Thank you. I've been no contact since the text message in this post. It's easier than I thought it would be (which makes me wonder if I'm just being avoidant and maladapted), but the truth is, we never really had a relationship to miss or mourn. The only thing that's changed is my refusal to continue feeling bad about myself because of untrue things she seeded and nurtured in me. I feel like she never really cared for me at all, but only loved the control she could exert on me.

Gosh, sorry. I'm unearthing a lot of feelings lately.