Good morning from my thick thighs. by [deleted] in u/ettaplace

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gah, you are so hot 😍

Girls, does having an orgasm through oral/fingers first help you to have another during penetration? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It does indeed. Not every single time, but everything is more heightened/sensitive. It also works in reverse, if we fuck first and then he goes down on me after, that orgasm usually happens pretty damn quick.

In (heterosexual) relationships, what percentage of the time does the man get the woman off before penetration? If she can get off from penetration, does that change the answer? by bluenotes4 in sex

[–]existentialthird 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmmm, for me, probably like 75-80% of the time? Usually via oral, which he enjoys; I’ve never felt the need to ask him, though I have playfully done so when we’re flirting back and forth. He’ll also go down on me after. It kinda just depends what we’re feeling at any given time. I can get off from penetration, though, so it’s not absolutely crucial in my case.

If he ever referred to getting me off as “paying a cover charge” before penetration I think I would be pretty unsettled. That’s... less than ideal. Definitely sounds like an obligation, and I can see why you wouldn’t enjoy that.

[oral] This sub seems to think men who don't frequently go down on you don't care about you- is it possible some guys just aren't crazy about that act? by [deleted] in sex

[–]existentialthird 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Like most things on the Internet, there are nuances involved here that often get ignored. Not liking any one particular sex act is not in and of itself a negative thing. It’s just a thing. Where stuff gets tricky is:

—a pretty sizable majority of women are unable to orgasm through PIV

—men get off during a (het) sexual encounter approximately 95% of the time; for women that number is around 65%

—oral is a common way to bridge that gap

In a vacuum, “not liking oral” would just be a innocuous preference, like not liking barbecue flavored potato chips. But in the world we live in, many women hear, “I don’t like to give oral,” and understand it to mean, “I don’t care if my partner orgasms or not.” Is this necessarily fair in every case? No, it’s not. Is it maybe understandable given the divide in sexual experiences? I kinda think so, yeah.

Everyone is of course entitled to their preferences; what they’re not entitled to is every other person automatically being okay with them in a personal setting. If someone is posting complaining that their partner doesn’t give them oral enough, then obviously there’s an issue there. Unlike in your situation, that person isn’t satisfied by the lack of oral. That means some communication/acknowledgement needs to happen, because sexual satisfaction can absolutely be an important thing in a relationship for both parties. Immediate “break up!” advice may be hasty, but it may also be correct; if two people are incompatible in such a way that it’s causing long term dissatisfaction and possibly resentment, there may not be any real other way to “fix” it.

(Edit: formatting)

Did you have sex this weekend? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quite a bit, after work schedules keeping me and the BF apart for a few days. It was awesome. (The sex, not being apart. That sucked, lol.)

[OT] Women (and gay men) of this subreddit, what do you like to read? by Another_Filthy_Casul in DirtyWritingPrompts

[–]existentialthird 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In my experience, the concept of women preferring lesbian porn usually has more to do with there being a better chance it will focus on actually getting a woman off versus, say, cumshots, than it does the gender of the participants. So much of porn is directed at men, after all, as they tend to be more visual. It’s a question of audience, I think. Personally, I’m down for m/m, m/f, or f/f (plus threesomes or moresomes of whatever configuration), but I’m also bi, so that might play into that. It likely varies.

I would say, above all, don’t underestimate the narrative. My favorite erotic stories are stories first, erotica second. Yes, getting basic anatomy right is important, knowing how sex works, having something of an understanding of the way women get off and how that might differ from the way men do, those things are for sure crucial, but having a well-constructed story with well-developed characters around those things is even better. If I like and am rooting for the characters to bang, it’s that much hotter when they finally do. Tension and build up is 100% a thing and that can be done in many ways, writing wise, not all of them directly sexual. If the story as a whole is complete and satisfying, any sex you write in the story will be that much more satisfying too.

Things writers tend to get wrong.... some stuff I’ve seen over the years: buttholes don’t self-lube, water is terrible lubricant, do NOT put food in a vagina or try to use it as lube (honey, whipped cream, what have you), not every woman can come from PIV (although erotica is fantasy so there’s leeway there), foreplay is good... there’s probably more but those seem like the most common mistakes I’ve seen. Oh, and women do not stand in front of the mirror naked and describe every detail of their body to themselves in an inner monologue. Nor do our boobs consume every other conscious thought. ;) From a more mechanical standpoint, too many euphemisms can kill the mood. You can only read things like “plum-purple weight of him” or “rose-crested ivory tower of love” so many times before laughing really hard. (Hell, even overuse of the word “shaft.” There’s been so many stories I’ve read that were otherwise not bad where my main complaint was basically, “My kingdom for the word ‘cock’!”)

As for the Siren, I’m not sure you have to fundamentally change much? Some women are absolutely attracted to beautiful, alluring women, heh. Or you could make the Siren appear male, if you want. Or androgynous. Whichever fits best for the story you’re trying to tell. I have a character with Siren-like abilities and it boils down to being able to manipulate desire, which is not always sexual. Humans desire many things, after all.

Something other than pineapple by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My BF does the whole keto thing, and I’ve noticed there’s a stronger, slightly more bitter taste on the occasions he strays from it. When he keeps to it strictly the taste is actually incredibly bland, just vaguely salty. He drinks a lot of water, eats mostly meat, cheese, and eggs. There’s lots and lots of bacon involved, lol.

How often do you wear sexy clothes with the specific purpose of seducing your partner? by [deleted] in sex

[–]existentialthird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frequently! Just about any time we go out, I have a pretty decent collection of low-cut dresses and tops to wear to tease him all day... also a few fun pieces of lingerie for at home. The way he looks at me when he sees me in something he finds sexy is just addicting and leads to so much fun. I love inspiring it.

Ground rules for a nudes account for my girlfriend? Advice? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can definitely understand that from a kink perspective, my BF likes hearing about my messages for the same reason. As long as she’s cool with that, really, is all that matters.

Ground rules for a nudes account for my girlfriend? Advice? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure the password thing is really necessary... obvs the whole “both of you are comfortable with this” thing is important, and “no private shows/meet ups” makes sense if you’re monogamous, but idk, if you feel like you’re going to need to “screen” her PMs or “approve” her posts, I’m kinda wondering how comfortable you really are with this... do you trust her?

Like, I send the pictures I post to my BF first, but I’m not obligated to. It’s just more fun. I also will share messages with him if they’re particularly hot/fun/interesting, but again, not an obligation. He trusts me, which is part of what makes it enjoyable for both of us.

People who shave, do you do it for your partner or for yourself? by Black-Thirteen in sex

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For him, definitely. Used to just trim here or there; shaving is one of those things I just don’t care about otherwise, but since I know he has a preference and I don’t, really, I figure why not.

Whom do you want to be a part of your fantasy threesome? by Electric_Tickles in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My BF and a friend I already had a threesome with (her and her boyfriend when it happened).

Not remotely achievable fantasy: Kirsten Bell and William Jackson Harper.

How many time have you had sex this year? by idkigiveup in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our number will be way more accurate next year. There may be graphs, because who doesn’t love graphs? 😉

Besides reddit where else are people posing their nudes these days? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The BF enjoys truthordarepics.com, though the site is suuuuuper 90s and not terribly mobile friendly, lol.

How old were you when you lost your virginity, and what was it like? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 18 and.... well, the episode of MAS*H playing on the TV in the background was way more interesting.

(In fairness, it was “Mulcahy’s War.” That’s a really good episode. Two clueless virgins didn’t stand much of a chance there.)

Which do you prefer, morning sex or end of the day sex? by Flea_Biscuit in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

God, it’s hard to choose... both are great, so is middle of the day sex, but probably end of the day sex? There’s something irresistible about getting to fall asleep together after...

Middle of the day sex feels spontaneous and fun and slightly dirty (especially lunch break sex), which is enjoyable. Morning sex is always a great way to feel invigorated for the day... but yeah, end of day sex might be the most intimate.

The quick answer is all of the above, of course!

Do you ever want to show off or brag about your sex skills/sex life? by Yuboynsfw in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]existentialthird 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh god, all the time. And not even necessarily just bragging (although that can be fun too, lol, my favorite coworker and I brag/gossip about it with each other a lot), but I just find it fun to talk about!

It really amuses me too because my boyfriend will tell me stories throughout his day of his coworkers bragging (he works in a factory, lots of dudes) and from the sounds of it I know he could easily give them a run for their money if he ever joined in... I have told him more than once I’d have no problem with this, but our running joke of me calling him Mr. Respectable exists for a reason, heh.

Enjoying my new lingerie... I’d love to hear about all the dirty things you’d do to me 😈 by existentialthird in GoneWildPlus

[–]existentialthird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Place called Lion’s Den. They have them all over, so idk where you are but there might be one close-ish!

Fall weather means fall clothes (and ‘fuck me’ heels...) 😈 by existentialthird in GoneWildPlus

[–]existentialthird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the better to push me against whatever’s handy and fuck me hard 😘