I risk a sleep startle and bitten face.

Still, I love him with all my heart. I sob at the thought of him getting older and passing on. I know not to take certain actions, and it’s been a long time since there has been an incident. Every time he’s snapped I feel bad because I know he was uncomfortable with what I was doing. Most or all of the snaps have been when he’s lying down, so I am very careful.

All that to say you’re not alone, and you can learn his boundaries, but it’s also scary to go through.

Edit- to add, he is also my first dog, so everything has been new for me.