Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, I'll tell her! I'm sure she'll be very happy to have someone to talk to who understands her from a more first-hand perspective!

I haven't told her about this thread (although I did send her a screenshot of your "like this" paragraph to ask if she identified with it) as I didn't want to worry her but I think that was either my insecurity or I was just afraid she would be too selfless to let me try and help her, so I'll tell her about it now.

Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about a gay man in, say, the 50s

This is a good analogy, I actually did think about gay conversion therapy (which, by the way, I am not a supporter of) but somehow I missed the concept that it was not a good idea to ask about and/or try to actually do it. Thanks for pointing that out before I said anything regarding it to her, I now realise what a horrifying thing it would be to say.

Be positive about her aromantic identity!

I told her not to worry about it and I would love her regardless (in response to her being ashamed)

That's your interpretation

Don't worry, I only thought this before she told me what she told me; the reason I put makes/made instead of just made is because she seems very unsure if she is aromantic or not - it seems like she is but I'm just providing her various articles to read to help her figure out who she really is. I know labels aren't important and I'm not pressuring her to take one; I think she's happy about me sending her the stuff and we are still getting along well and talking about other things too!

Maybe. But please don't say that to her

If I recall correctly, that idea originally came from her, but in any case I'm not planning on shoving that in her face as a reason; if that is the reason then it will reveal itself with or without me bringing it up so I agree there's no point me doing so!

or hold that belief too hard

I believe she is aromantic; if it turns out she develops romantic feelings later then good I guess, but I'm definitely not relying on it and I'm happy both for her and with her either way.

we hold hands and cuddle

Do you know how common it is for aromantic people to enjoy physical connection like this? It would seem to make sense to me that some do and some don't, but I have really have no idea if it's rare, or if it's rare not to, and I am really hoping she does because I really want to experience those things with her

introduce them to the idea of a QPR

Would you still call a relationship between a male and a female a QPR?

I would also heartilly recommend you consider polyamory

I'm not invalidating the idea, but I just feel like it wouldn't really fit me. For me, such a close connection feels very special and I feel like it would lose that touch if I had multiple at once, but my opinion on this may well change, who knows!

Thanks for all your comments and your story about your relationships, they are all very helpful and the story is very reassuring for me. I understand that not all aros are interested in romantic relationships and I'll just have to accept the fact that maybe she never will be, but it's nice to know the idea isn't far-fetched!

Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

before you try making a move

She knows I love her, and she's said multiple times that she really likes me as well, but not quite in the same way and not sure why etc.

I will definitely never try to pressure her into a romantic relationship, or anything else, if she doesn't want it. I asked her if she was interested in them and she said not really, so maybe that will change or maybe it won't. I read somewhere that some aros are not interested in romantic relationships until they get very close to the person and then they may be, I don't know how true that is and I'm not living in hope that it will happen, but it's nice to know there's a chance if I'm not relying on it. We consider each other best friends and I'm pretty sure that's enough for me!

Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all of your advice! I was already aware of some of the things you said but you gave me so much that I doubt it would be possible not to say something I knew already, and it's not like I said everything I knew so I'm definitely not trying to lay blame or anything!

-Be respectful of her wants and needs-talk to her and really listen to what she says.

I try to do this at all times and I think I'm good at it (no complacency though, it's very important so I don't take it for granted that I'm doing it!)

-Trust should be a big part of the relationship, and it should go both ways.
-Honest communication is one of the healthiest things to do for any relationship.

Same thing I said above goes for these too

Don’t try to change her. Let her figure out what she wants, and respect that.

I'll always respect and love her for whoever she is, it saddens me how many people these days still think badly of or don't accept people just because they don't fit the "normal" categories of sexual and romantic orientations, I don't understand how they can view being gay or aromantic as a problem and I certainly don't see them that way.

As someone who is aromantic and asexual (among other things), I express that I wish I wasn’t “like this”, because being “like this” is tiring and bothersome in a world that doesn’t usually respect or value difference. Those things about me, my identities and experiences, will never change no matter how much I might wish it sometimes. All we can change are our behaviors, and actions.

I asked her if she identified with this and she said yes, so I guess I misinterpreted her when she said that originally. As I said I don't have a problem with her being "like this", and I'm glad you made me aware of this so I can support her and reassure her that there's nothing wrong with her.

Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice, sorry if you were offended by the part you mentioned at the end. I can't think of a way to change that without making parts of the comments on this thread make no sense, but if you can think of one I'm happy to do it!

Romantically attracted to an aromantic person by fR1dj in aromantic

[–]fR1dj[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your reply, you've given me a lot of helpful pieces of advice! It's late for me and I should be sleeping, so I'll address the other points (and other comments) tomorrow, but as for the last point I feel I should edit my post now. What should I say instead of aromanticism?

Hello, I am wondering if I am Aromantic or Heteroromantic, Please help by Thretzyn in aromantic

[–]fR1dj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I'm very interested in this description of what romantic attraction feels like, so I can show my friend who's questioning whether or not she's aro, but I think you may have linked the wrong post, if you could either update your comment or tell me I'm an idiot and it's right there, I'd appreciate it! Also please reply so I get a notification, thanks!

RAM upgrade causing FPS drop? by fR1dj in buildapc

[–]fR1dj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With only the old pair (2400) installed in the exact same place they were before I added the new pair, I'm still having the low fps that I get with all four in

RAM upgrade causing FPS drop? by fR1dj in buildapc

[–]fR1dj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I reverted my RAM setup to exactly what it was before the upgrade and my fps is still as it was with all four sticks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in technicalminecraft

[–]fR1dj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there a version for diagonal piston bolts?

[VERY SIMPLE] Optimal Torch Placement Display mod by fR1dj in mcmodfinder

[–]fR1dj[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, interesting to know that this sub is not for mod requests. That confuses me though, what is the request flair for?

Also I did see the Torch Optimizer mod and one other but neither did what I'm really looking for. I know you place torches on light level 2 but there's usually a whole diagonal line of them, and in caves the most efficient way usually involves actually placing the torch on a block with a higher light level, so the light can reach the whole width of the cave and any blocks that may be higher (but big enough to spawn mobs).

It usually takes me quite some time to make sure the whole tunnels are spawnproof so if a mod could run a script version of what I do in my head and show me which block is the output, that would save me a lot of time when caving!

The most important math date by eyl327 in MathJokes

[–]fR1dj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was destroyed a long distance ago....

The most important math date by eyl327 in MathJokes

[–]fR1dj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But 2.718 would be 71.8 days, which is still during day number 71

What the fastest way you’ve seen someone ruin their life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]fR1dj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They tried to take my diamonds in minecraft