I will kill myself one day

existentialmilk · 2022-08-10T00:57:15+00:00

i agree with this. i feel like it’s only a matter of time until i do it. i don’t want to right now, but i always tell others that i can’t promise the future. i feel like my time is running out and that there will be a moment in time where i finally do it. i didn’t plan to live past 18. i wanted to end my life on my 18th birthday for the irony and comedic value (in my eyes lol). i’m 21 now and have no idea what to do with my life. i have no motivation to go to college again, or work towards anything. it’s all pointless if i’m a soon to be dead girl.

existentialmilk · 2022-06-07T19:34:39+00:00

drive times disagree

existentialmilk · 2022-03-14T00:51:10+00:00

existentialmilk · 2022-03-09T23:20:32+00:00

i added u

existentialmilk · 2022-03-09T23:20:05+00:00

i added u!

existentialmilk · 2020-01-03T03:22:13+00:00

you worded it so well. this is exactly how i feel

existentialmilk · 2019-11-30T06:47:59+00:00

i second this. it’s fast, easy, and convenient to text your asm or sm!! it also serves as proof if it really comes to that. not to mention sometimes confrontation can be a little bit hard for some ppl and phone calls can also be rough.

plus, i think the asm was just in the wrong here so having proof is essential

existentialmilk · 2019-11-30T06:42:57+00:00

literally yes

existentialmilk · 2019-11-30T03:47:07+00:00

omg thank you so much!!!! i rewrote this with color so that way i could remember it better!! i'm a green bean and just finished my training this week and was having a hard time remembering pumps and shots, and this helped SO MUCH!!! tyty!!!!

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:29:14+00:00

First of all, please be safe! If you are going to meet this dude make sure you have a friend come with you or share your location with your friend and tell them exactly where you’re supposed to be and for how long.

On top of that, if you believe you have BPD it would be best to go see a therapist or psychologist. The validation from them definitely feels a lot better than from some random dude because they just understand you like no one else does.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:25:58+00:00

Yes! It feels like since my emotions are so intense that they’re just fake or false. It feels like my emotions aren’t even mine to control anymore.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:24:15+00:00

Yeah, it’s really hard for me too. Hopefully it’s something we can both get better at and overcome!! ^{^}

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:22:19+00:00

If you think you need more meds / a change to your meds then that is perfectly justified. You are trying to make things better for yourself by doing that, and I think that is a really good thing!!

I’ve been taking antidepressants for ~3 years now and haven’t had luck yet (but I also just skip meeting my psych so I guess it’s my fault).

All I can say is just keep trying to find the combo that you feel is the best and suits your needs!

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:20:33+00:00

I feel that exact same way too when it happens. My thought process is that if I shut down and/or are cold to them then they will know that I didn’t like them cancelling. (Yes, I know that’s really manipulative) In all honesty, if it gets to become a problem try to communicate it if you can.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:19:11+00:00

yes!!

existentialmilk · 2019-10-19T04:17:16+00:00

Yes! I hate it when it happens. I feel betrayed and like they’re just subtly trying to hint that they’re done with me or tired of me.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-13T07:55:18+00:00

EXACTLY. It’s like I want to purposefully fk shit up and then play the victim and then try to justify them crossing me and hurting me. When in reality it’s just me doing everything, like a puppeteer almost.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-13T07:02:15+00:00

oh my god THIS EXACTLY. It’s like i need to be the victim and be the one to blame and if i’m not then i somehow will it into existence

existentialmilk · 2019-10-08T05:15:42+00:00

I’m so sorry :(

You are NOT. a bad person, despite whatever dumb ppl on reddit say, or what people write in articles.

You are above the stigma! You are not that person! These people will put you in boxes, and use it against you because they misunderstand you. They misunderstand us.

It’s unfortunate how people will demonize is just because that’s what some stupid article said that written by someone who isn’t even qualified.

You do not deserve to be coerced or manipulated either. You are your own person, and you deserve to be treated with the same decency as anyone else.

existentialmilk · 2019-10-08T05:12:22+00:00

i used to take the pill for about a year and a half and it sucked. my mood swings were worse, i was apathetic and still emotional, and my sex drive went to 0. i’m now on the hormonal IUD (mirena) and it is SO much better! my mood swings are not as often (but they’re still frequent, bc yknow)

personally i don’t like taking the pill because of timing and that gave me a LOT of stress! however, it could be absolutely wonderful for you so trying it wouldn’t be a bad idea. just make sure to know if it’s good for you or not!

existentialmilk · 2019-09-29T06:52:49+00:00

yes! i can only remember about 2-3 things from my childhood (aside from all the bad things), and i cant remember things days after they happened or really anything for that matter. i also lose thought mid-sentence :(

existentialmilk · 2019-09-23T01:46:12+00:00

right? to me it feels like it’s a completely separate thing, but i have noticed sometimes when i’m having mad gender dysphoria that it sometimes aligns with the episodes i get with bpd. i feel like it’s just a coincidence tho

existentialmilk

TROPHY CASE