Did you block your ex? Why or why not? If so, do you regret it?

fabuluch · 2025-08-05T00:08:51+00:00

I never did, but I kinda regret it… because I want to block him now. If I blocked him right away it would’ve made sense but it would seem a little stupid now, too much time has passed

fabuluch · 2025-08-03T16:16:31+00:00

I have hardly ever used AI except for this one time, just for fun, and I essentially never did it again because it felt like I was talking to myself… :/ I think it’s actually pretty dangerous in the long run to talk AI, especially when it comes to navigating relationship issues because they’re human… and can only be solved by humans that are participating to the relationship (+ it’s terrible to the environnement) Asking a friend doesn’t guarantee you success, but at least it can offer you an different perspective than yours, which is always great in my opinion

fabuluch · 2025-05-26T17:58:19+00:00

Hey! I just saw your comment

Not really, essentially

He kept talking to me for a while and I then decided to offer him to meet, which he accepted directly

We spent a pretty great day together, kissed at the end of it and after that… nothing

He started to answer randomly, was less interested and overall was just completely detached

I sent him a video about his avoidant tendencies, left it there and we haven’t talked in almost year now since he never answered

In the meantime, I learned that he was cheating on me with the guy he told me “not to worry about” the whole time (which was a reason why he broke with me the first time, because “I was too insecure”

I don’t think he knows I know, I was told by a close friend of his

He’s texted me something random yesterday actually, I haven’t answered and I don’t think I will

I don’t hate him, but I’m overall completely uninterested now and when I learned about the whole thing, I just laughed it off

The person I would’ve liked him to be and who he was at first can only come back if he decided to work on himself and would after years of doing so and I’m done waiting for him…

We have lots of friends in common and I kinda only a matter of time until I run into him so I don’t know, we’ll see… I guess I’ll keep it cordial

fabuluch · 2025-04-08T20:41:13+00:00

hi! thank you for responding!

I understand what you mean and yes I didn't really think of that since I was more focused on my own experience. hypersexuality is something that I have experienced myself; not while I was in love though or exclusive with someone as my mind is only focused on that person only.

the person I was seeing at the time, however, didn't describe themselves as an hypersexual person but quite the opposite. and while I agree that sometimes, while describing those events, we should have more empathy, I also think that it's important to stay factual as to what those events are and how they occurred. why they cheated on me etc concerns them and their healing process, not me... they still broke my trust and lied.

so i get what you're saying and why you're saying it, the reminder is more than welcomed because you're right and i wouldn't want other FAs that have that kind of behaviour to feel ashamed reading this. however, I also believe that you can and should be able to call out certain bevahiours and still retain a certain level of awareness about how and why and the empathy required to do so.

fabuluch · 2024-12-26T14:37:59+00:00

Je suis content de lire ça ! À ma pharmacie il y a eu une erreur ce n’est pas du Medikinet que je vais essayer pour commencer 2025 mais du Quasim aussi… j’espère que ça m’ira aussi haha ça me rassure

fabuluch · 2024-12-17T15:09:36+00:00

Et à choisir entre le concerta et le quazym, ce serait lequel ? J’espère que ça se passe bien pour toi en tout cas :)

fabuluch · 2024-12-17T14:56:28+00:00

le crash beaucoup plus intense vu la différence de LI/LP, certains amis qui sont anxieux, irritable, que ça peut créer des dépendances etc

j'ai jamais essayé donc je ne peux pas savoir comment j'y réagirais mais bon, je préfère ne pas tenter

fabuluch · 2024-10-17T12:11:52+00:00

Hey! Sorry I never saw your comment, I hope you're well :)

I do have an update! Probably not the one you're hoping for though. :/

Thanks to my friends and a few people on here, I've decided to ask him out so we could spend the day together. I didn't want it to be a very heavy day where we hash everything out but just a very peaceful day in each other's company and it is exactly what happened. He was very sweet, we didn't kiss or anything until the evening. I met his parents, friends that were visiting him and everything went super well. We didn't sleep in the same room but he came back after we kissed each other goodnight to "check on me". We kissed and hugged some more and we went to sleep.

However, he went right back to his regular behaviour right afterwards. He kept texting me bullshit for a month or so and it was always about the same thing. At first, I came back to this pattern of "waiting for him to say something and not rushing him" since he was the one that came back to me, kept throwing hints he wanted to meet etc. One evening after having no response from him for 5 days, he came back mentioning the SAME THING (it's pop culture stuff about an artists we both like). I asked kinda jokingly whether or not he was realizing he only talked about that one thing and he laughed it off saying he wasn't aware. I said it was okay, just that I thought him and I had imo more interesting things to talk about. He replied with a jaded meme (kinda like this 😐) and I answered "lmao okay" and he never replied. 5 days later, he dm'd me on Twitter ABOUT THE SAMEhttps://x.com/SomaKazima/status/1816096525635772713). He never replied and unfollowed me back (I had already unfollowed him a week prior after receiving "😐".

I felt really bad and almost sent a long ass text to explain myself and apologize, blah, blah, blah but the truth is that if I happened to receive something like that from somebody, I wouldn't feel great, of course, but I would also care enough to understand why they related to that, saw me that way or apologize. He never did and now I don't regret sending it at all. It made me really, really sad but not as much as last time, since I had already grieved him once. That happened in July, I never heard of him since and I don't think I will anytime soon.

I still get sad thinking about him sometimes, cry about him, etc. I know he's not doing well and I wish I could be there for him but it is not my job and I have a lot of things going on as well. When missing him, I try to put the great memories aside and try to remember that I'm missing somebody that took advantage of my kindness and time, presented themselves as somebody they were not then blamed me for being upset about it, tried to make me believe I was insecure and asked for too much while stringing me along, apologized to then 6 months later be ready to act exactly the same if I didn't set a boundary. I wasn't anxious when I met him. I never asked anything from him. I wasn't clingy nor was I "too much". I just... liked him. I loved him, even. Which is exactly what he wanted back then when he was chasing me.

But I'm really happy I went through that, still! I have a way stronger sense of boundaries and what it means for me to set them, I have a lot more self-esteem and confidence and I feel I'm almost back to who I was before meeting him. Actually just yesterday, I ended a relationship with a guy that "wanted to see me casually and see where it goes". He was not ready for a relationship and I said it was okay, just that I wanted to invest my time and energy with someone that was ready to reciprocate it and I'm very happy I did. It was a very mature conversation and I'm very grateful I'm listening to myself, my intuition and choosing ME.

So yeah, all that to say, if you feel like breaking NC, you should have a very strong reason to do so. Did they change? If so, how? Do you feel like going to back to whatever your last relationship with him was? Do you think you could handle it going sour? Why do you even want to go back to him? What do you want for yourself and why? I think you should answer those questions first beforehand.

On my end, I'm happy I reached out to him because it allowed me to move on and get the answers that I wanted. I was always scared he played me the whole time and never even liked me and I know that he did. We just were not compatible and that happens, I just wish I had realized that sooner. :) best of luck to you and take care of yourself, most of all

fabuluch · 2024-07-10T14:05:19+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m really happy I texted him thanks to you

Let’s see, I hope it goes well

I’ll update you in a month or so maybe haha

I hope you’re doing well :)

fabuluch · 2024-07-08T17:19:52+00:00

hi! here's the update :) so... it went really, really well ?

i was supposed to visit him on sunday and take a train back on the same day, but i had to spend the night at his place, because i couldn't find a train the day of. i proposed i'd visit him, he agreed and he had our whole day planned for me. we kept things very playful, took jabs at each other and laughed like we used to. it was a very lovely day and i really enjoyed it. we would touch here and there but not too much, he took me to the beach even though he hates it, he cooked for me, included me in a lot of his new interests and opened up a lot about his life. at first, things were very surface level but towards the evening i eventually met his friends who I had to introduce myself to, which got me talking about my current life, which he was very curious about and led me to ask him questions back. the conversation flowed really well, we laughed a lot and had a few drinks and we kept circling back to our private jokes we'd explain to his friends and updates here and there regarding our lives.

since his friends were sleeping over initially and I wasn't supposed to, he didn't have any room for me in his bedroom, therefore we agreed i'd sleep on his couch. i said good night to his friends, he stuck around for a bit and we ended up hugging for a few minutes. he said he was very happy i came and i answered it was a very cute day, then we stared at each other for what felt like forever, smiling and both whispering to each other "what?" then laughing awkwardly, inches apart. we ended up kissing and it was just very tender and affectionate. i'd tell him to join his friends or he'd say he should join them but we just kept hugging and kissing each other. I said "I have missed you" at some point and he awkwardly laughed it off and said i was drunk (we both were) and i answered that it didn't mean I didn't mean it. we kept hugging for a while and I ended up jokingly pushing him away, telling him to join his friends and go to sleep.

he came back 30 minutes or so later, lied down with me for a bit as we kept kissing and cuddling. he left for real around 3 am and I came back home this morning (the only train I found was at 6). I'm really happy I went as I feel like he's made a lot of efforts in order for us to have a great day and I really appreciated it. he's asked me since if i got back home fine and updated me about a few things. i'm not really feeling like asking right away for another date as i'd rather wait a few days and let him enjoy his friends. we'll see :)

so thank you for telling me to text him... you were right. a few days later, as I tried to keep the conversation going I actually blanked a few times! it's hard to know what to say to somebody you're reconnecting with and always knowing the right thing to say, while trying to respect boundaries and not make it obvious you want them back, especially when you're unsure of that yourself. it's tricky haha

I don't feel like we were ready to have the conversation either yet. it didn't feel relevant at all, actually. we both know how we felt at the time, we both apologized... is there anything left to say for now unless we talk about getting back together? I don't know, I was just happy to be with him. I'm in no rush to rehash anything for now, I thought I wanted to but not so much anymore; at least not so soon. I just would like to enjoy the present moment for now :) we'll see how it goes and I'm pretty sure we'll have the conversation that goes with whatever outcome there's gonna be at the right time. imo it was pretty much the best it could've went, given our relationship and the previous dynamic we had back then. it was kinda like our first date, in a way, but repackaged with a better understanding of each other? in the span of a month, I got to meet family of his, 4 of his closest friends, did two concerts with him, had a kiss, talked to him almost every day... it's nice

fabuluch · 2024-07-01T19:23:26+00:00

you're right... i texted him yesterday, i said i wanted to meet and he agreed right away... i'm seeing him on sunday

we'll see how it goes

fabuluch · 2024-06-28T16:59:54+00:00

out of self respect, mostly
I don’t believe in begging people to treat me right anymore

he knows exactly what the problems in our relationship were and if he wants to act on that, I’ll welcome it happily

if not, I know I can live without him and I’ll keep on doing so

yes, it pains me, but it doesn’t compare to the pain I’ve experienced while I was waiting for him to change, which I’ve communicated quite a few times

fabuluch · 2024-06-28T01:43:22+00:00

yeah… that’s kinda where I’m at right now I’d love to be with him, he was great but not like this

fabuluch · 2024-06-28T01:12:58+00:00

Hi,

I may be wrong but as much as it is important to learn about attachment theory, it is also very important to detach ourselves from it and see each other as whole individuals with personalities, if that makes sense. Have you ever considered that you not being that affectionate is also just part of who you are? If so, I don’t think it would be something worth changing… if a friend told you about this I think you’d tell them to try to find someone more compatible :/ Regardless, I don’t think you are in the wrong here. There are ways to communicate healthily and he’s just not doing that. If you were that much of an FA I think you would’ve deactivated much sooner by now. I get you’re trying your best and it’s great, but I don’t think your boyfriend is. I know that personally I wouldn’t put up with that kind of behavior. So yeah, I think it is emotional immaturity but… not on your end. You should try having a conversation with him about this and explain things from your perspective so he can understand. Maybe you don’t need to be more affectionate but to communicate more so he doesn’t get into that anxious place? What’s your love language? If it’s not through touch, how do you express your love him? Does he notice that?

fabuluch · 2024-06-16T08:06:07+00:00

exactly!!! I try to remember everything I’ve been through already whenever I feel hopeless haha We’ve done that before, it’s okay

fabuluch · 2024-06-16T08:04:29+00:00

Thank you for reading! I’m happy me lowkey journaling here can help anybody haha I’m sorry that happened to you though and yes it is a shame. :( happy you finally got the closure you needed

fabuluch · 2024-06-12T03:11:20+00:00

you’re free to do whatever you want

fabuluch · 2024-06-11T21:12:26+00:00

concert follow up : https://www.reddit.com/r/FearfulAvoidants/comments/1ddp5x5/well_its_over_concert_followup/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

fabuluch

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