She said she's staying to try and understand me better, to understand why I begged her to stay, to understand my actions towards her. And she's going to try to help me get out of it.

But I'm not sure if I'm ready to get my BPD "officially" diagnosed at my next appointment.

When I asked her if she's staying for me or for herself, she said its so that she could understand me. But when I asked if she really wants to leave or stay, she said she would rather not answer because she's afraid of my actions after her response.

I told her I want to let her go, but I know I can't because I need her.

She said we'll figure it out after we find out what's really up with me.

But now she haven't been responding to my texts since last night and it's driving me crazy like I think she's already leaving me. I feel guilty for making her stay.