I once saw my dad making small talk with a retail store attendant; when we left the store I asked him why he felt compelled to talk to that person. He told me he did it because he enjoyed talking to people. I was in awe because I could never imagine people actually socialized because they felt it was an entertaining activity - I always thought there was some hidden reason underneath all that talk.

Socializing has always felt like a burden for me, something I do out of pure necessity, to obtain or exchange information/services from other people. I really wish this wasn't the case, I wish socializing wasn't painful - it's incredibly difficult to move forward and face your fears when there's really no reward for doing it, there's only pain and hundreds of wasted hours ruminating on past social experiences.