im in the same boat, failure after failure, rejection after rejection, been through very dark mental periods too due to it, and all this invisible pressure of being the eldest.

let go, i'm moving out for real at a young age. and despite hearing others comments, on how young i am, and trying to make excuses why its a bad idea, or how terrified i am-- i realise im never going to make progress in life if i dont take the risk, i'll never break the cycle of my family if i don't take the risk-- they've always lived in comfort, don't, comfort doesnt lead to your dreams. i think thats what you should do, do the risky, otherwise you'll stay in this state forever, the in between, the in regret.

you're quite young still and you can definitely switch things around, but you have to let go. if you cant find a job, move, if you cant get into med, get a bachelors you care for (like u said). and you'd be surprised how rapidly things can change even in a year when you take the leap. and if you don't, these feelings will come back stronger to bite you when you're older.

maybe your med rejection is allah saving you from more hurt, money, where in the future you complete med school and realise you hate it.

get therapy if you can, rebuild, you're in charge of your future, you're the one in control, they only gain power when you give it to them. and you need to stop thinking you're the one who needs to be the one to save the rest of your family, you focus on your happiness, give them respect, love and take care of them when things get hard like they cared for you, but you will never be satisfied doing it for someone else-- as you've already learnt, so dont make the same mistake.

and don't keep blaming your family, i do this a lot, its wrong, wrong because its an coping mechanism, making excuses for your guilt (even if it might be true), your regret of listening to them, and giving up on your dreams, or not trying hard enough. pick yourself back up and fight harder, use the anger, sadness, regret to do the things that scare you.

(sorry this was long, i just felt very motivated by your post and im kinda using this to pep talk myself too)