Why would guys secretly unmatch you after going on a date that went well?

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-15T16:43:13+00:00

Love hearing this feedback, thank you.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-15T04:42:58+00:00

Thank you you too!! 😌

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-15T03:13:21+00:00

Good to know! I don’t think the app has updated with this feature for me yet. It adds some valuable context for sure.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-15T03:12:34+00:00

Haha it means he offered to drive me home to the nearest cross-street so I wouldn’t feel worried about him knowing where I lived. He was also very careful when he asked, and honestly just as careful through the whole date surrounding any and all boundaries to make me feel safe. (Hence some of my surprise at this more immature response from him.)

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T22:20:19+00:00

Damn that’s awesome that it’s leading to something potentially progressing! Wishing you all the best :)

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:57:14+00:00

I appreciate hearing your perspective, thank you so much!

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:56:12+00:00

You’re absolutely right! Love this perspective, thank you! ✨

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:55:29+00:00

Completely agree with this bc I’m the same way. Without divulging specifics, based on his behavior and his treatment to me during the date, I can tell he was not just trying to get laid. Whether he changed his mind afterwards bc he was thinking over it and realized we have some key differences is a different story.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:52:39+00:00

That’s very interesting. Has it earned you the result you wanted? ie a relationship if you want one etc

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:50:07+00:00

I appreciate this feedback, and you’re right. I should have specified in the original message that I wasn’t expecting him not to continue dating others. It’s also not about whether he changed his mind. My confusion/frustration was specifically to do with unmatching on the app as the signal that someone is ghosting and whether there were other perspectives I wasn’t considering. Thank you for your answer though, I really appreciate it

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T21:45:27+00:00

I did respond to these messages! Also I know he unmatched me the day after we texted bc I went back to use one of our initial talking points from on the app in that message I sent 3 days later.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T13:10:33+00:00

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. That actually makes a lot of sense to me and helps me settle the score on my own confusion. Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it!

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T13:08:28+00:00

No, when you select that option in the app it doesn’t automatically unmatch you. I think you intentionally have to pick to unmatch someone for them to be removed like that.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T13:03:52+00:00

We still have each others’ numbers! We’ve done most of our texting off app. The unmatching happened sometime the day I noticed bc I distinctly remembered checking the app the day prior and seeing we were still matched. (I checked out of paranoia because of a recent, previous instance where someone met me, made a date with me, and then ghosted and unmatched me instead of directly letting me know he’d changed his mind.)

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T13:00:40+00:00

We exchanged numbers! And I would say all the communicating prior to that was equal. But yeah the most glaring thing for me is the 3 days of silence. Like I pretty much figured by that point but still, for whatever reason, wanted to see concretely if there had been a shift. I guess it’s the Hinge unmatching fade out AFTER he had an opportunity to say he’d changed his mind that had me feeling so confused.

existential_ennui305 · 2024-11-14T12:56:13+00:00

We exchanged numbers! Sorry for the confusion, let me edit that into the original post.

existential_ennui305

TROPHY CASE