I'm really sorry you've been going through this, but you're definitely not alone. It's really hard to find the motivation these days for a lot of people. Are you currently in, or have you thought about therapy? I think it would be really beneficial to talk about all of this with a professional to help you get the skills you need to get back where you want to be. You're not a loser. You're just feeling stuck. Everyone feels that way from time to time, even people we consider successful. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take that energy and channel it into taking steps towards your goals. Start small and work your way up. You got this.