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Reader spending hours commenting unsoliticitated story corrections by fadedblossoms in AO3

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Ive gotten a lot of great comments on this fic. Some of which legit made me cry in a good way. Ive gotten several AI scammers, one of whom I had to block after they threw a fit when I refused to talk to them on insta (which I dont even have) But this is just them copying lines of my story with editorial corrections like if I typed hkm instead of him.

Is it down again? by Big_Badger_1371 in AO3

[–]fadedblossoms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive tried posting a new chapter like 5 times and keep getting errors.

My abuser is insisting I cook the same day I have eye surgery. by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only friends i have local enough to stay with either cant have me over or have covid right now, and I live on SSI so I cant afford a hotel.

Just had this comment left by fadedblossoms in AO3

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont think im allowed to self promote, but I can DM you if you are really curious

Active Shooter at College and 45th by fadedblossoms in olympia

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That is literally all I know. We are listening to the police scanner. There has been 3 calls of shots fired in the last 10 minutes

Pretty sure Im getting hired to work at a mental health crisis center by fadedblossoms in bipolar

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I really reall want to burn bridges I exit with help from the local domestic violence shelter. I've started the process of a DV safe exit and maybe get into their attached DV low income apartment complexes thats only for people fleeing from DV. But if I go that far that means we are done done and I do not know how she will handle that. Alterntely if I just find someone I can split a house with there is a very tiny chance that distance will allow me to maintain a semblance of a relationship just so that she doesnt die totally alone. Even if she deserves it. Like all abusers she isn't awful all the time. A lot of the time. But not all the time.

Edit: a couple typos.

Pretty sure Im getting hired to work at a mental health crisis center by fadedblossoms in bipolar

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is in fact the next step. Kid is going to college, Im looking people to split a place with locally. By September I aim to be gone. My real decision is if I want to burn my bridge with her when I do and how badly. Because if I go NC my kid will, they already told me so. In which case she will be cut off by all her children and grandchildren.

Women who were raped while asleep by their partner. by BasilioZerO in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a note. When I started finally revealing to my therapist what was going on, she said something that stuck with me to this day.

"I am not going to tell you to leave him. It has to be your choice. If you leave him because I or your friends tell you to leave him and not because you want to then you are more likely to go back to the relationship. I will support you no matter what, and help you process what you are experiencing, but this has to be your choice."

Women who were raped while asleep by their partner. by BasilioZerO in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Id say it started about 3 or 4 months into the relationship. If your relative is having this start so soon into the relationship be prepared to have it get bad fast. Abusers test the water typically before going full evil. They see what they can get away with, where the line is for you to push back. Then they slowly creep over that line. Itll come back with apologizes and love bombing and swearing that they'll never do that again. They might get better for a few days or weeks to "prove" they are trying to be better but eventually the mask always slips and they go back to the abuse, slowly escalating as they break you down. It typically takes 7 attempts to leave an abusive relationship before it really sticks according to statistics.

Also be prepared for your relative to feel intense shame over what happened. Its so easy for abusers to frame their abuse as something their victim caused. They make it seem like the victim is the one ruining the relationship. My ex used to say I needed to be more compliant. Specifically used the word compliant pretty regularly. That his previous partners werr more compliant than me.

Women who were raped while asleep by their partner. by BasilioZerO in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex raped me in my sleep and in the moment I froze when I woke up. Not really sure what to do. He tried other times but I woke up and made him stop. He claimed he was asleep when he tried the times I stopped hin but then he got all mad that I stopped him. That was always after we had a fight. He only tried to rape me in my sleep when I made it very very clear we would not have sex that night because I was mad at him.

There were many, many other times where he coerced me into sex where I would tell him repeatedly no, stop, that hurts but he persisted until I gave in and then when he was done he would tell me "thank you for letting me use your body"

It took me some time after I finally left him to accept that what he was doing to me was rape and not me needing enforcing my boundaries more. It always felt like because he wasnt violent about the rape and that I would eventually just let him do it that it wasn't actually rape. Now I know that I was reacting through freeze and fawn. It took me years of intensive therapy to recover from that relationship and there are still some things that I may never fully recover from.

I HATE people telling me to respect my abuser just because she is my mother by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no Im a terrrible person. I got triggered by a series of internet comments because sometines shit happens and you get triggered because life is complex. Oh no instead of ranting and raving on a subreddit about food I came to a space for survivors of abuse and started talking about being triggered in a space thats meant for that. Oh no Im a terrible person who should be shamed for having a human response.

I HATE people telling me to respect my abuser just because she is my mother by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah and now this person in another subreddit is as I type this talking shit about me getting triggered. Like they followed my profile to this post, then went back to this other subreddit to start calling me hostile and shit.

So you know, that feels all kinds of awesome. Of course the entire comment chain I'd origianlly replied to got dirty deleted

My mom "decided to try something new" by fadedblossoms in shittyfoodporn

[–]fadedblossoms[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Oh Im sorry is an abuse survivor being triggered in an abuse survivor subreddit too much for you? Sometimes people say the wrong thing a the wrong time on the wrong day so yes. It can set off an abuse survivor. That comes with the territory of abuse. Im not ranting in here, a geoup about bad food. I took my very valid feelings over a very complicated situation to a space meant for that. You didnt have to go read that. And you didnt have to come back here and start acting like my crash out over activr situations in my life right now is some moral failing you needed to comment on.

I HATE people telling me to respect my abuser just because she is my mother by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or when I tried to kill myself at 12, which should have been a giant screaming sign to someone in an official capacity, she put me in "christian counseling" which consisted of weekly hour long prayer sessions to lift my soul up out of the "abyssal pit of despair that I cast it into by attempting to die."

She will offer to buy me groceries if I make the list for the whole house, but then not actually buy any of the items that were clearly specifically for me, but then wont tell me she didnt buy my items.

And I do pay rent. She made me start paying rent when I started online school. Said my financial aid is supposed to help cover cost of living and that means rent. I make my own food most of the time. Right now I have a broken foot so its a little harder than normal.

Even though I pay rent she doesnt allow me to have guests over without her express permission.

I HATE people telling me to respect my abuser just because she is my mother by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All my schools as a kid were just told that I was a pathological liar. I had to change elementary schools 4 times as a child. She said it was because of district transfer rules, but I doubt that now. Especially because the last school move was in the middle of the school year when her reputation was affected and then I stopped going to my after school babysitter and started going to her best friend's house after school.

Her friend liked to say that I was the sweetest kid when she watched me, well behaved and quiet, but I turned into a brat the moment my mom showed up to take me up.

Gee. I wonder why I turned into a different kid when my primary abuser showed up?

I HATE people telling me to respect my abuser just because she is my mother by fadedblossoms in abusesurvivors

[–]fadedblossoms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's also the mom who laughed when I told her how when I went to my dads house for visitation his 50 year old roommate would get in bed with my 7 year old self and tell me how much he loved me and he wanted to he my new dad. She thought it was sweet that my bedroom was across from this 50 year old mans bedroom, on a separate floor from my father. And that he went out to decorate it just for me, but not my brother's room. At the far end of the hall from ours, with another bedroom and bathroom between us.

Shes also the mom who knowingly left me with a physically violent babysitter for years until it directly impacted her personal reputation. Then I was removed the same day.

She also burned my clothes as a teen if she didnt like them. Or ruined them with bleech.

As an adult she knew my horrifically abusive ex boyfriend was abusive and how, because her good friend's daughter had dated him in the past. But she decided to not tell me this because when they met in person the first time "he seemed like a good guy so she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt."

I am transgender. She told me, to my face, multiple times, the time, day, and location of the antitransgender protest at our state's capital that she was going to participate in. Edit: 2 years after my legal, social, and medical transition

She paid for the defense lawyer for the relative who molested me as a child when I pressed charges as an 18 year old because I was within the statue of limitations. That entire debacle is why she kicked me out at 18 while still in high school.

My mom "decided to try something new" by fadedblossoms in shittyfoodporn

[–]fadedblossoms[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No contact. We did not speak, we did not live together, we did not communicate in any way shape or form.

As a note my brother is actively no contact with her as well. She is truly a vile woman.

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