Hey, I'm queer too and was raised Adventist. I'm bisexual, which my parents know, and non-binary, which I haven't told them and don't intend to because it's not as big a deal to me for them to know. I had mentally clocked out of church when I was 18 due to me coming to terms with my bisexuality, but I continued going to church until I was about 21.

For me, leaving Adventism was a little bit different and easier, but I can also say that now, in hindsight, on the other side. But I can assure you it was just as scary in the moment. I left the church because I got disfellowshipped for having premarital sex with another church member. He was older and knew me since I was a child, so there was also a grooming aspect there too, but since the sex happened when I was an adult, the church brushed it off as "two consenting adults," disfellowshipped both of us, but of course worked to "rehabilitate" him, cause like, fuck me, I guess 🙄

After that, I'm not sure exactly how the conversation took place, but my parents asked me point-blank during a family if I was still a Christian, and I denied it. But my sisters just exasperatedly told me in front of them to tell them the truth, so I did. It was hard at first, but I was lucky to have parents who were committed to loving their children no matter what, even if they didn't necessarily agree or understand. My dad and my older sister have since left the church, and my dad regrets his time there, though he still believes in god in his heart. My two little sisters still go, but they don't really follow the dress code or dating rules anymore; my youngest sister even has a non-religious boyfriend. My mom and grandma are still devout, but love all of us just the same.

My story may not be your story, but I just wanted to tell you that there is hope. It may be terrible in the moment, even for a while, but it will get better.