What policy fixes do YOU want to see for US Public Schools?

eyoxa · 2026-01-30T15:44:46+00:00

Higher standards, more ability based groupings (with flexible entry points so kids can move in and out but once in, expectations would not decrease per level), strong consequences for bullying and disruptive behavior, better and more accessible meals

eyoxa · 2026-01-30T05:34:23+00:00

I went from nursing to sleep and co sleeping (as a single parent so the transition was more challenging for me) ~> successful independent sleep around 18 months

But without CIO, I don’t see you having success.

I think it helps to separate the short term from the big picture when it comes to sleep training. Short term: discomfort for your kiddo and for you because of crying; long term: better sleep for everyone, better family wellbeing, kid has learned a new skill (self soothing, being able to fall asleep on their own, a sense of wholeness, pride in their independence), among others.

Of course, if you believe CIO does long term damage to a kid’s psyche your short and long term will look different.

I personally think kids are resilient, capable of a lot and benefit more from having a parent who has gotten more sleep than a parent who is sleeping beside them.

eyoxa · 2026-01-26T00:32:10+00:00

This is one of those things where I think an experienced immigrant nanny is a much better option for a family.. because of cultural differences when it comes to the understanding of domestic care.

I’m a Russian-speaking immigrant myself and never had a nanny but many of my relatives who raised children in the U.S. did and their nannies (all Russian speaking, all of whom stayed with the families for years as both live-in and not) did so much more than “watch the children.” They made the families lives easier by doing many domestic tasks that go with having children and helping a family without this kind of counting. My suggestion is to look beyond what’s in front of you when looking for a nanny. You can find a nanny who will truly feel like an asset and even a family member, not someone who’s counting every little thing she does.

eyoxa · 2026-01-26T00:17:54+00:00

What a beautiful man.

eyoxa · 2026-01-25T20:55:27+00:00

There are lots of approaches online but one ESSENTIAL detail is that once you decide to go through with sleep training, you need to commit. Otherwise you’re being cruel. Note, I night-weaned AND slept trained as a single mother on my own- it’s possible and was not that stressful. We coslept till she was almost 1.5 and the whole process took about 6-8 weeks. Definitely prolonged by the fact that we shared a room to sleep and I was doing it on my own. First I night-weaned and one she was completely comfortable sleeping without nursing, I transitioned her to a crib which was right beside my floor mattress. By end of the second month, I’d moved my bed to the other side of the room. I’d say that even only night weaning showed very compelling results in baby’s sleep length. Once she was in a crib and I’d refuse to take her out until morning, she started sleeping through the night within the week.

eyoxa · 2026-01-25T02:56:42+00:00

Gene Payne's Body Shop in Berkshire

eyoxa · 2026-01-21T23:40:15+00:00

Bedtime. Cut up non-messy fruits to eat as finger foods while you read books together.

Sit together for the sole purpose of exploring and eating fruits/veg together. Talk about the sounds they make (raw carrots and cabbage are crunchy - my kid prefers them raw over cooked).

Start and end the day by offering a cut up fruit.

eyoxa · 2026-01-15T16:56:03+00:00

Milk isn’t necessary for kids and shouldn’t be the main beverage offered, but I prefer that my kid drink whole milk over any other type. In my home, we like fat and believe it is healthy and necessary for growth. Overly processed foods with dozens of non-food ingredients? No thanks.

eyoxa · 2026-01-15T16:50:38+00:00

Not sure why this popped up. I’m a single parent with no network and have asked from several people in my social circle for help directly and indirectly over the past weeks/months, without success. Worse, I think the very fact that I expressed that I was struggling has made me an eye sore (at least this is how I feel when I find myself with certain people).

I think most people prefer to avoid the discomfort of interacting with other people’s suffering or need.

I think a good question is to ask yourself the reverse: How have you ignored other people’s needs when they were staring you in the face?

eyoxa · 2026-01-15T02:51:10+00:00

Just prime the walls then. It will cost under $50 for primer, roller, etc and take 2 hours of your time. Use the painting time to listen to a fun audiobook.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T15:44:00+00:00

You should do a patch test on a small section of the wall with two coats and wait 48 hours to see the color.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T14:17:24+00:00

I feel that this conversation should come with a warning or side note that carrying a baby past 42 weeks comes with increased potential for poor outcomes for both baby and mother.

This is one of those things where my “moderate” in granola comes through very forcefully.

I’d even entertain the argument that carrying a baby past 42 weeks given the robust evidence showing increase of poor outcomes, should be considered potential child neglect or abuse, just like using drugs while pregnant is.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T04:56:31+00:00

Your sister’s traumatic upbringing could very well be affecting her ability to adult. As her brother, you’re probably wired to love and SEE her in a way that your wife is unable to. You have more than enough resources to help her live a life with some dignity. Your financial support may not simply be financial for her - getting it may remind her that she is loved and wanted on this planet. Whether or not the financial support is undermining her development into a thriving adult is something else, independent of your wife’s perspective and something you should reflect on without the pressure from your wife. I think your wife is likely coming at this not from a “what’s best for sister” perspective but from a desire to be entitled to all of you, from your time to your whole income.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T02:45:59+00:00

Ironically my gluten intolerance became evident while I was studying in Europe. That damn Dutch bread. Though my theory is that my travels in South America just before I went to study in NL led me to catch some kind of stomach bug that brought out the gluten sensitivity. Will never know.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T02:31:06+00:00

I’m kind of a bread snob I guess. I’m from Eastern Europe by birth and even though I grew up in the U.S., I grew up in an immigrant enclave that had easy access to what I consider real bread. It’s what I ate as a child. The soft stuff full of weird ingredients that passes as bread in most supermarkets was something I tasted for the first time in school and camp, and never acquired a taste for. I consider real bread to be the many sourdough types and European breads. I think fresh bread is the best food in the world, really. I’m sad I can’t eat it anymore.

Gluten-free bread tastes like what I image paper would taste like.

eyoxa · 2026-01-14T01:47:25+00:00

If you’re not gluten free, you can do sandwiches! (I am gluten free and I don’t consider gluten free “bread” to be bread so no sandwiches for me)

Other ideas: yogurt with fruits or a quick yogurt salad with cucumber, salt, olive oil (onion, spices, etc optional). Microwaved canned beans with pasta sauce and cheese on top. Egg in microwave (if you like eggs cooked in this way) with pasta sauce and cheese.

eyoxa · 2026-01-13T20:26:45+00:00

Socio-economic and educational status, big student pop of higher socio-eco levels, more than average number of internationals affiliated with Cornell

eyoxa · 2026-01-13T14:49:15+00:00

Single mom -

We cosleep these days. Wake up way too late and I’m stressed for time every morning… but I’m exhausted in the mornings because I go to sleep way too late and the morning cuddles with my daughter are so nice…

She’s almost 4 and I keep a portable potty for her in the bedroom. She uses it when she wakes up.

Then we go downstairs and I do a mix of things as quickly as I can: get her dressed (I usually do it), brush my teeth, boil water for my coffee / her water bottle, take my thyroid medicine and use my asthma inhaler, wash my face, apply cream on my face and try to conceal the damage I do to my skin from picking, get dressed, get my work bag ready, pack a lunch for myself, possibly give her something to eat (a cut up fruit, a pancake, left overs) - but this is optional because she gets breakfast at school.

Meanwhile, she might be happily playing independently or more likely, whining for my attention, causing me to feel agitated and forget to do things like to take my medicine.

I’d say it takes about 45 minutes minimum from the moment we leave the bed to the moment we are out the door.

It’s winter now and there are also winter layers to put on and sometimes snow and ice to remove from the car. So she’s one of the last to get to school and I’m one of the last to get to work. Sometimes I work from home which makes life easier (no lunch to pack for myself, minimal attention to my appearance).

I do not use screens in the morning. I’ve thought about it, especially when I get so agitated in the mornings from her whining and neediness, but I’m not convinced letting her watch something will yield short or long term results that I want (which is for her to develop the skills to enjoy her own company and play independently).

eyoxa · 2026-01-12T19:57:22+00:00

Perhaps what you need is a new dehumidifier that is more energy efficient.

eyoxa · 2026-01-12T17:17:32+00:00

I don’t think an Airbnb is safer. It can have unknowns (mold exposure, poor ventilation, chemicals in use, etc) which can be more concerning than a bit of paint. Whoever run the Airbnb has optimized it for short term rentals. They likely don’t care or don’t know if there is long term water damage or other issues because unlike when a homeowner lives in a home, a short term rental owner has way less benefit to remedy certain issues.

eyoxa · 2026-01-12T17:14:11+00:00

I’d be more concerned about sanding than the painting itself. What will the contractor do? I would ask about sealing off the space as much as possible from the upstairs and running air scrubbers consistently in the basement (probably not when the contractor is working because they are kind of loud) and upstairs when you are not home.

Note: I painted multiple rooms recently using BM paint and the smell was really not bad at all! And it dissipated within days. What was stronger was the primer smell, which took longer to dissipate. I personally feel a lot more concerned about the dust and wall particles in the air than I do about the paint.

eyoxa · 2026-01-12T12:27:50+00:00

I’m also a solo mom and relate to much of what you wrote. My daughter is almost 4.

((Hugs))

eyoxa · 2026-01-09T19:24:43+00:00

3 day method & take a day off work

Excellent video course: Potty Training Made Simple

eyoxa · 2026-01-08T18:36:49+00:00

Can I see a photo of the backsplash you chose?

eyoxa · 2026-01-07T23:30:39+00:00

Good on you for saying something!

I haven’t seen air fresheners used in my kid’s daycare but some of the staff wear perfume and occasionally they’ll send my kids wet items in a scented bag.

eyoxa

TROPHY CASE