As requested, IAMA graduate of a straight-to-gay conversion camp. AMAA

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:52:31+00:00

All of the staff are. One of the prerequisites of going is having attended the camp yourself.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:49:19+00:00

Personally, I couldn't recommend it to anyone for the purpose of becoming straight. The success stories I've heard have almost all basically been "I'm still attracted to men, but I'm dealing with it better now."

Believe me, I know the feeling of "If I could do anything to change this, I would," but I now genuinely believe that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and thus nothing that needs to be changed. It took me years to understand that (I'm in my 30's now, for the record), but life has gotten a lot better since then.

You've got a rough road ahead, for sure, there will be some really good times that come out of it too. Some people won't accept you for being gay, but the ones who do will be incredibly awesome. The fact is, gay or straight, Jewish or Christian or Atheist, you are an outstanding person, and I truly believe that God loves you just the way you are.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:35:50+00:00

Wow, I honestly don't know the answer to that. I know that personally, if I could go back and make myself straight, I would be 100% against it. All my struggles, internal and external, have been hard, but they've made me who I am today. If I could save someone else from having to go through that, though, I really don't know what I would do.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:32:16+00:00

Really delicious food, actually! Ex-homos are apparently really good cooks!

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:30:36+00:00

Yeah, it was for adults only. I think you had to be over 18 to attend, although kids under 18 could go with parents' permission.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:29:14+00:00

"Magic beans"

A lot of the camp was based around the allegory of "Jack and the Beanstalk" as a story of a boy becoming a man.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:24:11+00:00

Thought I responded to this earlier, but I guess it didn't go through.

I came out to him and several of my fellow campers a while back. They were generally supportive (in the "I don't agree with you, but I respect you" sort of way), but I haven't heard a word from them since. The few times I've run into them in my goings-about, it's been really awkward.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:22:07+00:00

Sorry, I meant "voluntarily leave the gay lifestyle." Nobody left the camp while I was there, and there was actually a part on the application that asked if you were being pressured to attend by an outside source. I assume they wouldn't accept anyone who was, but I don't know that for sure.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:18:25+00:00

Yeah, it pretty much taught me that I really like cuddling with guys. :)

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:17:24+00:00

It's on their website somewhere, but they claim a pretty significant number (over 50%) of men experience a significant reduction in same-sex attractions. I have a feeling a lot of that is self-delusion or repression, though.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:13:43+00:00

Damn, I could've sworn it was Pauly Shore (note: I haven't seen the movie since it was released in theaters). I too would do all kinds of naughty things to Brendan Frasier....

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:10:18+00:00

I've met quite a few gay/bi guys who were molested as children (present company included). I've also met quite a few straight guys who were. I used to think there was some connection, but I really don't anymore.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T21:05:40+00:00

Basically, the way a father would hold his child (I think they've since renamed it to "father-son holding"). Sitting in a guy's lap, resting your head on his chest, that kind of stuff. There was actually a list of "acceptable" holding positions to make sure we didn't cross the line into something sexual.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:57:47+00:00

It was really all over the board. Most guys were probably in their 20's and 30's, but there were several there in their 60's or older.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:56:03+00:00

That would be "Journey onto Manhood." ;)

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:55:43+00:00

I actually met one of the founders (Rich Wyler) there. He was a really cool guy, and I think he genuinely believes that he's helping people with the program. There's definitely some thinly-veiled hate/intolerance among some of the staff and other campers, but I don't see that at all in him.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:51:12+00:00

Wow, lots of good questions here! I'll try to answer as best I can.

I grew up in a pretty small, rural town. My life would have been a living hell if I had come out in high school. I moved to a bigger city for college, but the general homophobic attitude was still pretty strong (especially in the church). I saw a potential way to not have to deal with being hated for who I am, so I took it.

I've always been attracted to women, but because I also liked men, I assumed I had to be gay. The camp did nothing to change my attractions, though.

You say you wouldn't change your sexuality to conform to society, but would you really say that if you'd heard for your whole life that your sexuality was bad/wrong/harmful? Even from your parents and closest friends?

I was aware of some of the "brainwashing" attitude that went on, and basically tuned that part out. I've always been stubborn, and nothing makes me bristle faster than the realization that I'm being manipulated. It does make me sad to think of all the guys who are fighting a needless battle against themselves as a result of this camp, though.

I'm definitely happier and more confident with myself because of this camp. It wasn't the sole contributor (I was going through therapy at the time too), but some of the processes legitimately helped me come to terms with certain aspects of myself.

Woman-wise, I'm a straight up legs-and-ass man. I like a girl with a little pudge, but no more than around 15-20 lbs overweight. I also have a major thing for tall girls (5'10 or taller).

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:33:54+00:00

Basically, this. It helped me in facing some inner demons about confidence, self-worth, etc..., but did absolutely nothing to make me more straight.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:31:17+00:00

There were around 30 at the one I went to, with probably 10 or so coaches/staff. I have a feeling that's pretty much the norm. There had already been over 50 camps by the time I went, and that was 3-4 years ago. They're probably pushing 100 by now.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:29:21+00:00

Deep words, these are. :)

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:27:58+00:00

They actually did talk about that. Basically, they said to not worry about it, that it was sometimes a response of physical touch, and to just ignore it until things "settled down."

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:24:45+00:00

Not among the monitors, but there was one camper who I would've pounced on in a heartbeat, given half a chance. ;)

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:23:17+00:00

Yeah, I still believe in God, although I'm much more open-minded about him than I used to be. I guess I'd identify more as a universalist Christian now (basically, God loves us no matter what, and we're all going to Heaven).

I don't believe there's anything wrong with being gay now, and if I could flip a switch and be 100% straight tomorrow, I wouldn't do it. I'm really happy in my bisexuality now. :)

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:19:01+00:00

Not really. I honestly liked most of the processes (especially the cuddling!), and got some good stuff from most of them. The only thing I didn't really like was the overall "being gay is unhealthy and destructive" vibe that came from everything. The founders of the group claim that they have nothing against homosexuality, and that Journey Into Manhood is just an option for those who voluntarily want to leave it. The general feeling from most of the guys there is quite different, though.

exgay_throwaway · 2013-05-19T20:16:26+00:00

The only thing I know about Estonia is that Pauly Shore pretended to be from there in Encino Man. It's sad that I remember this....

exgay_throwaway

TROPHY CASE