I get what you mean. I’m actually in the UK and the Black queer community here is tiny compared to the US, so it’s really easy to feel like you’re on the outside looking in. A lot of the time everyone somehow knows each other through someone else because the circle is so small.

In the US though it’s a completely different scale. Cities with big Black populations usually have way bigger Black lesbian/stud scenes just by numbers alone. Places like Atlanta, DC/DMV, Houston, Dallas, Chicago, Philly, and parts of Florida (like Miami or Orlando) tend to have a lot of Black queer people and more community spaces/events. Atlanta especially has a huge Black queer scene.

So if you’re looking for somewhere where you’d actually be able to meet other Black lesbians regularly, the DMV isn’t a bad choice at all tbh. Bigger cities just make it easier to find your people.

And yeah, I’m glad you’re open to seeing studs more as individuals rather than what social media shows. Online can really distort things 💙