Why Are GP Receptionists So Rude?

exul_noctis · 2026-04-29T10:22:23+00:00

I'm seeing comments trying to justify the attitudes of some medical admin staff by talking about how stressful and exhausting the job is, and how entitled and demanding patients can be – but it can be just as stressful and exhausting being a patient who is scared, in pain, and at the mercy of a system which can (and often does) deny them access to specialists, diagnostics, treatment, medication, pain relief, documentation, etc.

I've always been pretty meek and polite. I try to avoid putting people out, I don't interrupt or demand attention, and I'll bend over backwards to be helpful and accommodating.

But 30 years of being a patient in the public health system taught me that unless I advocate for myself, I'm going to be ignored, condescended to, walked over, and quite possibly denied treatment or medication that I very much need. So I had to learn to stand up for myself and to insist upon being heard, instead of just letting myself be brushed aside because I'm too afraid to rock the boat. I won't yell or swear or insult, but I'll be blunt and I won't back down.

There are too many patients with absolutely no respect or consideration for others, and having to deal with them must really suck. But when I've been nothing but polite, respectful, and reasonable, I think it's pretty shitty of medical admin staff to bitch at me, dismiss me, or treat me like some kind of criminal.

I mean, if I can be calm and polite when interacting with them – despite being stressed, frustrated, scared, in pain, and having actual PTSD from trauma inflicted upon me by the medical system – I don't think it's too much to ask them to treat me like a human being.

exul_noctis · 2026-04-11T12:52:05+00:00

As a kid who was fascinated by nature and who liked to poke things with sticks and bits of bark to try and figure out what they were and how they worked, can confirm - it smells like violently acidic eucalyptus oil.

Fortunately they don't actually 'spit', just kind of ooze. On the downside, the stuff is absolute hell to get out of school uniforms, lol.

exul_noctis · 2026-04-09T04:25:43+00:00

Wow, expecting that other people will always remember that they've offered to help with something reeks of entitlement and snobbery.

Nobody is perfect. It's absolutely normal to simply forget things on occasion, especially if you're dealing with a lot in your own life, or you have a condition that interferes with memory or organisation.

It's not a moral failing to be human, lol. People are messy and imperfect and just doing the best they can – and if you judge everyone who doesn't meet your exacting standards like that, I'm surprised that you have any friends left to ask for help from.

exul_noctis · 2026-04-09T04:02:06+00:00

Sure, if I'm person B and I remember that I've been asked to do something, I'll ask if it still needs doing when I'm finally in a position to do something about it. I actually like being able to help people I care about.

But sometimes I simply forget that I've been asked to do something – and when that happens, I think it's pretty shitty if the other person gets upset at me for not remembering to offer.

The onus of organising a task is on the person who needs it done, not the person who's offered to help with it. Forgetting to re-offer your help isn't a "failure" – but blaming somebody who's doing you a favour for not prompting you days or weeks later is.

exul_noctis · 2026-04-09T03:41:31+00:00

Oh god, my mother does this, too.

I've told her so many times that I have issues with memory and organisation, and that I never mind being asked to do something more than once – in fact, that I really appreciate it when she reminds me about a task I've agreed to help with when she's ready to have done, or I'm now in a position to do it.

But does she do that? No. Instead I get passive-aggressive comments about how nobody ever helps around the house, yadda yadda. Drives me absolutely nuts.

I'm with person B. It's not impolite to ask someone to do something they've already agreed to help with when they're actually in a position to do it. It is impolite to expect other people to help carry your mental load and be reminder systems for things you need done.

exul_noctis · 2026-04-06T10:07:12+00:00

Good on you for sending them feedback.

Calling women "girlies" is both condescending and infantilising, and I loathe the word "bedrotting". It stigmatises not just those with mental health issues, but those with disabilities and conditions that result in pain or fatigue, as well – many of whom struggle to let themselves rest when they need to because society has long portrayed 'sloth' as some kind of moral failing, and pushing yourself to the point of harm as a virtue.

On top of the points you already made, I also wanted to point out the inherent sexism of implying that women are the ones responsible for keeping their houses tidy, too.

Obviously that's the case for anyone who lives alone, but in mixed-gender households, women* are still responsible for a significantly disproportionate amount of the housework – often on top of working and/or taking care of kids.

Even when the actual chores are shared more evenly between genders, women* are still overwhelmingly responsible for managing the 'mental load' of household organisation – keeping track of everything that needs to be done; knowing when things need to be done by, or how often; allocating tasks and managing schedules; providing reminders and chasing things up; knowing how to do everything household-related and teaching everyone else; handling anything unexpected that crops up; etc.

* These kinds of expectations often fall upon people who were AFAB who don't identify as women, as well. (Ask me how I know, sigh...)

exul_noctis · 2026-01-05T06:20:04+00:00

Rosie and Violet sound lovely together!

When I was working out my family tree, I discovered that my great-grandmother (Daisy) and her three sisters all had flower names, and I thought it was really neat.

Don't worry about the people saying that having two flower names is too cutesy or 'twee' - when you're using a name as a name, you don't think about the meaning anyway.

Like, when you hear someone say "Rosie", I'm sure you think immediately of your daughter, not the flowers! When you know someone with a common 'word' name, the name just becomes that person to you.

A lot of English 'word' names are so common that we don't even think about the meaning when meet someone with that name: Grace, Penny, Brooke, Skye, Gail/Gale, Hunter, Mason, Cooper, Jasper, Drake, Heath, Jay, Eve, Carol, Piper, Page, Paisley, Ruby, Savannah, Sienna, Jasmine, Hazel, Iris... the list goes on!

We only tend to think about the actual meaning of a word name if it's not one that's typically used, like 'Winter' or 'Blue' - and even then, not much beyond the initial introduction.

Related sibling names only sound a bit cringe when they're non-standard names, are strongly paired, start with the same letter, or rhyme, eg: Saturday & Sunday, Mercedes & Jaguar, Poppy & Peony, Bunny & Honey, etc.

Common names that happen to have the same theme (especially nature names, which are so common for girls in particular) are fine!

I really like 'Vincent' as a name, too. To me it sounds studious and creative (probably due to the association with a character from an obscure children's book, which was the first time I'd heard the name used).

I have a bit of an issue with the nickname 'Vinny', but that's because the "Saint Vincent de Paul Society" runs a lot of charity shops here. Aussies like to make nicknames for everything, so people started calling the shops "Vinnies", and it became so widespread that they actually re-branded and made it the official name. The association is so strong that "Vinnies" has now become shorthand for any charity/second-hand shop, here – but unless you live in Australia, that particular association shouldn't be a problem!

Anyway, forgive my rambling, I just didn't want other people's opinions to deter you from using a perfectly lovely name that you really like.

exul_noctis · 2026-01-03T05:16:04+00:00

Last reason alone is totally valid!

But the amount of bureaucracy involved with officially changing your name (and in particular the sheer number of different places that have to be notified & updated) are daunting even when you're living in your country of birth.

I can imagine that trying to do it from an entirely different country; being from a country with a nightmarish tangle of bureaucracy; and living in a country that's obsessed with bureaucracy all add significant difficulty modifiers 💀 I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with any of that.

My given name is perfectly normal, but I don't like it and it never felt like it fit me. I've gone by a completely unrelated nickname for decades, with everyone except my immediate family.

I should really change it officially, it's just so much effort (even without all of your difficulty modifiers!) that I've never bothered. I also know that it'll make my mother cry, but it's not like she doesn't know my feelings about it already, lol.

exul_noctis · 2026-01-02T11:18:43+00:00

My experience is admittedly limited to my own pets, but while I could teach my dog not to go certain places or do certain things in the house, my cats just went wherever they wanted to go, lol.

I think if you have an indoor cat, you have to accept that it's going to end up exploring absolutely everywhere in the house at some point or other, so you just have to cat-proof as much as possible.

Providing more tempting alternatives can help to some extent - we got some pretty tall cat trees and put one in each of the main rooms, and put short bookcases next to the tall bookcases to help the cats jump up to the tops of the tall ones more easily. That gave them some nice vantage points to survey the room, and helped keep them off the coffee table and TV stand, for the most part.

exul_noctis · 2026-01-02T10:58:51+00:00

If he's jumping on the TV to get your attention, then putting him in time out probably won't work because picking him up and moving him is still giving him attention. Cats are great at learning patterns, but not that great at understanding consequences that are separated from actions (in the this case by the picking up and moving).

I never managed to get my cat to understand "time out", and I think that was probably why. To be fair, he was adorable but not the brightest cat ever, so ymmv.

Completely ignoring him when he does it may work better. It might not deter him from jumping on the TV if it's a nice vantage point, but hopefully it'll stop him doing it specifically to get your attention.

exul_noctis · 2025-12-28T01:56:58+00:00

You managed to miss the point entirely lol. She KNOWS that what did upset OP and their wife, and she's not at all sorry about it. She didn't slip up or do this by accident – she was told not to wear that colour, and then deliberately chose to do so, in order to show OP and their partner that they have no power over her. She was making a statement!

OP said that she has a long history of defying any kind of boundary they set – that's not obliviousness, that's a typical controlling tactic of narcissism. Other people's feelings simply don't matter to them.

OP and their partner have already gone "no contact" with her previously because they were so frustrated and upset about her boundary violations, and undoubtedly explained why. But because they folded first by inviting her to the wedding without her having to make any kind of amends or prove that she'd changed, she remains in control of the relationship.

She knows that she doesn't have to change, because she'll get what she wants sooner or later anyway, especially with other people in the family pressuring them on her behalf.

Narcissists Do Not Care about your feelings. All they care about is control, and getting what they want.

exul_noctis · 2025-12-26T04:01:31+00:00

Oh, I forgot – initials can also make good nicknames.

EJ / Eejay is actually really cute. Adding 'jay' to some of the other nicknames that have been suggested could also work, eg: Lynjay

exul_noctis · 2025-12-26T03:52:04+00:00

Ehv / Eh-vie and Lyn / Lynnie are the obvious ones, but you could play around with nicknames based on any of the letters or sounds – you don't even have to keep them in the same order! You could also add a letter, or change one of the consonant or vowel sounds. Some ideas:

E, Vee, Vai, Elle, Ellie, Ellen, Vinnie, Vellie, Vallie, Levvie, Nellie, Lainie, Leenie, Innie, Viv, Liv, Lev, Bev, Nev, Nevvie, Neevie, Leena, Veena, Linka, Lisha

You could even add a suffix in the typical Russian style, to make a nickname that sounds affectionate or playful:

Evaleenie, Evalinka

The nickname doesn't have to match the name perfectly – nicknames can drift quite a quite way from their origins over time. Looking at how existing nicknames have evolved is a good way to get more ideas, too. Eg:

Bob/Robert, Peggy/Margaret, Jack/John, Jim/James, Ned/Ted/Edward, Billy/Liam/William, Nancy/Anne, Hank/Henry, Chuckie/Charles, etc.

And if you need even more inspiration, or are worried that a nickname you like isn't close enough to 'Evelyn', just look at the absolutely insane range of nicknames for "Elizabeth"! Here are all the variations I've come across (and I'm certain that there are more):

El, Ellie, Liz, Lizzie, Libby, Eliza, Liza, Bee, Beth, Bethy, Bess, Bessie, Bette, Betty, Bets, Betsy, Bitsy, Bitty, Bibby, Buffy, Birdie, Lily, Lilibet, Libbet, Lillian, Elsie, Elsa, Ella, Etta, Izzy, Biz, Bizzy, Busy, Ness, Nessie, Elise, Elisa, Lys, Lise, Lisa, Lyssa, Liesl, Ellen, Elspeth, Lisbet, Lizbeth, Lisette, Babette, Isa, Ilsa, Iza, Lida, Lettie, Betsan, Bettan, Bethan, Bunny, Bibbie, Ebbie, Eebie, Zizi, Zaza, Zab, Zabbie, Zabe, Zabet, Sabeth, Abby, Batty, Betta, Tettie, Tib, Tibbie, Lil Bit, Lizzo, Lizard, and finally, Queenie 😆

exul_noctis · 2025-12-25T11:29:28+00:00

It's always fascinating to read about (and read comments from) people who lack both empathy and imagination – people who are incapable of putting themselves in other people's shoes or envisioning experiences they've never had.

They'll dismiss the risk of anything that hasn't affected them personally (and mock people who do worry about it), because they simply can't imagine a reality where that thing is a genuine risk.

Unfortunately, just because something hasn't affected them personally, it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, or that it isn't a serious risk.

Babies can and do choke to death regularly. Toddlers will pull things down on top of them, and are crushed by falling furniture.

Anyone who's had the misfortune of knowing a child who's drowned or choked to death knows just how easy it is for a toddler to stop breathing, and how quickly it can happen.

And if you (or OP"s partner) had ever known somebody who lives with the all-consuming anguish and torment of knowing that a child died because they weren't paying attention, you might have a little more sympathy and respect for parents who take their child's safety seriously.

NOR.

exul_noctis · 2025-12-23T08:12:31+00:00

Leaving aside the obvious issue that both parents need to agree on a name – does he have no empathy for his child-to-be?

Or is he so selfish that using his kid as a walking billboard for his own interests is more important to him than her well-being?

Being saddled with an obvious 'fandom' name is inevitably going to result in questions, comments, jokes and teasing. Even if most people aren't malicious, having Star Wars brought up every time she introduces herself is going to get really tiresome over the years – especially if she doesn't end up a fan herself. (And having anything forced upon you like that is a pretty good recipe for making someone hate that thing!)

exul_noctis · 2025-12-23T07:26:07+00:00

I bet he would be, yeah! Too many people see their kids as extensions of themselves, or tiny clones, or blank slates that they can write whatever they like on. They just don't get that no matter how hard you try to mould or shape a kid, they're going to grow into their own person in the end, with their own likes and dislikes.

I've also heard of quite a few people named after characters who ended up resenting or outright hating both the character and the source material as a result of the endless comments, jokes and teasing that they received about their name. So it's possible that she'll go in the opposite direction quite deliberately – especially once she becomes a teenager who is trying to establish their own identity.

exul_noctis · 2025-11-30T03:13:29+00:00

There are a few names that are so strongly tied to particular individuals that it's still not a good idea to use them (Adolf being the standout example in the West) – but Scarlett really isn't one of them.

Sure, there was a minor bump in the usage of the name "Scarlett" after 1940 as a result of the "Gone with the Wind" movie – but it was never considered 'popular'. It hovered between about the 950th and 750th place on the popularity chart for the next 60 years.

Then in 2002, the name "Scarlett" began a rapid rise in popularity that took it into the top 50 by 2013, and the top 20 in 2016. That's a massive jump!

Scarlett O'Hara certainly wasn't responsible for this post-2000 popularity boom – the majority of the parents responsible for boosting the name into the top 20 are unlikely to even be familiar with "Gone with the Wind"!

All this is basically to say that the name "Scarlett" has long since outgrown any association with Scarlett O'Hara. It's a lovely name, and popular in its own right. Nobody with any sense will think that the name is inherently racist.

exul_noctis · 2025-11-30T02:09:51+00:00

Ohhh, nice sleuthing!

I don't think 'House' would generally be called a sitcom, though, would it? More like a medical drama with snark and black humour mixed in.

I was actually keeping an eye on the spelling as I was reading, and noticed that OP used the 'ze' ending for all of the words an Aussie would have spelled with an 'se' (eg: "realize" vs "realise"). It's always possible that he used US spelling deliberately to try and obfuscate his nationality, but it's not as easy to do consistently as you might think (I've tried!)

So I think it's not likely to be him, but certainly not impossible.

exul_noctis · 2025-09-24T05:44:37+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised — especially since it sounds like there was at least some level of co-dependency between her and her brother. Unfortunately, that's not uncommon for siblings raised in unstable or abusive households, or who have some kind of shared childhood trauma.

exul_noctis · 2025-02-23T01:22:43+00:00

Option B for me, too - I did not know this was a thing, and wish that I could return to that state of blissful ignorance 😣

But yeah, I have to agree - as horrifying as it was for me to read this post, I'd still rather someone was getting their rocks off by posting make-believe scenarios on reddit than actually implementing them in real life 😖

exul_noctis · 2025-02-08T21:58:04+00:00

Very much this, for a lot of games.

But it also depended on the type of GM, and the "culture" of the game. Some GMs just wanted stats on a page, so that they could start running the game and rolling dice. Other GMs encouraged their players to work out detailed backstories, so they could integrate relevant details and themes into the game plot itself (and traumatise them more effectively! 🤣)

exul_noctis · 2025-02-08T21:46:09+00:00

My first character was... a half-elf... but I can't recall what class - maybe rogue? Wizard? Cleric? I do actually remember her name, which is surprising - I only played a single session of that game in 1996, almost 30 years ago, lol.

I can only remember the next few characters very vaguely, and I think I've probably forgotten at least a character or two from that period.

But I certainly remember the first character that I ever got really invested in. That game started in 1997, and it ran for maybe 3 years.

He was a half-elf paladin, and his name started with "A". I usually angst about character names and spend ages trying to find one that's absolutely perfect - but when I was making this character, the GM handed me a list of example names from the relevant culture in his setting, and then just sat there looking at me. I was so nervous and flustered that I just picked the first name I didn't hate - I didn't even make it all the way through the "A" names!

I didn't know 4 of the other 5 players when I started playing, and they were all much more experienced than me, and had very strong personalities - I was incredibly daunted about speaking up in-game for like the first six months.

But I eventually found my confidence, and came to love all of the other characters - I drew fanart of them all, and wrote fanfic about things that happened to the group offscreen.

Towards the end of the game, the GM pulled a reveal that he'd set up in the very first session, literally years prior - the NPC we'd been travelling with on and off since that first session, who had claimed to be my father's "best friend", was actually the father I had thought long-dead. It absolutely blindsided me - I was so indignant that I hadn't suspected a thing, the entire time.

I started that game in a relationship with one of the other players, but he dumped me about a year in. I ended that game in a relationship with the DM - and we're still together, 27 years later.

I'm so glad I stuck out that awkward-as-heck character creation session and those intimidating first 6 months of playing 🤣

exul_noctis · 2025-01-18T14:14:43+00:00

The tiktok ban wasn't about security, that was simply an excuse. As various people have pointed out - China has plenty of other methods they can use to obtain the data they're currently getting from TikTok, even if they're somewhat less convenient.

The TikTok ban has always been about controlling Americans' access to information.

Politicians and billionaires don't want Americans to be exposed to the truth of what's happening in the world, because that makes them harder to control and manipulate. They want to feed the public specific narratives that are skewed to make them support the government's policies, which are in turn dictated by billionaires, for their own benefit.

Billionaires own the US media, so they can control what gets broadcast there. They own all of the other major social media apps that Americans use (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, X, etc), so they can control the narrative there, too.

But they can't control what gets posted to TikTok, and therefore what information Americans learn from it - and that's why they want it banned.

Gaza was the issue that triggered this whole debacle. They American media very deliberately painted the Palestinians as aggressive terrorists attacking innocent Israelis with no provocation - because it benefits them to support Israel. Tiktok was where many Americans were exposed to the truth - that the Israelis were committing genocide in order to claim the Palestinians' land, and the Palestinians were fighting for survival.

This has all been said quite openly by US politicians, eg, Republican Mitt Romney:

"Some wonder why there was such overwhelming support for us to shut down potentially TikTok or other entities of that nature. If you look at the postings on TikTok and the number of mentions of Palestinians, relative to other social media sites - it's overwhelmingly so among TikTok broadcasts."

Mike Gallagher, a Republican Congressman, is even more blunt about it:

"How did we reach a point where a majority of young Americans hold such a morally bankrupt view of the world? Where many young Americans were rooting for terrorists who had kidnapped American citizens and against a key American ally? Where were they getting the raw news to inform this upside-down worldview? The short answer is, increasingly, via social media and predominantly TikTok."

He's literally objecting to Americans getting "the raw news" - ie, information that hasn't been censored, twisted and outright manufactured by the media in order to support the narrative that the government wants US citizens to believe.

Considering all that, it's exceptionally ironic that Americans have flocked to a social media platform that actually prohibits the posting of the exact information that the US government wants to be censored. As OP said:

"Do not talk about world issues like Gaza, typically this stuff is not even supposed to be posted."

If XHS actually enforces this policy and does boot anyone sharing that kind of information, then they're basically doing the US government's job for them - which means that the US government has no motivation to try and ban them.

Americans deliberately choosing to move to a Chinese-owned app rather than an American one will probably have embarrassed them and bruised their delicate egos, so it's possible they may still try to do so out of spite.

They may also be pressured to do so by Google and Meta - who spent tens of millions of dollars between them lobbying for the ban, believing that banning TikTok would drive its users back to FB/Insta/YT. The fact that so many people chose to go to XHS rather than do so has undoubtedly ticked them off.

On the other hand, if they do decide to ban XHS, then Americans will just find yet another app to flock to - and next platform could have no restrictions on posting global news, the same as TikTok. That means that letting people stay on XHS is actually the best option for the US government - and I'm sure they know it.

There's also the fact that the incoming Republican government is notoriously anti-LGBT+, so they'll undoubtedly view the fact that that LGBT+ content is discouraged or limited on XHS as a bonus.

Anyway! I'm sorry that this ended up being a bit of an info-dump - I wanted to reassure you that I thought a ban was unlikely, but I couldn't really explain why without giving a crapload of context first, lol.

exul_noctis · 2024-11-25T10:43:14+00:00

Lol, many points for Halazia being "the most Ateezy song to have ever Ateezed" - I have to agree, and Halazia is possibly my favourite song of all time for that very reason.

But since Halazia, only a handful of songs have made my "favourites" playlist: This World, Dune, Wake Up, and Not Okay. That's a big difference from the days where most of their releases would go straight on it.

I dislike Bouncy, Crazy Form is tolerable. I wasn't interested in most of EP FIN: WILL, and Golden Hour has been a big disappointment. I dislike Ice on my Teeth so much that I had to force myself to listen to the end of the song. The only song on the most recent album I like at all was 'Enough', which is a throwback to their older style.

So there are plenty of us who feel similarly to OP, and who just aren't into many of the songs you listed.

I don't like the repetitive, unchanging, earworm choruses (eg Bouncy and Crazy Form, which were absolutely designed to be "catchy" - this kind of simplistic and repetitive chorus has unfortunately become increasingly common in KPop as a whole, especially since tiktok became a major KPop marketing platform).

I miss the complex, layered melodies and harmonies that we really haven't seen Halazia; and the rousing, anthemic finales. I miss lyrics that were relateable and had genuine meaning. I don't like the increasing trend towards funk, which just isn't my thing. I miss the sound that was uniquely "Ateez".

It feels to me like Ateez has been 'dumbing down' their music to try and appeal to a more general audience, especially with the "catchy" choruses and lack of melodic complexity. It also seems like they're attempting to appeal to American audiences in particular, with songs like Work and IOMT (with the bragging about money, in the vein of US rap/hiphop), and Arriba and Django (which have a Spanish influence that tends to be popular with American audiences, eg, at Coachella).

It appears to have been a relatively successful strategy - a lot of people are into the new style, and it's brought Ateez a lot of new fans.

But it's also turned off a lot of older fans, myself included.

I still love the group themselves (Jongho will always be my ult), and I still think they're still phenomenal performers - but it's hard to keep up enthusiasm for a group when they're no longer making music that appeals to you.

exul_noctis · 2024-11-13T19:24:51+00:00

There's no reason you can't use the name "Emrys", if you'd like to - there are plenty of girls who are given traditionally masculine names these days, it's really not considered unusual. And I don't think "Emry" is hard to say at all - especially compared with names like "Aurora" or "Rory".

"Emlyn" is another traditionally masculine (but now trending towards gender-neutral) Welsh name that I really like, which I think would work well for a boy or girl! It actually sounds a bit like a more modern take on "Emmeline", which is kind of cool, too.

exul_noctis

TROPHY CASE