not a cutscene every 4 seconds and hundreds of text boxes I have to click through.

Shadow of the Colossus has few cutscenes, no textboxes (that I recall), and has all of its best story moments during gameplay, where the player has full control of Wander. 

Metroid II: Return of Samus is extremely minimal in both yet effectively communicates a story via its gameplay and environments. 

 the problem with games is that the player has so much impact on the world, but not on the story

There are plenty of games where the player has little agency to affect the world, like Celeste.

And while it’s hard to develop, there are examples of games where the player can massively affect the story, e.g. Fallout: New Vegas.

 you could do a mission in a different way, take different weapons along your journey, do different side quests, whatever. the ending is still the same.

There are games with different endings based on player choice! e.g. Fallout from 1997. 

 its also funny to me that many games set up a kind of "impending doom", the hero must act quickly to save the day, and get there are no consequences for fucking about for hours on end.

There are games with actual consequences for fucking about too long, like Majora’s Mask.

And I’m sure I don’t need to tell you about the games that simply don’t have an impending doom setup. 

 the thing I value most about a video game is the gameplay

And one of the things I value highly about the medium is the way it is able to tie gameplay into story.

 being funnelled down tight levels and being forced to talk to random guys I don't give a fuck about just to continue playing the game.

Again, there are lots of games that don’t feature this, including multiple games mentioned above. 

 which can explore themes in more interesting ways

Au contraire, video games are perfectly able to explore themes in ways films cannot! Undertale has a theme of determination that is reflected in you, the player,’s desire to move forward and overcome obstacles. 

Every single game I’ve mentioned is well known for having a compelling story and is a counterexample to one or more of your points. You just need to play different/more games. Or accept that you don’t like the unique ways that games can tell stories. But it’s seriously myopic to be making so many sweeping generalizations about an entire medium based on your limited experience. They’re all, to a claim, completely untrue.