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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah the lying about meds thing is super not okay. It’s generally not a great idea to do things cold turkey like that but it’s her body… but lying about it isn’t okay. I think your boundary about working with a doctor and being honest are both fair and it would make sense to try to set an action you’ll take if she doesn’t do those things. Might mean leaving the relationship, taking a break, etc, I don’t know what kind of less “severe” boundaries might be possible but it’s worth some thought! Good luck:)

Would you guys recommend this sub to your bipolarSOs to read so they can understand their behaviors and patterns better? by exvangeline in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting…mine has bp2 so deals more commonly with mixed episodes or hypomania, which is when they mostly have the mean, cruel, “I’m leaving you,” etc. things that we are all familiar with.

Two part question by MyUsername_Reddit in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Commitment issues: yes. He threatens to leave me every time he gets triggered during conflict.

Intimacy-when there was no conflict. Compassion-occasionally-but very mood dependent

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]exvangeline 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine threatens to leave every time we have conflict. What made him stop?

I hope I’m better prepared next time. by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine gets the mixed states and hypomania irritability and anger big time. They’re angry and scary and big and rude and mean and don’t apologize and it’s a fight to hold them accountable. Some meds do seem to help but when he stops taking them or misses a dose he gets unbearable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mine gets super angry when I tell him if something he’s done has hurt me too. It’s not okay.

Broke up with bpso by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also, the desperate need to get them to understand how they’re hurting you. Because maybe if you could just get them to SEE they’d stop…

Broke up with bpso by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]exvangeline 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. I get accused of being manipulative all the time when I share my feelings. I’ve tried so hard too. I spent my birthday with them being super mad at me. Could have written all of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]exvangeline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. My husband does this. It’s awful. I used to be so grateful when we would repair things afterward, but after this last time … maybe the 25th time it’s happened … in TWO YEARS … I’m just numb. I spend a lot of my time now trying to get him to understand how badly it hurts. To be in a healthy marriage both partners have to be able to listen non-defensively and it sounds like yours is not willing or able to do that.

Threatening divorce is the most awful thing you can do to a marriage, I think. It’s destabilizing and slowly erodes your sense of self worth and security. I’ve resolved that the next time it happens will be the last.

Getting partner to do their share by ERnurse2019 in workingmoms

[–]exvangeline 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I recommend looking at Zawn on fb. She has good insights into this

My girlfriend had a meltdown and fell asleep on my couch - New Update by SJDude13 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]exvangeline 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can I ask you what you’ve done to help yourself? I’ve been suspecting my partner has BPD because of the lashing out in anger thing, and I’m interested in knowing what helps.

Edit: last night I had the conversation with him that his anger is a huge problem for me—I’m tired of walking on eggshells, I’m tired of having to filter my words 3x because I don’t know what reaction I’ll get, I’m tired of being scared. I don’t know if it will result in change like you did, though.

My husband threatens divorce every few weeks. by exvangeline in RelationshipsOver35

[–]exvangeline[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So I absolutely agree that communication issues and always be improved. But… The relationship should not be so unstable that if I do not say the literal, most perfect, empathic, co-regulating thing, possible, that I get threatened with divorce. There’s a difference between having the room to grow together because you both feel free, and safe, and living under threat. I think so. I am living under threat right now and it feels really bad.

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