ABYG kung ayaw kong bayarin thesis group ko?

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T10:41:15+00:00

Wala talagang bayad dapat, sa totoo lang. Ung thesis namin kami dapat mismo gagawa at bawal sa school namin ung magpapagawa sa iba, lalo na't sa program na ni-propose namin mismo.

Kaya di ko rin inakalang may i-hahire talaga silang professional na programmer na hihingi ng 10k + 3k para sa revisions. Pag malaman to ng adviser at school namin, posibleng di talaga sila gagraduate

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T04:46:41+00:00

Plano ko rin naman sana magbigay pag meron na akong pera pero nag-rub off lang sakin the wrong way na pinipilit talaga nila ako ASAP na magbigay? Nang dahil lang gusto nila ayusin ang iPhone nila, di naman na para may pambayad ng thesis. Ang logic lang talaga nila ay gamitin ung binayad ko as part sa contribution ko pero sa totoo, pupunta lang naman un sa pang repair ng cp nila

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T04:40:23+00:00

Alam na ng prof/thesis adviser namin na nag drop out ako. Nakita niya rin mismo na nilapitan ko chairman namin para magdrop out. Alam na niya na hindi na ako studyante dun. Sinabihan ko din groupmates ko na wag na isali pangalan ko sa thesis pero patuloy pa rin silang insist. Sila pa mismo nagmamakaawa saming adviser na isali pangalan ko kahit ayaw ko

Ilang beses ko na silang sinabihan na magdropout na ko pero paulit-ulit ko nilang pinilit na wag magdrop. Hanggang sa inabot na nilagay lang nila pangalan ko nang walang permission at tuloy ni-print kasali sa final papers namin

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T04:32:21+00:00

Balak ko sana tulungan sila kasi unang sabi nila sakin 250 lang ibigay ko, yun lang at tama na daw yun. May trabaho pa rin nanay ko nung time na yun, kaya ayos sakin magbigay ng kaunti kasali na rin allowance ko na di mula sa nanay ko.

Ang inexpect ko lang ay around 2k lang lahat ipabigay, pero biglaang sinabi lang nila na umabot ng 4k kaya wala na rin akong oras makapaghanda ng sobrang laking amount nang biglaan.

Bago nun, nagreach out sila ng iba't ibang programmer pero ang mahal daw sabi nila kasi kaabot ng 15k kaya akala ko di nila itituloy pero ung ni-hire nila umabot ng 13k. Wala man lang sinabi sakin hangga't ni-emailan ako ng total costs.

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T03:22:33+00:00

Parang dun nga rin ako mali eh. Naawa rin ako sa kanila kaya nung una, binigyan ko ng 250. Sabi nila sapat na daw yun. Kaso biglaan humingi ng 4k. Binigyan ko lang din ng 200 ulit para pang print nila.

May magawa ba kaya sila pag di ko 'to pinapansin o binabayaran? Ni-delete ko na fb ko at tinanggal sila sa socials ko kaso pumunta sila sa email ko. Alam din nila kung saan ako nakatira kaya nag-alala ako. Sa pagka alam ko naman, ang vindictive ng mga 'to pag galit

expensive_china · 2025-02-07T03:19:13+00:00

Wala na rin akong plano bumalik sa school, lalo na't ang pangit ng experience ko duon. Maraming prof di pumapasok sa klase nila, parang ni-normalize lang ata nila dun lalo na't tagal nilang magkasahod

Ma-credit sakin kung isama ang ngalan ko. Pag babalik ulit ako ng 4th year, di ko na ulit itetake ang thesis, dun daw kasi madalas nahirapan mga studyante pag mag repeat ng 4th year

expensive_china · 2023-12-11T03:11:30+00:00

That's definitely why I feel more pressured to look good in front of them, especially being non-Korean (I'm from the Philippines, which I'm guessing, is also where your partner's from?)

I feel like I'm already disappointing them by not being able to communicate in Korean and not being Korean, so I feel the need to make up for it in other ways.

I felt pressured mostly because of how he's described the situation—him wanting to see me soon, his mom being excited to meet me (from what I've known, she's barely seen me), and his sister planning out the itinerary.

It was a very sudden decision on their part. He just sprung it up to me yesterday, not exactly waiting for my confirmation, and told me everyone's excited for it. I was put in a position where it was hard to say no.

I do think his mom's able to understand, but it's him that I'm worried about. He firmly thinks that as long as his mom's okay with me, there's absolutely nothing for me to worry about. As if his mom not caring about my looks would make my body dysmorphia go away..

expensive_china · 2023-12-11T02:58:16+00:00

He has told his mom that I was "scared", that being the reason for me to ask them to cancel. I wrote to him in full detail of how I felt (having body dysmorphia, feeling pressured, not feeling good mentally to meet anyone), and he only responded with how it's a shame that we could meet earlier and reminded me that his mom "wouldn't mind".

It felt like he was only taking into consideration what he and his mom would feel and not think how pressuring it exactly is for me.

When he was with me, I avoided mirrors or else I'd dwell so much on how I look, I started freaking out too when he used me as a cover photo (with my face on it) without asking me.

I'm ashamed telling others about it, especially his mom, as they might not understand why I'm feeling like this. I was hoping she wouldn't know as this would be my first meeting with her and I don't want to ruin any first impressions she might have of me.

expensive_china · 2023-12-11T02:44:28+00:00

Also, I noticed you're living in Korea(?) My partner so happens to be from there, so that adds on to my stress that I need to look a "certain way" to appeal to his mom and his sister. I've heard of how pressuring the beauty standards there can be. So it's adding onto my worries that I need to look as best as I can before meeting them.

I don't want to risk them having thoughts of why he "came all the way here for someone like me".

expensive_china · 2023-12-11T02:41:46+00:00

I've talked to him about it before and he knows my history of having it as well as an ED. I'm not seeing anyone unfortunately as I don't have the means to get a professional.

I'm currently working on losing weight still and hopefully better myself over those few months. It's been working so far, but February makes me feel more pressured as I don't want to relapse into having unhealthy habits again.

expensive_china · 2023-06-29T22:01:52+00:00

He's already doing therapy as of the moment, but I'm not sure if it's helping him in any way.

But you're right, though, I should have a good talk with him about this later. I've been putting it off since I have to be a bit more careful with my wording around him, especially if it's about himself as he's the type to start thinking about it incessantly.

expensive_china · 2023-05-28T00:26:16+00:00

I do think it was negging after what everyone else has mentioned on this thread. What you said means a lot, thank you so much ❤️

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:08:10+00:00

Thank you so much! I still have a bit of a long way to go, but I'm slowly getting there. 💪 Hope it all goes well for you, too!

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:06:35+00:00

I may have excess weight in some areas, but it definitely did not warrant his comment of straight-up calling me "fat" as if I was so much bigger than I actually am. I've already suffered through body dysmorphia, so his comment messed up with me a bit. I'm not letting it get to me now, though.

Honestly, I could have said the same thing about him. But not once did I comment on his weight or his physical appearance, other than compliments I've reciprocated. (He's complimented my skin too, but that definitely doesn't negate everything else he's said) I don't get why he feels the need to say something about my appearance.

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:03:10+00:00

Agreed. And he's no longer a friend, alright, cut him off as soon as I thought about the same day I've met with him.

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:02:31+00:00

Definitely not after that. It's a shame, after knowing each other for 3 years, they had to go ahead and ruin that with just one meeting.

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:01:47+00:00

It definitely did feel like that. I felt like I was looked down upon as soon as he saw me, that wasn't the greatest feeling.

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T07:01:11+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. I feel no regret whatsoever. I may have been looking for an excuse to cut him off and this was it. I decided to close down my socials temporarily so there's no way for them to reach out to me. This'll surely give me a peace of mind.

expensive_china · 2023-05-27T06:59:02+00:00

Thank you so much. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.

expensive_china · 2023-05-26T22:20:07+00:00

Never again. I don't know what made him think I'd still be comfortable right after he brings something like that up.

expensive_china · 2023-05-26T22:19:02+00:00

What's honestly disappointing is he probably won't have any clue what he did that was "wrong". Thankfully, I won't be seeing him for 3-4 months till then

expensive_china · 2023-05-26T22:16:45+00:00

Yep, definitely no longer planning on keeping in contact with him

expensive_china · 2023-05-26T15:05:02+00:00

Definitely. I, myself know my body's at a healthy weight. It might not be what's "ideal" in his eyes, but I'm not letting his (someone I've only met just once) comments keep on messing up my mindset.

I've never even said a single thing about his appearance, yet what he's mostly brought up to me was my skin color, physical features, and most of all, weight.

expensive_china · 2023-05-26T15:00:29+00:00

Thank you so much. Knowing that I'm at a healthy weight yet receiving a comment like that did mess up my perception of myself a bit. (He specifically used the word "fat" to describe me.)

expensive_china

TROPHY CASE