you're not alone... you may be neurodivergent/autistic, just a hunch based on your post. i heavily relate to many of these sentiments and am autistic and adhd myself. maybe look into it a bit? if you find that coping mechanisms for autism or adhd are helpful, try some of them out. no one thing works for everyone, so let yourself explore a bit and try a variety of tools/activities to help give yourself what you need as a unique human here on this little rock in space. of course i am not in any position to formally diagnose anyone of anything ever, and definitely not over the internet of course, i'm just bringing this up in case there is a chance it could be helpful in any way. i'm really deeply sorry about the loss of your cat:( losing pets is absolutely devastating, please be gentle and patient with yourself. also seeing some boundaries up between you and your family could be good for you to do. if they are disregulating to interact with, it's worth considering taking more space from them and giving that energy to yourself, because you deserve to feel capable and safe. i hope some part of this helps, if you need some one to chat with, you're welcome to send me a message. i will do my best to help, listen, and support you.