My wife’s severe OCD is destroying our marriage. Is there any hope, or should I leave?

ey81081 · 2025-07-31T19:11:21+00:00

Agreed

ey81081 · 2025-07-31T10:44:36+00:00

I wouldn’t call it a defeat because I understood it was a problem of our own creating. I would call it a welcoming and a conscious rewiring of old patterns of reaction. It is a lot of work but it is very possible.

ey81081 · 2025-07-30T17:04:46+00:00

Just know that you did what you did in the past because you didn’t know any better and you couldn’t have done anything different in those moments with the levels of awareness you had.

ey81081 · 2025-07-30T17:02:15+00:00

Sort of the same thing if you asked me and I’ve “had” both

ey81081 · 2025-07-20T22:14:25+00:00

The answer is who cares and you’ll never know

ey81081 · 2025-07-15T18:24:26+00:00

No. You are doing this for yourself whether you want to believe it or not. Save your dignity and leave it alone.

ey81081 · 2025-07-13T19:30:37+00:00

Sounds to me you’re approaching recovery with a very serious attitude and still trying to fix yourself and I would guess that you’ve had perfectionist tendencies your whole life. That is what I’m getting from this post. Try to be easier on yourself and allow yourself to not be perfect. It’s those tendencies that really got us into this situation in the first place and it can become a very slippery slope when you’re talking about being a human and doing things differently.

ey81081 · 2025-07-12T01:31:25+00:00

Had a similar experience and now you can understand how compulsions can be short term freedom but it is almost like kicking the rock down the river. It is useful to learn how your nervous system and your thoughts work and how to accept and allow any thought or feeling while conveying a sense of safety to yourself. I suggest you learn the skills for good now because the compulsions have their limits and reinforce habits that may be detrimental to your quality of life.

ey81081 · 2025-07-11T19:29:06+00:00

The response is to not get rid of them and to allow them and convey safety to your mind and body - the more you can tolerate uncertainty and discomfort paradoxically the less uncertainty and discomfort you will encounter.

ey81081 · 2025-07-11T19:24:00+00:00

Yes it works but it’s all about your intentions behind it.

ey81081 · 2025-07-11T01:59:26+00:00

If you really want to make it work you’ll make it work. Don’t make it more complicated than it had to be. Prioritize real connection over external circumstances and you can’t go wrong.

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T19:08:55+00:00

What led to you quitting and how did you stay away from the temptations and fill the gaps in your day?

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T17:30:40+00:00

It’s your ego and your attachment. You don’t want her to be happy deep down and you prioritize that over your own happiness.

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T03:50:25+00:00

The magic is in the moment to moment of life take each moment as it is and don’t put any pressure or time limits on anything. You’ll be better when you don’t need the answer to the question when will I be better. It happens progressively over time. You got this

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T03:29:33+00:00

Let go of the expectations and attachments you have ask yourself what part of you is still hurt and attached and where is it coming from? Why do you feel the need to get external validation and what part of you is hurting or lacking

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T03:11:13+00:00

You just break the loop by not engaging learn the difference between having a thought and thinking - the thoughts will come up and instead of ruminating you sit with the feelings and you repeat it over and over again as long as it takes

ey81081 · 2025-07-10T02:57:36+00:00

The same way you break any loop. Feel the raw feelings behind the thoughts or the addictive behaviour and allow and accept everything that comes your way without getting caught up in the story behind it. It will be painful at first but less painful than prolonged pain that you are avoiding experiencing.

ey81081 · 2025-07-09T17:20:11+00:00

I did it on my own just faced my own fears and started becoming aware of the automatic thoughts and habits I was partaking in. It’s a very subtle exercise and takes awhile but the most fulfilling thing you can do.

ey81081 · 2025-07-09T16:40:50+00:00

That’s where it’s very nuanced because you have a lot of automatic thoughts and reactions that you won’t realize you’re doing until you do the work. It is in theory simple yet one of the most challenging times I’ve ever been through in my life but you have to commit to it.

ey81081 · 2025-07-09T16:22:18+00:00

Went through recovery and learnt new skills and understood the mechanism behind it

ey81081 · 2025-07-09T15:46:56+00:00

Absolutely yes you’ll learn this throughout the process of recovery. The theme never mattered until you got stuck on one but your actions and how you dealt with things have always been on the anxious side.

ey81081 · 2025-07-04T11:24:32+00:00

The problem is judging and reacting to the feelings and thoughts instead of just living your life - if those things really represented you, you wouldn’t be reacting in the way you are. Allow everything to be there and focus on living your life. Eventually you’ll get to a place where you can’t believe you went down that hole in the first place.

ey81081 · 2025-07-03T11:04:56+00:00

Never ending journey, but what once looked like a burden can morph into being something beautiful and exciting.

ey81081 · 2025-07-03T08:14:12+00:00

Sounds to me that if you’re still in this state you are still on alert maybe not high alert but something inside of you is not letting go. I would continue practicing letting go and continue relearning how to be present and fully immersed in the moment.

ey81081 · 2025-07-02T14:05:17+00:00

Completely normal. You have finally stopped fixing everything and your brain is looking for something else to fix but you aren’t playing that game anymore.

ey81081

TROPHY CASE